“Look, there goes your needy girlfriend!” is not something that you would like to hear from your boyfriend’s peer group. In fact, that is The Worst Nightmare of every girlfriend.
If you hear something like this, you need to sit back and start thinking about why this is happening to you. Today we are going to talk about the numerous ways in which you will be able to understand how you can stop being the needy girlfriend and regain your long lost confidence back.
Be aware of how blooming your past relationships have been with your beloved ones.
The word relationship is imprinted in our minds first with the help of our parents- because they are the first people with whom you learn to relate to, and also you get to have the kind of love that you actually deserve. When someone calls you needy, look back and think of all the relationships that you have had with all your near and dear ones and how you have held on to them tight. Once you know that you are capable of stabilizing a relationship, you will definitely get back your long lost confidence.
It is a very well known saying that the more you expect, the more you will be hurt or disappointed. This is the reason why you should not compare the kind of Expectations that you have from your parents to that of your boyfriend. Otherwise, it will become a burden on your relationship and your boyfriend is more likely to think that all you are comprised of is a massive sack of expectations.
Understand what avoidant nature means
You might not know about it, but your boyfriend might be suffering from this avoidant nature in which an individual feels that he or she is not deserving enough to be loved and therefore he starts ignoring you as well. At one point in time, you might even feel that he is having a fear of intimacy with you and is not being able to trust that you actually are in love with that person. In case that happens, you need to extricate him out of that notion upon which you will feel confident again about your relationship.
Avoid toxic attachment
It is always better to amputate the arm before your body succumbs to gangrene’. Similarly, it is always an essential element to eliminate the toxicity of your relationship before it scrambles down. Find out why you are the needy girlfriend and eliminate the cause. In many cases, it has been seen that an anxious girlfriend and avoidant boyfriend actually creates toxic chemistry and it is actually not a relationship but a trap. Either any one of you have to change, or better still both of you have to improve, or else break the relationship once and for all.
Take a third person perspective of your relationship
Being the needy one, you will always try to get closer to the other person both emotionally and physically, and you would want to get at least once I’m that marks that your relationship is absolutely secure and safe. But just keep out that blinkered vision for a second and analyze your relationship being the third person. Then you will be actually able to understand how you are trying to control the other person and whether or not he likes it. If you can find yourself giving endless messages and calls without waiting for his reciprocation, then you definitely need to change and get out of this right away. You need to try to be the avoidant for a change, and this scenario is sure to improve.
Most importantly believe in yourself
Look at what you have been doing in your relationships and analyze the patterns. If you are absolutely anxious about the security of relationship you need to start believing in yourself and that you can stabilize a relationship on your own without having to rely on anybody. Shred of all the uncertainties that you have and along with it sheared off the anxiousness as well.
Learn the relationship lessons
Every relationship gives you a chance to learn more about human psychology and behavior. Analyze every step of your relationship and learn more so that you can access growth and recovery. Ask your boyfriend what he wants and how much proximity he expects from you. Once you know about his needs and requirements, you will mix with him while keeping a bit of distance and also you will be able to gain your confidence.
Trust your capabilities
If you have been overthinking lately, then it is high time that you started taking a deep breath and thinking that whatever is going to happen is going to be perfect. It is absolutely perfect to be stressed out sometimes, but you need to understand that nagging your boyfriend will definitely term you as a needy girlfriend.
In a nutshell, do not let your relationship be the piece of Elastic that you are trying to stretch beyond its limits. Doing so will cause nothing but hurt you.
- 1 Be aware of how blooming your past relationships have been with your beloved ones.
- 2 Stop expecting
- 3 Understand what avoidant nature means
- 4 Avoid toxic attachment
- 5 Take a third person perspective of your relationship
- 6 Most importantly believe in yourself
- 7 Learn the relationship lessons
- 8 Trust your capabilities