‘Single and ready to mingle’ – If that’s how you define your relationship status for the past gazillion days…weeks…or even years, and you have no idea how to change that, then you have landed at the right place.
Even after trying hard you end up thinking Why can’t I get a Girlfriend? Then let me tell you that you’re not alone, so many people are sailing through life without having even a hint of what it’s like to be in love and a relationship.
Some are single by choice, some by ignorance, and finally, some by their mistakes. And no matter what it is; being single really doesn’t make you an alien, lone soul, or even undeserving of love.
Good news is; you are not the only one stressing about this thing. There are millions of people crying their hearts out and missing the feel to have a girlfriend in their lives.
And the bad news is; it really sucks to be one of them.
After all, who doesn’t want to be loved, to share romantic dates, endless chats after a long tiring day, a kiss to feel special and a warm tight hug to feel good when nothing seems to go well, right?
And no matter what you do nothing seems to turn things good for you. “To have a hot girlfriend” always remains unchecked in your goals diary every year.
While almost every friend of yours are boasting their love life and girlfriend’s pictures on facebook, you are still putting your hope on one right swipe on your Tinder profile.
You followed every tips and dating advice of self-claimed “love experts”, you probably have groomed yourself to look dapper, even started to understand a little bit how women think and what they want…Yet nothing can save you from feeling unworthy of a romantic relationship.
You blame luck, you blame yourself, you can’t stand happy couples, you curse love, you hate Valentine, question your existence and self-worth, but completely neglect the only thing that can really make a difference to your situation.
I.e to dig deeply in “Why’s and “how’s” and look out the reasons that made you a flag bearer of forever singlehood.
And to help you with that I have curated a list of possible reasons for your grayed-out relationship status.
Not all the reasons may apply to you, but I am sure you can relate to most of them.
And, once to find out all the “why’s”, figuring out “how’s” will definitely be an easier part.
Never Had a Girlfriend? Here’s Probably Why
As we move on the reasons to why you never had a girlfriend, one thing we can assure you of; definitely it’s not your luck to be blamed.
Now you might wonder that if not luck, then what else?
Well, we shall figure out that very soon. So, let’s hop on
“I don’t think I am good enough”
Just one line; the world sees and treats you the way you see and treat yourself.
If you are someone who is constantly occupied in digging out mistakes in yourself and have zero self-worth, then getting a “Yes” from a girl can really turn out to be an impossible task.
Your poor self-image and low confidence never let you see the world beyond your vague fears. You live constantly with your self created beliefs and limitations and continue to do so all your life.
I strongly feel that in order for you to expect love from others, you need to love yourself first and foremost. You can’t expect others to accept you as who you are when you yourself are struggling to accept your true self.
If this sounds just like who you are, then this is probably the biggest reason you are forever stuck to singlehood.
I, me and myself
If the only person you can ever think of, and the only one ruling your mind day and night is just ‘you’, then no wonder you haven’t landed a girlfriend yet. Not just the girlfriend; it’s hard for self-occupied people to even find friends.
These people always put themselves first before anyone and anything else. They have no idea how it feels to do something good for others just out of love without expecting anything in return.
Nobody would love to date a person who is constantly dwelled in taking care of just his needs and life. A relationship needs attention and care from both of the partners in order to get strong. And if it’s hard for you to understand this simple thing, then nobody but just you dig this hole yourself, buddy.
Looking for perfection – Waiting for all the lights to turn green
If you are someone who doesn’t believe in compromising and want everything to score well on perfection board, then overcoming this singlehood can turn out really challenging for you.
Be it the right amount of sugar in your coffee or your definition of love, you want everything carved with perfection; just the way you want it to be. Maybe you are waiting for a perfect person to arrive in life to fall in love with and is not ready to settle down for anything less than that. If, that’s so, then please do carry on with your imperfect search.
Life is all about compromises and imperfections. And the truth is nobody is flawless. Even the people who are seeking perfection are imperfect themselves.
If you plan to not settle for anything less than your unpractical expectations, it’s just you at fault.
