Last Updated on December 25, 2022
Do you feel like your man is not ready to commit?
After all, he feeds you lame excuses when the topics of “commitment” and “future” planning are triggered.
Believe me, I know how it feels when all your friends are either getting married or celebrating anniversaries of their committed relationship and here you are, stuck with a man who shivers at the thought of commitment.
Whenever you talk about the future of the relationship, he shrugs it off by saying –
“Darling, there’s a lot of time to talk about it. Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”
This can make you question yourself. But never think you are not good enough for him. Your man may have commitment issues and going hard on him isn’t going to help in any way.
It’s better to step aside and acknowledge why your man who is too afraid to lose you is also afraid of commitment.
Why Men Won’t Commit To You?
1. He doesn’t owe you anything
This point can be a little intimidating for you.
Like, after giving so much effort, sacrificing so much for him, and spending almost all of my free time with him, he doesn’t owe me anything?
The answer remains the same. Men don’t take relationships the same way as women.
What if you gave so much of you for this to work out… this wasn’t a deal for him.
If things go too far, he can shamelessly admit that he didn’t ask you for making efforts and treating him special.
It wasn’t a marriage- a socially accepted agreement where you promised to stay together forever.
He had his share of fun and spice with you and that’s it!
If a man refuses to commit to you after receiving everything that you have got to give him, it’s because he never took this relationship seriously.
Even when he was kissing you, the thought of moving out when things got serious was always there at the back of his mind.
2. His past experiences are coming in the way
A lot of times when guys don’t commit, it’s because they are not able to walk past their past experiences yet.
It is entirely possible that his relationship with his ex-girlfriend was a rocky one.
He has never been more in love when out of the blue she stamped on his heart and decided to leave.
The fear of falling in love all over again and giving someone access to the most vulnerable parts of him gives him anxiety attacks.
Your guy might have subconsciously accepted that whoever he falls for, will leave him at the end.
The fear of rejection keeps him away to commit to you.
You may find this hard, but if he is still not getting into a committed relationship due to his past experiences, there are very high chances that he is still not over his ex-girlfriend and has found you just like a rebound.
3. The idea of dating multiple women fascinates him
Men like to keep a list of women they have slept with, or as they call it a “score-card”.
You will be shocked to realize that after all the huge opinions he shares of changing the world, he is not that of a good person after all.
There’s nothing wrong if he is a fan of one-night stands and friends with benefits.
But he is a jerk if he shows you a vision of a future together to get you in bed and since then he is running away from commitment.
If dating apps still earn from him and snaps from uncountable women keep buzzing his phone screen and then guess what, the guy is not really a fan of monogamy.
Some men like to sleep with as many women as they want to keep their score-card high.
Such men are not afraid of commitment.
They are afraid of sleeping with the same woman for the rest of their lives.
4. There is a lack of emotional compatibility and connection
It’s not always about the man having the urge to sleep with multiple women that stops him from committing.
Sometimes, he isn’t just feeling it right and thinks there is a lack of connection.
You guys have recurrent fights and none of them conclude to a solution.
Both of you have different opinions about every aspect of life and very dissimilar taste.
It is said – Opposite attracts!
But sometimes, the dissimilarities are so much that they are hard to handle and cope up with.
No one can make the mistake of choosing a life partner who seemed like trouble from the very first date.
Now that you came face to face with the reasons that are making your man not commit to you, I’m sure that you got an idea that these issues can’t be fixed with force.
Sending unlimited texts, crying over the phone, drunk-calling, and begging him is going to touch his dead ears and revert back to you.
Even threatening or harming yourself will not work if the man has decided he is not vouching for the future.
How to get him to commit without pressure?
1. Empower your man and support his interests
From supporting him to achieve his dreams of motivating him to take the next steps, a man loves it when a woman empowers him.
Also Check– What Does a Libra Man Like in a Woman?
I’ve conversed with many women about relationships and dating. Most of the time when they talk about their men, it seems like they are describing their arch-enemy.
Forcing him to commit and hurling abuses at him for not providing to you emotionally will only make him pull away from you further.
He will feel suffocated if you hate his guts yet demand him to meet you at the other end of the aisle.
Let’s not drive him away by your actions.
Your man should feel at his best when he is with you.
Appreciate his good qualities. Support his dreams and hobbies. Take part in the things he loves to do.
If he is a fan of action movies, plan a movie date for him even if you’re not a fan of the genre.
If he loves playing golf, ask him to teach you the sport.
When a man sees your excitement in his interests, he will automatically want to spend more time with you and finally, commit to you.
2. Let him into thinking that you are the sunshine of his life
Have you met someone whose mere sight takes all your blues away?
Their presence is so warm, loving, and cheerful that they feel nothing less than sunshine.
You have to be that person for him.
The best way to implement this idea is through body language and non-verbal cues.
Give him his best time when he is with you. The man must associate positive experiences with your presence.
Comfort him and make him smile. Treat him as such that when he has some good or bad news to share, you are the first one to cross his mind.
This helps to establish strong intimacy without the use of words or sex.
Who doesn’t like to spend life with someone who makes them smile?
3. Be his best cheerleader
As much as a man wants affection and attention, he also wants support and belief.
Don’t be a woman who constantly nags about his dream job, career, and daily routine.
