14 Signs He Is Not That Into You.

by John Santana

We all want a partner who holds our hands while we walk the long desolate path of life.

But does loneliness creep in your mind even when you are in his arms?

He doesn’t feel like the one he pretended to be when he was chasing you.

You really don’t feel secure with this guy.

But yet, you keep on fooling your mind by listening to your heart in hopes of living the dreams you once saw with him.

Your partner for years or a guy who has just started dating you can disappoint your wishes just the same.

So dear, instead of feeding yourself rubbish, pick up your self-worth and move out of this heck without wasting a minute.

But before that, let’s be sure by checking the signs that scream he is not that into you.

14 Signs he’s not into you

1. Your name comes a lot later in his priority list.

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We make time for the people who matter to us.

No matter how busy our daily life is and how stressed we are due to work, we always find a way to see our beloved even if it’s just for a hug.

A guy who is not into you will treat you like an option even when you have given him the number one place in your life.

Work, family, friends, drinks, women, video games – these all will be above than you in his priority list.

You will come a lot later… mostly when he is not partying or playing around with his boys.

You will see him when he is bored and has nothing to do.

You will see it as a reward, but you are just an option who helps him to pass time.

2. He takes hours to reply and you take seconds.

You are on the top of the sky when you see a notification from him on your phone.

But you will find that you are the one who initiates all the conversations.

He takes hours or even days to reply and when he does, you jump like a pet dog.

Just to show him that you are as busy as he shows himself, you decide to wait for 20 minutes before you reply back.

But end up texting him in the first 5 minutes only.

If you are familiar with these feelings then hey baby girl, here’s the deal he is not the right one.

Men who love you or are interested in you take the initiative to start conversations.

Come on! No one is too busy to give you a proper 10 minutes of a loving conversation.

And if you find him online or commenting under other girl’s photos while you wait helplessly for him to check on you,

Then run-away lady. He isn’t the one who will treat you the way you deserve.

3. To rely on him means to disappoint yourself.

A man you can’t rely on…?

A big NO!

The guy who is not serious about you will prove from time to time that you can’t rely on him.

He promised to meet you, didn’t he? But at the last moment, he ruined it by making a dumb excuse.

You called him for help when you were in a problem? Did he turn up? Probably not.

Did he tell you just a day ago that he isn’t on talking terms with his girl colleague and now you can see him talking to her like they have never been separated?

And you have to sneak this information as this guy doesn’t care to inform you about this either.

His ways and mannerisms will always confuse you. You can’t rely on him at all, even if you think he is perfect.

If he isn’t reliable, then he is just wasting your time.

Take a stand for yourself.

4. You consistently chase him like a fangirl.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Men are chasers.

They like chasing women due to some weird chemistry of their mind that even they don’t know.

They like getting you as a reward or prize of the hard work they have done to pursue you.

If the guy is not chasing you, then he does not intend to be with you or doesn’t see you as his trophy girl.

If he is, he will make you feel special, he will respect your feelings and will give you his time apart from surprising you from time to time.

But if you are chasing him while he is running away as a catch just means that he is not into you.

And when a man is giving you signs that he is not into you, believe him.

Don’t keep on chasing him or trying different things to be his trophy girl.

Always remember, a girl of self-worth and high self-esteem is always better than a girl whose only plans are to persuade a man to love her.

5. Efforts…? What’s that?

Keeping a good woman around needs efforts.

But are you the one putting all the efforts of a man who doesn’t care to value them?

Obviously, when someone cares for you, you can feel their care in everything that he does.

Feeling neglected and not cared for is one of the major signs that he isn’t thinking about you seriously.

This may hurt you deeply and you may try to confront him by telling all the things that hurt your feelings.

But even after listening to it from you, will he care?

Maybe, yes. For the first three or four days, he will try to change and do the things you love.

But soon he will return to his former self – a cold and emotionless man who cares just for himself.

Finding flaws in yourself is the biggest mistake you can do when he stops giving you the attention he gave once.

You can also be one of those who never got a minute trace of attention from this man.

This can be your greatest mistake to blame yourself for his behavior.

Just accept that this guy isn’t the right one for you and move on – no matter how hard it feels.

6. He doesn’t take you out on real dates.

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Real dates feel like a dream.

You dress up in your favorite dress. Put the right amount of makeup and smell just right.

You love yourself when you look at the mirror and when your date compliments you, it all feels heavenly.

But what if he doesn’t?

What if he compliments you but his words seem fake?

What if he doesn’t take you out on dates at all?

Ughhhh….! What are you doing with such a man my love?

This guy will call you home when he is horny or visit your place to spend some time.

He will not take you to real dates where a man holds the hands of his lady and pulls out the chairs for her.

He is not ready to give you candlelit dinners or take you out to your favorite restaurant to feed you your favorite cuisine.

Such a man is definitely with you for sex. There is no emotional commitment.

Must Read: 13 Signs and their meaning to tell what a guy wants from you

7. Introducing you to his friends and parents is not a deal for him.

The best way to find a cheater or a man who is just messing up with you is his wish to introduce to his closed ones.

A guy who is in your life for temporary pleasure will not even think of arranging a meeting between you and his friends.

He will not take you home to meet his family.

Of course, he will give reasons like he is not going well with them or they are not the people you should meet as they don’t know how to behave.

You will be shocked to know that the man with whom you have put your profile picture has not even mentioned your name to his friends.

While on the contrary, you have introduced him to all your friends and you keep rejecting guys telling them that you have a boyfriend.

