Last Updated on July 23, 2022
A new relationship gives indescribable joy and excitement. Your heart has been pierced by Cupid. Every time you get a text from your partner, your heart pounds as if you have just run a marathon. The anticipation, the nervousness, the happiness… It all makes you feel like you are living in paradise.
That being said, people tend to forget to ask important questions at the beginning of the relationship because they are so blinded by love. These questions are defining factors that determine if your relationship will last long.
If you want to know if this person is the right one, you need to ask these 21 questions. By the end of it, you will know how far this person can walk you through life.
Also Read: Is It Easy To Date a Bipolar Man?
21 Questions For a New Relationship
1. Are you looking for commitment?
Setting the expectations straight should be the first step of every relationship. The moment it goes from casual dating to being in a committed relationship is exhilarating. Finally, there is someone you want to commit yourself to. It is all going to be exclusive from now on. Likewise, you would want the same from your partner.
You need to ask your partner to see how committed they are, if this relationship is exclusive, and if they are serious about a long-term commitment. Don’t guess someone’s intentions. Since you are in a relationship, it is fair both of you talk it out.
2. Are there any exes still in the picture?
This is a sensitive topic that most people would care about. This is a dealbreaker for some and not a big deal for others. Being friends with an ex is not a crime. But if this is something that will make you uncomfortable, you need to ask your partner before you are in too deep.
If they are indeed good friends with their exes, you need to evaluate if you can live with that. Everyone has a different stance on this, so it is important you see this eye to eye with your partner.
3. What is something that will always cheer you up?
After a long day of work, whether it is a whole tub of ice cream, a long bath, or a glass of wine, everyone needs something to cheer them up. As their partner, you probably should know how to put a smile on their face when they come back from work looking all drained.
4. How was your childhood like?
Understanding the childhood of someone allows you to paint a clear picture of their personality. It explains a lot why they are the way they are.
For example, someone that was abandoned by their parent may experience abandonment issues. They need more affirmation that their partner is not going anywhere to feel safe. On the other hand, someone that grew up in a fun-loving and warm household can have so much trust in their partner and feel comfortable even if they go out to party all night.
5. Where have you always wanted to travel outside of the country?
Seeing the world is a big thing. It broadens your horizons and you learn a lot more about yourself and things around you. For most people, it is a major turn-off if their partner doesn’t ever want to leave the country or think anywhere else in the world is good.
Travelling doesn’t have to be lavish. It only shows if your partner is curious about the world and has an adventurous heart.
6. What is the one thing you want to do before you die?
What is on your partner’s bucket list? Is it skydiving off the topic of Mount Everest? Is it going on a safari tour in Kenya? Or is it opening up a bar in the town where they grew up?
The bucket list can change with time, but it’s always good to know what is something that they would want to do. Maybe it will be on your bucket list as well.
7. What makes you “YOU”?
There is an element that makes everyone unique. A person’s answer reveals their sense of identity. How they define themselves shows a lot of characteristics. You would want to know what kind of person they are.
8. What is something that people don’t expect from you?
There are always things that people can’t tell just by looking at you. Perhaps they are thin and short but are an MMA fighter. Or maybe they work in a management position at an international firm but never even finished high school.
By asking more questions, you will get to know your partner more in a way that surprises you. These unexpected traits make them special and somewhat mysteriously attractive.
9. What is a dealbreaker for you?
In each relationship, there is a boundary that no one wants to cross. Once you cross that line, it’s over. Therefore, you should ask where that line is when you begin a new relationship. It can be mind-blowing sometimes how different each person is when it comes to this.
It is a thin line to walk on and things may get uncomfortable if you don’t agree with each other’s views. But this is a good thing because now you know you are fundamentally different in this department. It is time to think about what to do next.
10. Do you want children?
Even when you are both not ready to think about tying the knot and having kids, it’s good to know where each other stands on this. Remember, if someone doesn’t want kids now, it’s unlikely that they will ever change their mind.
People’s take on this topic is usually rigid and fixed. The concept was formed long ago and it will not change. So, if you do not hear the answer you are expecting, keep in mind that you probably never will. That’s why it’s crucial to ask this question early on.
