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Why Does My Girlfriend Feel Loose Sometimes?

by John Santana

Sexual pleasure is a powerful glue that holds couples together. Any dissatisfaction in the sex life will lead to countless fights and arguments. Not having a coordinated sex life will creep up on you mentally.

You probably think that there is nothing worse than not having a girlfriend with a tight vagina. Every man wants a girl with a super tight ass and vagina. It increases sexual pleasure tremendously. Why does your girlfriend feel loose sometimes? What can you do about it? And most importantly, should this be a dealbreaker?

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Why Does my Girlfriend Feel Loose Sometimes?

In most cases, more than one possibility contributes to this situation. It is a combination of multiple factors. See if the following situations apply to you.

1. She is sexually aroused enough

Vaginas are fairly elastic. They respond to different sensations by tightening and loosening up. When she is sexually aroused, her vagina will loosen up and lube up to prepare for insertion. A loosened-up vagina makes it easier for the penis to go in.

Conversely, if your girlfriend is unimpressed or does not feel like having sex, her vagina will respond by not producing the natural lube. Then, her vagina will surely feel super tight. That’s why it is not always a bad sign that she feels loose. It means she is comfortable with you and is having a good time.

Having a tight vagina likely implies she is feeling uncomfortable. Sleeping with you is not on her mind right now. It should be a mutually enjoyable experience and you should want your partner to be aroused too. Pay attention to her facial expression to understand how she is truly feeling.

2. Her menstrual cycle is affecting it

Depending on the hormonal level of each woman, her menstrual cycle can cause her vagina to feel different. On some days, her sex drive is low. Then, even when she wants to have sex, the feeling is not the same.

There will be days when her lady part reacts weirdly to your booty call. Mood swing is common right before or after each period. You may notice that not only her V feels slightly off than usual but her other body parts as well.

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3. You are inserting from a position that makes it feel loose

Positions can change the game. Each position will give a new sensation. Although the sensation differs for each couple, most couples find the doggy style to go the deepest but at the same time feels quite loose whereas the traditional missionary feels tighter.

The body height, shape, and flexibility all affect the performance. Some positions will not feel good if you two do not have the right shape for them. Couples mistakenly believe that it has to do with the vagina when they are using a position that they should not have.

4. She is experiencing mental health issues

It should never be underestimated how mental issues can impact sex life. When she is battling for her mental health, the hormones and mood can drastically affect her sex drive. It also influences how wet she is during sex.

Sexual pleasure is a sensation heavily influenced by the brain. If she is not fully enjoying it, you will feel something is off. For some people, the vagina will feel tighter and for some, it will feel loose.

5. She is recovering from birth

As much as a vagina is elastic, it takes time to recover from something as traumatic as giving birth. The recovery speed depends on the person’s health, age, and birthing process. It can take up to a year or two for the vagina to return to its original state.

During this time, you will feel your girlfriend is loose. It can be frustrating that it still does not feel the same as before after half a year. But remember, the more traumatic it is, the longer it will take to heal. Not only will her vagina feel loose, but the grooves will also feel different. She probably will not be able to naturally produce enough lube for sex as well.

6. Your performance issues are hindering your sexual stimulants

It is not always about the girl. Sometimes, it can be your performance issues playing the devil. Men take a lot of burden on their shoulders when it comes to sex. There are so many unrealistic expectations enforced on men. Eventually, these expectations transform into performance issues.

The harder you try to live up to the expectations, the more you struggle. When you cannot internalize these negative thoughts, you may try to pin them on your significant other and claim her loose vagina is the reason you underperform.

Is It an Unhealthy Sign to Not Have a Satisfying Sex Life?

Sex is undeniably a vital indicator of how harmonious your relationship is. Without a satisfying sex life, you will likely clash with your partner in various other ways. A superb sex life fulfills your relationship and evaluates your bonding to the next level.

Having a sub-par sex life will surely diminish your passion for your partner. Although it will not be the direct factor that terminates the relationship, you will start questioning every aspect of it because you do not feel the right compatibility.

Even in modern society, problems with sex life are still seen as taboo. Couples choose to ignore the problem instead of facing and fixing it. The issue will be insolvable one day. The frustration of not being able to handle it will cause you to look elsewhere for the blame. You will start accusing your partner of something else or blaming yourself for something entirely irrelevant.

