Dating Burnout: What It Is and How to Avoid It
by John Santana
Modern times, modern problems. The 21st century poses various conflicts in the lives of modern-day romantics. There is the boom of online dating, undefined relationships called situationships, breadcrumbing, and — as you know it — ghosting. However, one common problem that not many seem to be aware of is getting burnout from dating. Somehow, being burned out has reached the dating scene. But what is dating burnout? How does it differ from the others?
Just like with getting burnout at work, dating burnout makes people feel stressed and discouraged about meeting other people. The phenomenon was born with dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble making it easy for anyone to find the right person. After a swipe to the right, the only thing getting in between two people meeting is opening lines. While this made dating way easier and even allowed some to find their life partners, it left some users in a rut.
According to a study, 78% of people are getting burnout due to bad matches. Combining the onslaught of instant interactions plus the lack of actual connections, it seems that dating burnout will always be at bay in the modern era.
To help you navigate this new phenomenon, we put together a guide for you to understand and avoid dating burnout. In the age when the future of your love life relies on swipes at your phone, how do you navigate dating and keep yourself from burning out?
Causes of Dating Burnout
What are the causes of dating burnout? While everyone can experience dating burnout, a study shows that online dating is the number one cause of this phenomenon. According to BBC, online dating can cause fatigue and stress to app users with the endless matching, swiping, and ghosting cycle.
Dating apps are becoming more accessible to many allowing anyone access to a pool of potential partners. Worry not, however, as there are many filters for you to find the one such as age range, location radius, gender identity, and sexual orientation. As advantageous as it sounds, this sets an unrealistic expectation for the user to find a picture perfect partner. There will always be an assumption that among all the matches and mismatches, there will always be one person whose hands will fit yours perfectly — and they’re probably just a swipe away.
Speaking of mismatches, rejection, and disappointment doesn’t only mean the lack of matches on the app. A lot of people experience rude behavior at first interaction. Not to mention, the rampant ghosting and breadcrumbing after a match turns dating into a risk-based venture.
Signs of Dating Burnout
Spotting dating burnout might just be the easiest to spot but the hardest to admit. Firstly, if you’ve realized that you’re losing interest in dating, you might want to take a step back. A lot of people find themselves deleting their dating apps altogether. Many people also find themselves feeling fatigued after a date, emphasizing the feeling of loneliness as they come home to an empty apartment right after. All that, plus the overwhelming feeling of going back to the app for another round of swiping and awkward opening lines all point towards dating burnout. If you’re noticing this in your dating routine, you might have to take a second to understand your situation.
How to Avoid Dating Burnout
So, how can one avoid dating burnout? It may not be easy but find time to give yourself a break from the dating scene. Don’t let the idea of being involved with anyone be your goal. Dating is about human connection and if you’re not finding any in your first swipes, don’t be discouraged. As instant as dating apps make it out to be, actual connections build over time. Who knows, your first match might still end up being the only one you need if you just give it time.
Being on dating apps is definitely a double-edged sword. While it’s a great place to find a quick ego boost, it can also crumble your self-esteem pretty quickly. So, always focus on taking care of yourself. Always put personal growth first. Pick up a new hobby, develop a new habit, or spend more time with your friends and family before anything else. If you have a great personal foundation before venturing into these apps then you’ll less likely feel discouraged if you don’t get matches immediately.
That said, always manage your expectations with apps. Not everyone on this app is dating to get married. Some are looking for quick hookups and some just use these apps for the hell of it. Others are only casually dating. There’s no telling what their intentions are. However, as long as your intentions are set in place, there’s nothing to fear. You won’t always get a match at first swipe and you won’t always end up dating your matches. Setting realistic expectations always work best in modern dating.
Find Balance in Online Dating
With the ease of meeting people brought upon by online dating apps and websites, dating has become a more convenient way for the everyday person to (hopefully) find love. However, there has to be balance in everything we do, including dating. Even with the pressures of finding someone, a good balance and knowing your limits do wonders for the heart and soul. Allow yourself to breathe and make sure you’re not only focusing on finding the one. After all, having a healthy relationship with dating itself proves more beneficial for anyone.
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