Don’t wait for the perfect person to arrive in your life. That’s not going to happen, nobody is going to fall from the sky straight into your laps. Go out, take chances, be open to possibilities and you never know how things may turn out for you.
No-shave January, February, March…December… Repeat…
How well you present yourself and take care of yourself can make or break your chances to land a girlfriend.
Every relationship begins with some level of mutual attraction. Love, at first sight, is nothing but just attraction that may turn into love further. If you are someone who doesn’t believe in personal hygiene and dressing up well, then this may be the reason girls are rejecting you.
A guy should know how to dress well, or at least to take care of his hygiene. It doesn’t necessarily mean to wear expensive clothes and accessories, it just means to present yourself attractively and confidently in front of a woman.
Too shy to ask –
Dude! Get out of the false hope that someday a hot girl will walk up to you, propose you, and finally will save you from the tedious struggle. That’s not going to happen. Girls love the guys who are upfront about their feeling and attraction towards them.
Thinking “What if she says no”, “what if she insults me”, “what if she is dating someone else” is not going to help you anyway.
If you have feelings or even the slightest crush on someone, just be straightforward about it.
Most of the people keep their hearts locked behind their shyness just to see their crush fall for someone else in the end. Nobody has the time and patience to wait for you to come out of your cocoon.
Your shyness is doing no good to you. Shy people often find it hard to confront their feelings towards a girl. And that’s why you never had a girlfriend because you never had enough guts to approach one.
Yay! Here comes The Shoulder-man
Maybe it’s your shoulder that’s coming between you and your relationship status. There are chances girls overlook your heart because your shoulder is overshadowing it. If that’s so, then congrats for being a perfect friend-zone material.
Some people are the top preference for a girl when they want to cry their hearts out and bitch about their boyfriends. Girls find them the “nicest” guy they ever met, yet these guys never make it to their preference as a potential boyfriend. And no matter what these guys do, they are never able to come out of a “nice guy” image.
They remain the first choice for girls in almost everything, but the last choice when it comes to getting into a relationship with. And that might be a strong reason why you haven’t landed a girlfriend yet.
Fake it till you make it.
Nobody wants to be around fake people. Not just they are irritating but also someone who can’t be trusted.
Girls can’t stand guys who are are big-time showoffs and pretend to be someone who they are not. And, no relationship can exist for long if it’s built on fakeness. Healthy relationships are those which have a balanced amount of honesty and originality.
People who pretend to be someone else, people who try being over-sweet and over-caring, people with a plastic personality often find it hard to impress a girl. And even if they do, they can’t maintain a relationship for long.
Maybe it’s not your heart but your overjoyed hormones that are killing all your prospects of getting a girlfriend. Maybe it’s your lust hijacking your mind and emotions. If you believe that sex is the only good part of a relationship and it’s the only perk of having a girlfriend then no wonder no girl is interested in dating you.
There are zillions of topics and things to talk about with a girl. But, If all you can talk is just about sex and your obsessions with it, then you are definitely giving wrong signals to the girls. Maybe that’s why girls ignore you because they know about your different ‘shades of gray’.
Part of a wrong tribe
It’s true that our vibe attracts our tribe, and it works vice-versa too. The people you choose to hang out with and people who you call your friends, make a major impact on all areas of your life.
In school, we’ve all had a few ‘friends’ who constantly teased us whenever we were around girls, especially in front of the girl we liked. But there was nothing we could do to stop it.
If you still have friends in your life who make fun of your singlehood and do things to make you feel bad about rather than helping you with it, then it’s time to re-shuffle your friend list.
Girls like guys who are strong-willed, not always hiding behind their friends. Girls only fall for guys who can take a stand and know how to make their presence feel and separate themselves from a herd.
Too girly – “Knows all the shades of pink by names”
Girls enjoy your company, love to have you around, you even made it to their “all girls” WhatsApp group, they never miss to call you for hanging out; not because they find you hot and irresistible, but just because they consider you one of them. BUMP!
Do I even need to point out your mistake here? Girls never fall for guys who are too girly.