But this guy’s best friend also is not aware of your existence.

Men do this when they are with you for a short period of time and just for the sake of having a girl with whom they can talk romantic and dirty.

He is surely gonna leave you once he gets another girl. Or when another girl finds out about you.

8. He seeks outside validation over your compliments.

Don’t we suddenly start feeling more beautiful and more desirable when there is a partner with us who compliments us daily and treats us like a queen?

It’s almost like we fall in love with ourselves once again because he loves us so dearly.

You too love your boyfriend dearly. You keep flooding him with compliments.

A compliment is left whenever he uploads a picture with lots of heart emoticons.

You can’t stop pulling his cheeks and telling him how cute he is and how gorgeously handsome he looks no matter what.

But this guy goes out to seek validation?

Your love and compliments don’t move him a bit.

He can be found talking to other girls on how ugly he has become nowadays since he left gymming.

He will upload stories where he will write – “Ohh god! I’m so unattractive! Will a girl ever like me?”

Of course, he doesn’t think he is unattractive. He is just seeking validation.

He wants girls to reply to him in compliments on how gorgeously hot he is so he can know whether the girl is interested in him or not.

And when she does, he has just got flesh in his trap and now the game will begin. Flirting, proposing, and asking her out.

If what you think about your man is not enough for him and he dies for other women’s appraisals, then you know where his heart lies.

9. He doesn’t live in the moment when he is with you.

He-doesn't live-in-the-moment-when-he-is-with-you
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Meeting him gives you immense pleasure. It makes you happy and excited.

You excitedly share all the things that you have kept in your heart for a week.

But this man doesn’t seem to be interested in any of them.

He will either look at his phone or look at you absent-mindedly as if the language you are talking is alien to him.

The guy can even dare to cut you in the middle of the sentence and start talking about a thing that is completely off-topic.

Don’t fool yourself by saying that he can’t get you because he is a guy.

Men who are really interested​ in their women listen to each and every word she says carefully.

They listen because they like this woman and want to know everything about her.

They want to know every story that she has to tell.

Not paying attention to what you speak and not staying in the moment is a sign that he is not happy in your presence.

10. All his motives appear selfish – even on the bed.

His motives will be selfish.

He will never try to adjust for you.

If the time fixed by him for a date is not convenient for you, he will cancel the date.

When he goes to a restaurant, he will order his choice of food without caring what you feel about it.

He will smoke, drink, or talk to other girls in your presence even if you have mentioned your dislike for these things.

Not just on regular common work, he will be selfish even on the bed.

It’s a great deal for a woman to share her body with someone else.

All she wants to feel is loved, respected, and to be made feel special and at ease when she is at her most vulnerable stage.

But this man will only care for what he wants.

He will ask you to do things even if you are not comfortable doing them.

If providing you pleasure and satisfaction doesn’t matter to him, then move on.

There are many men who will die to be with you if only you properly open your eyes.

11. When you close your eyes, you can only remember bad memories.

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Yes, the starting days were so good that they felt unreal.

Tell you what, they were truly unreal.

Now all you can remember is bad memories.

Memories of how badly he treated you on special occasions, how he refuses to call or check on you, how he doesn’t take you out on dates and how he doesn’t give a damn about your feelings.

You close your eyes and remember sad instances that fill your eyes with tears and make your heart heavy.

This is not something that you deserve… Do you?

12. Conversations about future plans make him sick.

The guy who likes/loves you can’t stop making plans with you for the future.

When someone really considers you special, they think of keeping you close with them forever.

Such a guy will plan trips, call you to meet his friends and family and will often talk about how his future with you will look like.

But a guy who isn’t that into you…? He will feel like pissing in his pants.

If he is avoiding talking about long term commitment or marriage even after being with you for years, then don’t listen to him saying “I’m not ready”.

Years of experience must have made him understand whether he will ever be ready or not.

And if he says no, then it’s a clear answer, his answer is going to be a no always.

13. He agrees to spend time with other women rather than you.

People willingly​ cancel plans, trips, and appointments to spend time with their lady love, which is unhealthy and toxic too.

In this case, you know the guy loves you, though in a toxic way, which is also wrong.

But what about a guy who drops plans because a girl asked him to meet him today?

Does he treat you and the other girls as the same? Or does he make them feel more special than he makes you?

If he is involved with other girls, flirts with them on your face and in your absence, gives them gifts and takes them on dates, you have already lost your spot dear.

Let him not be the guy who treats you as a woman who sticks to him even when he sticks with other women.

14. You can’t leave the relationship even when it feels wrong.

Seriously, the worst phase of a relationship is when you can’t leave him even if you want to.

You can see all the signs, feel all the wrong emotions, and cry to sleep at night.

But leaving this guy is not possible. It’s almost like an addiction.

In reality, it is.

This is called Intermittent Reinforcement.

Boys like him leave you when they feel like it and come back when they feel convenient.

He will treat you so badly that you will spend days crying but he will come back again and suddenly treat you so special that all your dreams of a beautiful future rejuvenate and you fall for him again.

This forms a loop until he discards you when not even a trace of emotions is left in you that he can step on.

What to do next?

If you can relate to more than one sign of this article, then you are thinking of a man who is not into you.

Many women stick with such men thinking that their love can change them.

But what they refuse to accept is, if the man doesn’t love you, he will not value your love at all.

It’s better to be the strong, brave woman you are, pick your pieces and kick this man out of your life, no matter how badly it hurts.

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John Santana

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