by John Santana
The male orgasm is so easy to misunderstand. Lots of women (and some men) take it for granted. They spend their youth with energetic but nervous young men who can’t hold themselves together for more than a few minutes. This creates an expectation that a man will orgasm no matter what.
But that is not necessarily the case. There are plenty of situations where a man might not orgasm at all. And on top of that, there are also situations when he might fake an orgasm. Why would he do this?
The possibilities are many. But we are not here to examine his motivations. If a man is faking his orgasm, then you should talk to him about why he is doing it. Maybe he’s too tired to be properly aroused. Maybe he doesn’t want you to feel like you’re not pleasuring him. Maybe this, maybe that…
Motivation is impossible to prescribe to someone else. The only person who truly knows for sure why he fakes his orgasm is him. What is more important for you is not why he does it, but how he does it. There is a good chance that he will try to hide it if he fakes his orgasm. If he does, then it benefits you to cut through that dishonesty. You don’t have to call it out.
But you have to identify it to talk about it.
So, Here Are 10 Signs That Your Man Faked His Orgasm.
1. He Overacts
Faking anything is essentially a performance, and if he wants to try and fake an orgasm, he has to perform an orgasm. The thing about orgasms, however, is that they are so sudden and overwhelming that a person does not really get to think about how they act during them.
That makes it basically impossible to reflect on how they make a person sound or move and reproduce those sounds and movements in a realistic way. If you can’t tell already, sounds and movements are the two things that you are looking for when you are trying to spot an overacted fake orgasm.
The sounds of an orgasm are usually moans and the movements are usually the shuddering of the body. Both of these things happen for a reason: An orgasm is a release of tension throughout the whole body.
The moans should sound like a sigh, going from louder (relatively speaking, too loud is a red flag) to quieter. The movements will probably be inelegant, but the most important part of the movements is that they will start from the spine and move outwards, as that is where most tension gets released.
2. There Is No Build-Up
Since pleasure and the orgasm are so closely tied with tension in the body, you will usually be able to feel when he is “getting there.” Like before, his back is a good sign. If there is no tension in his back besides that which is needed to keep his body moving, then his pleasure might not be building.
Of course, there are plenty of potential physical signs that his pleasure is building. A firmer grip, heavier breathing, faster movement, and so on and so forth. All of these can contribute to the feeling of a “build-up,” but none of them alone will confirm that there is a build-up happening.
By the same token, the absence of any of those will not confirm that a build-up isn’t happening. If his orgasm seems to come out of nowhere with none of these painting the picture of a build-up, then there is a good chance that he was faking it when he felt the time was right.
3. He Wants To Do It From Behind
It is entirely possible that your man is aware of the signs of tension and pleasure, and that in order to avoid getting caught moving robotically or dispassionately, he prefers to do it from behind.
It should be noted that it is improbable that he is doing it from behind for this reason. If your man asks to do it like this, then trying to hide his fake orgasm is pretty far down on the list of possible reasons. You should take this as a piece of possible evidence, not the one piece of evidence that ties your suspicions together.
4. There’s No Physical Evidence Of An Orgasm
This is a good place to start looking if you are beginning to suspect your man of faking his orgasms. Try and find the condom, or feel your lady parts, body, and sheets for semen. If he had an orgasm, there had to be a release of semen somewhere. At least, most of the time.
It is actually physically possible for a man to orgasm without ejaculating. It is uncommon, but it can happen, especially if he has had a lot of sex lately. Granted, that would require him to be orgasming a lot. But if you have been having sex with him a lot lately, then he might either fake his orgasm or seem to fake his orgasm specifically because he is too spent to produce more of that evidence.
5. He Doesn’t Fall Asleep Easily Afterwards
It is quite normal for a person, man or woman, to be exhausted by an orgasm and fall asleep afterwards. This is a combination of the energy spent on the orgasm itself, as well as the sex beforehand.
But something that not a lot of people know is that an orgasm burns as many calories and as much energy as the sex leading up to it. Without that orgasm, sleep does not come as easily.
6. He Falls Asleep Far Too Easily Afterwards
Alright, this sounds unfair—he might be faking both if he doesn’t fall asleep, but also if he does? No, that’s not what we’re saying. We are saying that there is an expectation that an orgasm will put him to sleep. But it is not expected to knock him unconscious. If your man goes from orgasming to sleeping at an unusually quick pace, then that might indicate that it was faked for very different reasons.
Honestly, he might just have been too tired to keep going. In this fast-paced world where everyone works two jobs, it is possible for a man, no matter how much he wants to, to be too tired to get there.
7. His Erection Lasts Long After
Lots of people, men and women, have expectations of erections that are warped by pornography. They expect the erection to last as long as the guy wants and consider it a failure of athleticism or willpower for it to ever go away.
But simply put, an erection will usually go away after an orgasm without drugs to help maintain it. So, if your man still has an erection after his orgasm, that might be a red flag.
It shouldn’t be taken in a vacuum, however. He might just be really turned on and want to go again.
8. He Goes To The Bathroom After
In this situation, he might do this just to clean himself up and be hygienic. But if he takes too long, then you might find that he is going to the bathroom to masturbate in order to finish himself off.
9. He Doesn’t Want To Talk About Sex In General
A guy who doesn’t want to talk too much about sex can be a green flag in a relationship, at least in comparison to a perverted geed who keeps bringing it up at every opportunity. But if he is uncomfortable around sex, or simply doesn’t find it interesting, then he might be faking that core component of his sexual fulfillment.
Of course, talking about the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about it can be valuable, even if it is not your favorite conversation. It is important to set up that boundary.
10. He Overemphasizes Your Pleasure
It is probably hard to imagine a man “over” emphasizing your pleasure. If a man is focused on pleasing you, isn’t that a good thing? Well, it’s good for you, but be aware that it might come at the cost of an equitable relationship. Your man might not feel comfortable orgasming with you.
This isn’t just a problem for your sex life, but for your relationship in general. If he is totally dedicated to your pleasure above his own, then that means he will be building up that tension and never releasing it.
That has the potential to hurt him internally in a long-term way. Your man deserves an orgasm as much as you do. So, work to get him relaxed and comfortable enough to really orgasm with you.
Sex, like all things in a relationship, is a cooperative effort. Imagine you are buying a house alongside your man. If you are going to use it together, you should probably talk about it. And if you are going to share the intimacy of sex together, you should talk about that too, no matter how awkward.