You don’t have to be like them to attract them. Many guys make this mistake of getting closer to them by being like them. They enjoy gossips with them, they bitch about others, they discuss new shades of lipsticks, they do everything to please them hoping to form a good connection. Yet they never find success in turning this friendship into a relationship.
You never grew up
Girls never fall for a boy, instead, they choose a man. I meet a lot of guys who refuse to grow up. Their talks, their thinking, their acts are no better than a 10 years old boy. And that’s where the problem begins.
No girls would love to date a guy who talks and acts immature and takes everything lightly. These type of guys finds it hard to take decisions and fall short when it comes to handling relationship maturely. And, that’s indeed a big turn off for a girl.
Chances are they already know about this boyish side of yours and that’s why they have never considered you as a right prospect.
In short-’Be a man’ amongst the boys.
More calculative than a calculator
What if I tell you that you’re over calculative brain is the one killing all your chances of being someone’s boyfriend. It’s definitely wise to consider the depth of the river before jumping into it, but that can not be done by doing virtual calculations in mind.
Maybe you are someone who overthinks and over-calculates everything. These are the people who see the glass half empty instead of half-filled.
Over calculative nature of these people never lets them see anything beyond their limited mindset and safe approach towards things. They never set their foot out before calculating risks attached to their actions.
It’s hard for these people to take a risk and go beyond their comfort level, and they keep on unconsciously negating all their chance of enjoying a romantic relationship.
Being ignorant fool
Every person makes mistakes, but a fool makes it all over again n again and never learns from it. There are many guys who fall for the wrong person every time. Be it their choice or preference they lack the power to make the right choices.
It’s common that people go on pleasing the wrong girls and ignore the ones who might be a perfect match for them. They keep on opening the wrong lock with the right key, only to get depressed in the end. Don’t be that ignorant fool.
You continuously keep ignoring the right ones for the wrong ones. It’s time to look around, who knows if there is someone around you, who has feelings for you and expecting you to make a move
Being melodramatic dynamite
There are two kinds of people; ones who open out only to the necessary extent, and the ones who are waiting to burst their over-emotional baggage of melodrama.
Also, these are the guys who open up way too much on their first meeting with a girl. I do understand that honesty is a great deed and it’s good you feel that your prospect should know about your feelings and thoughts. But, there’s a right time and place for everything.
If just after your first meeting you go overboard with your feeling and emotions claiming your love towards the girl you meet, it’s a big turn off and too much to handle.
Guys keep on making this mistake and keep wondering why they can’t impress any girl even when they are honest and expressive with their feeling.
My way or highway
For the people dealing with their over authoritative behavior, it’s nearly impossible to date a girl and even if they succeed to impress a girl they can’t hold on to their relationship for very long. These people are dominating and want everything to work as per their wishes.
Most of the dominating people turn cold towards others feelings and see the world with their blurred mindset. A healthy relationship is where both partners enjoy the freedom of expression and love. Nobody would like to be with someone who keeps on daunting and directing them even on the smallest of things.
Chances are you might be dealing with these issues and everyone including your crush knows about this nature of yours. And that might be the reason they keep a safe distance from you.
Still hanging onto past
Past plays an important role in shaping up your present life. Most of us experience the world based on our past memories.
People with disturbed and abusive past, or someone who was constantly bullied, find it hard to get into relationships.
If all you have seen while growing up is your parents fighting on pity issues, bully and abusive friends or even emotional and physical abuse, then it surely had left some impact on your mind that explains how you see the world in present.
And these memories of past unconsciously keep on affecting present decisions and your relationship with other people.
If you are someone who can relate to it, then your problem is much bigger than not having a girlfriend.
A relationship gets the last spot on your priority list.
Some people find it hard to create a balance between work and personal life. They are too busy achieving things in life that they never realize the need of having someone by their side.
A relationship never makes up to their primary priorities. And later when they feel the need for a romantic relationship, it gets too late…
This is a problem with this generation; most of us are too occupied with things that don’t matter much. and we miss out on small things that can make a difference.