Showing him the right way when he is keeping a blind eye to all his issues is important.
But don’t overdo it to the extent that he starts feeling that you are judgmental and over-critical.
Believe in his dreams. Support him to achieve them.
Celebrate his achievements as your own and listen carefully to whatever he has got to say.
When you take a genuine interest in what is going in his life and how his day was, he will be comfortable in sharing.
This way, he will crave your presence and your great qualities of being a good listener.
As far as your love goes, reconsider your decision of committing to him if you are not okay with his dreams and ambitions.
You can’t spend your whole life faking.
Ultimately, he will find out you were really not appreciative of him and things can turn ugly.
4. Make him feel like he is the protector or hero of your life
I understand your desire to be a strong, independent woman who can go along with her really well without the support of a man.
I know you really are a strong woman. But sometimes men need to feel like they are the hero of your life.
As stupid as it seems, but is pure science.
Men are born with the biological urge to be the protector and provide for their family and woman.
It has a direct effect on their testosterone release which has a direct link to increasing their sex-drive.
If you want your man to commit to you, you have to serve his hero-instinct.
Well, you can do that by asking him for tiny favors like opening the tight caps of your water bottles or shifting heavy furniture.
It does not only make him feel like more of a man, but it also increases his attraction towards you.
The hero-instinct is described in detail in His Secret Obsession by James Bauer.
5. Work on making him immensely attracted to you
Loving a guy, always being available for him, treating him as your hero…
Do you think these are enough to make a man committed to you?
It requires something more and that’s called sexual attraction.
What’s the point of committing or marrying when you are not turned on by your partner?
This guy feels the same.
And if he isn’t already obsessed with you in bed, it’s time to do the pending work now.
Pay attention to the way you dress and carry yourself. Put a flowery, feminine fragrance to make him addicted.
Be a hell of an adventure in bed and sweep him off his feet all over again.
Commitment requires emotional as well as sexual compatibility if you don’t want to find him or yourself having affairs.
Apart from the physical part, also consider other tools of attraction.
Make him laugh. Be an adventure. Have fun, be cool, and simultaneously be responsible.
6. Win his friends by being fun
Do you know who matters to a guy after his family?
Though the guy gives you more attention and time, it’s always friends over girlfriend for them.
Now you know what your next stop is… win his friends by being the girl they can chill with.
Appearing arrogant and throwing tantrums when you are around his friends is a big NO!
Be approachable and have a good time with them.
If the guy takes you out to meet his friends, try a friendly gesture and say the beer is from your side!
They are going to love you for this.
Another thing, as much as you want to hang out with your girlfriends, the guy wants to have his night outs with the boys too!
Don’t give off clingy vibes by calling him every hour to check where he is or if he ate anything or not.
Let him have his time so he isn’t the topic of amusement for his friends.
If you are good to his friends, not only will they love you but also help you to make the man commit to you.
7. Never make the mistake of being easily available for him
It’s not a secret that it’s heaven to spend our days with someone who looks like a million bucks while making us feel like we look like a million bucks too!
I know that you love dressing up for him, looking good, and all that stuff…
But the man you want to win over by your looks should also feel like he has to do something as well to win you over.
It’s not a one-way thing.
If you don’t already know, men rarely go for a woman who chases them.
When you chase a man, you are taking away his right to do so. This never allows his adrenaline to rush for you.
In the end, you are left with the option of chasing this man while he craves the attention of a woman who doesn’t give a shit about his existence.
Men don’t like women who come to them so easily.
So, to make a man commit to you, stop making all the efforts on your own and wait for his efforts too.
He should also feel that he needs to make you commit or he will lose you forever.
8. Have a life that doesn’t include just your love-life
Girl, confidence works like a magnet.
And no other woman is as confident as an independent woman.
This woman knows she has a life other than her love-life. This woman knows she had hobbies, choices, and interests.
This woman knows she can’t depend on her guy for everything. And this woman attracts a whole lot of guys along her way.
If you want a man to commit, be this woman.
Don’t include him in everything that you do. Even if it’s hard, maintain some boundaries.
Give time to your family and don’t lose connection with your friends.
Indulge in self-loving activities. Hit the gym. Work your ass off. Earn the best life possible.
The man should know that your life doesn’t depend on him.
I don’t know why it is romanticized so much, but codependent relationships are not cool!
Get your shit together and let the man know that you are perfectly awesome in your life.
He is just that someone who adds a little bit of extra awesomeness to it.
Also Check– Signs He is Falling For You
It’s not hard to make a man commit when he already loves you. It’s just his insecurities and doubts that come along the way. By following the tips mentioned in the article, you can easily get your dream man to commit to you.
But what if he doesn’t love me?
If all the efforts and following all the ways can’t move his rock-hard heart, it’s time for you to stop hitting your head on the wall.
But before moving on, do you want to try once more?
Then this time try your hands on The Secret Obsession. It has worked for me; I hope it will work for you too.
There’s a hero in every man who wants to come out of the shell.
By becoming the woman who helps him out to do that, you can surely be the one to whom he commits till the very end of his life.
You just need to trigger his hero-instinct and apply it successfully, and bam!
He will be obsessed with you and commit to gain your love and devote himself to you for the rest of his life.