11. Are you close to your parents?
Their relationship with their parents reveals how they see having a family. It also gives you hints on how good of a family person they will be. Normally, someone that is close to their family values the bonding.
Most people learn how to construct a family with their partner by mimicking their parents. If they are close to their parents, they will be better at being a parent. When you start a family with someone like that, they will likely treat you the same way they treat their family.
12. Who is someone that inspired you?
It can be a teacher or a friend. Maybe your partner is at this job or in this field because of someone. Knowing what pushed them to do it is like piecing the puzzle together. You will see the logical reasoning behind it and thus understand their actions better.
13. Do you think marriage is necessary?
People can debate all day long on this. You will find people fighting to advocate that marriage is no more than a piece of paper. Others strongly hold the fort because they believe marriage is the ultimate goal for relationships and a symbol of eternal love and commitment.
This is a rather serious deal for couples. It would be disappointing to be with someone for a decade just to find out you two can’ resolve this issue. Same as having children, people’s view on this topic is quite stagnant. Don’t expect your partner to change because if you are not going to change, why should they?
14. How do you define cheating in a relationship?
Here is a good one. Is going out with a colleague and drinking alone all night considered cheating? How about texting someone all the time but without any physical interaction? Or kissing an ex one last time because they are getting married?
This is something you would want to sort out right from the start. Set the bar clear and rules straight to avoid any confusion. Misunderstandings will arise if you can’t properly define this.
15. Do you think Valentine’s Day is corny?
Valentine’s Day may be a commercial festival, but it is surely important to billions of people around the world. It would be great to know what your partner thinks about this.
16. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
Hypothetical questions access your partner’s creative part and you will see what is important in their life. You will gain more knowledge about them through these questions.
17. Do you do drugs?
You should know what your partner thinks about this. You don’t necessarily have to break up even if you are dismayed by their answers. But you should seriously consider encouraging them to change their habits.
18. Have you ever had an STD?
As their partner, you have every right to know about their existing or past STDs that may or may not resurface. As such, you need to return the courtesy by revealing yours. It can be an embarrassing talk but it is a must for you both to have a healthy sex life.
19. Where do you want to live when you retire?
See if your visions about the future align. Do they want to live in a hut in the mountain or enjoy the vibrant city life? It’s romantic to paint a picture together.
20. When was the last time you cried?
Their vulnerability is not a weakness. If they show their vulnerable side to you, it means they trust you. You know someone in the most genuine way through their past traumas and pain.
21. How long was your longest relationship?
If you are serious about this, you need to know if they have been in a long-term relationship before and why it fell apart. Someone that has been in a committed relationship for a long time is likely to be able to sustain it and know what it takes to make something work.
Where to find a loving long-term partner?
Even if you are not in a committed relationship right now, don’t worry, it will come. Why not explore your chance with online dating if you don’t already have someone in mind?
One of the online dating platforms with the highest success rate is Adult FriendFinder. With over 90 million users, successful matches are happening every day. You can perform advanced searches to find exactly what you are looking for. Whether you are picky about physical traits or personalities, this site has got you covered.
Members are fun-loving and open-minded. If you are looking for something serious, write it on your profile and you will be getting messages all day long. Members are not shy on Adult FriendFinder. You don’t carry the sole burden of messaging someone.
Another online dating app that is a must-try is Ashley Madison. It is one of the handful of well-built online dating apps with a smooth user interface and excellent features. You can swipe, click like, or pass on each profile or save it for later. Members are mostly professionals with a busy work schedule that want to keep things private because they are well-known in their respective fields.
It is also popular for MILFs and cougars to look for some fun. On Ashley Madison, there is no judgment. Only love and joy are celebrated. Be honest about why you are here and there will be thousands of members in your area that you will click with.
Both of these online dating platforms have an impressive track record and awesome features. Users are loyal to the site. Sign up where your love is awaiting you.
Asking the right questions consolidates your relationship. You will know if this is the right person as soon as you get answers to these 21 questions. These questions explore different realms of your love to dissect how likely this will work and how compatible you are. Ask your partner these 21 questions to see if your love is real!