All in all, it is an unhealthy sign to not have a satisfying sex life. As much as sex is only one of the numerous aspects of your relationship, the deep-rooted issue will break each branch one by one. Your relationship can crumble before you know it.

However, just because it is unhealthy does not mean you need to end the relationship. There will be challenges to go through together every time even if it is not sex-related. Of course, if you do not want to fix the issue or you see no plausible solution, then leaving it is the best way to go. But more of the time, you can salvage the broken links by establishing a balanced and healthy sex life.

It takes determination and motivation to do it, especially when sex is a seemingly sensitive topic even to those the closest to you. While it is not easy, you need to learn the ways that you can navigate through this mess to make the relationship work.

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What to Do When my Girlfriend is Loose?

Signs she is losing interest

1. Explore more positions

An experienced person will know their preference. You have always liked doggy the best so it is normal to wonder why it feels so bad with your current girlfriend. Keep in mind that just like your fingerprint, there are no two identical private parts. Having the best sexual experience with your previous partner in this position does not translate to anything in your current relationship.

People tend to hold on to previous experience when they should take it with a grain of salt. Your past acts as a guide at best. It should not be the sex bible you live off. Be adventurous and do not overthink that something is wrong with your partner.

You have not found your compatible position yet. It will come with some trial and error. Hence, you and your partner will have to explore the position that fits you both.

2. Do not forget about foreplay

The importance of foreplay cannot be stressed enough. It prepares your partner mentally and physically for intercourse. As opposed to the traditional belief that men take more time to be ready as they need to get hard first, women actually require more effort to get into the game.

Your girlfriend cannot insert anything inside at will. Normally, the vagina is tight and dry-ish. Forcefully inserting anything will cause stress and involuntary contractions, which can be the cause of your weird feeling.

Take the time to build the mood. Kiss her all over the body and make her moan for you to have some rough sex with her. Put up some scented candles and flowers. Turn on the fairy lights in the room. Going slow helps significantly as it gives enough time for her to be horny and aroused. Try not to rush things, no matter how much you want to bang now.

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3. Bring in some sex toys

Surprisingly, these little tiny toys are the answer to your prayers. They magnify the sensation. It is easier to have an orgasm with a sex toy. For sure, you do not want your job to be replaced by a sex toy so you need to find the balance and how to incorporate it into your sex life.

Introducing sex toys is a gentle process. Gradually bring the magnitude up by starting small. List out the things you want to try with your partner. From dildos to bondage, there are so many things that can revolutionize your sex life.

Your frustration in sex life can be due to the lack of stimulation. When your senses are stimulated enough, you will not complain about your girlfriend feeling loose. Everything will feel magical and surreal.

4. See a doctor

Couple therapy is an excellent choice to healthily solve your differences. A professional knows how to steer the conversation to get you to open up. Some couples feel ashamed to discuss their sex life. This should be a stereotype to break and the therapist is here to help.

You also need to realize a therapist is not here to blindly duct tape your relationship back together. They are here to help you analyze the situation and dissect your feelings. Whether you will stay with your partner is your choice, but the sessions will draw a broader and clearer picture for you.

Seeing a doctor is also good for you if you have been suffering from performance issues. The doctor can examine you to see whether this is a physical or mental issue. Measures will be taken according to aid you. Encourage your partner to attend the sessions or medical appointments with you. It is essential that both sides are in this together to know what is going on.

5. Hold off on sex until she is comfortable

If the decaying quality of sex life is due to her physical or mental issues like giving birth or menstrual cycles, wait until she feels better. Never pressure your partner into sleeping with you. The burden of fulfilling the expectations will be repulsive for your partner. She may reject the notion more and more until sex is no longer pleasurable.

Take the time to listen to her needs. Perhaps she has been struggling with postpartum depression or her menstrual cycle has been dreadful. Be understanding and give her the time she needs to recover. In the meanwhile, offer as much support as you can. Intimacy can build up trust. She will want you even more once she is back on her two feet.

6. Do not take drugs

Drugs are a common cause of the change in sex drive and hormonal issues. When you are under the influence, having sex will not be as good. You may believe your girlfriend feels loose but it is just your mind playing tricks on you.

Staying clean is more beneficial to magnificent sex life. You have more control over your body and sensation.


As unpleasant as it is to not feel the tightness from your girlfriend, it is not the end of the world. Follow these tips to see what is wrong and how you can fix it. Do not neglect the problem because you deserve a banging sex life like everyone else!

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John Santana

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