This may be the reason you never had a girlfriend because when you had a chance of having one, you were busy focusing on other things. And now when you are ready for a relationship, every crush of yours is getting married or having babies.
You don’t prefer pockets in your pants.
Nothing comes for free my dear. If you are someone who finds hard reaching out to your wallet even when you are on a date with your crush, then it’s clear that you are embracing your never-ending singlehood.
There are some basic etiquettes that you need to follow in order to win over a girl. Yes, I agree you believe in the philosophy of equality, but splitting your bill on every date is not something you should do to impress your crush.
Paying bill does not always mean that girls are after your money, it’s just basic things a girl expects out of you as a man.
Few things are self-understood and should be taken care of when you are expecting a yes from your crush. Girls love surprises, gifts, outing, and dinner dates and if you think your affection towards them is enough to make them fall for you, then good luck with that.
Maybe you never wanted one –
You might be thinking how stupid it is to even claim that;” If you haven’t had a wish to have a girlfriend, why would you even come here to get an answer”.
There might be a ton of reasons for that. Like, you want a girlfriend just because all of your friends have one. You might want a relationship as it looks cool to walk with a hot girl by your side. Or even, you wish to have it just for the sake of it as you have nothing else to do…
I think you can answer that better for yourself. There are chances you ‘want’ a girlfriend but don’t ‘need’ one. Maybe you are happy with life and got nothing to complain about, and want to have a girlfriend just to flaunt one. On the surface, it may seem like how badly you want to have a girlfriend, but deep down you are completely at peace with your singlehood. And it’s normal, our mind often plays these stupid tricks to us.
The best gift you can think of for a girl is PlayStation
Some guys never understand what a girl wants. Actually, nobody can understand that, but that’s a completely different story.
This might be a major reason you are single, as you have no idea how to treat a girl or how to please one. You are approaching them just based on your limited perception and knowledge about them. And then when they reject you, you blame them for being so complicated.
Most of the people never learn basic things in order to win a girl’s heart. You can never understand and please them unless you start to think like them(Not be like them, there’s a difference). It’s definitely not an easy task, but there is no way around if you come out of your singlehood.
Lost in translation
So, you had your first meeting with your crush and everything went smooth, you went to drop her home after dinner and she asked you if you would like to come in for a cup of coffee, and you politely reject the offer as having caffeine this late can disturb your sleep patterns. And, you bid goodbye and returned back home hoping for a next date with her.
But, that date never happens.
And, you pass your days wondering what exactly went wrong.
If you are that guy, then dude, please learn to read signs and take advantage of them. If these guys encounter a girl covered just with chocolate; they eat the chocolate and thank them later.
You might be one ruthlessly killing all your prospects of getting into a relationship with a girl.
AWW you momma’s boy
Some guys find it hard to make decisions for themselves. They depend on others to choose what’s best for them.
Be it the clothes they wear, the places they choose to go and even choose a friend for them, they always have someone who is making these decisions for them. And, girls don’t fall for these types of guys.
They love someone having traits of a leader and who knows how to take care of themselves. That’s the reason why the sports guys date the hottest chicks on the planet. And, that’s also might be the reason why no girl is interested in dating you.
Your biggest and only goal in life is to have a girlfriend.
Girls love attention, they love someone who treats them as their priority and cares for them like nobody else. But, they surely don’t want to be the only focus of someones’ life.
If you are someone whose life goal is to be someone’s boyfriend or a husband, then it’s high time you should turn a little practical and mature. Girls love guys who are high achievers, goal-oriented and serious about their work rather than having a guy whose only job is to please them.
Everything demands a perfect balance to work in sync and trust me, rarely any girl fall for guys having limited goals in life.
RESPECT? Now, what’s that S***
Last but not least, the only reason no girl ever showed interest in you simply because you haven’t learned to respect them. Some guys have no idea how to be around girls. They are snobbish around them.
They go on talking rubbish, disrespecting girls and won’t even mind crossing their line with their actions. And then they wonder why they are so unpopular amongst girls.
This is indeed serious mistake guys are making in order to attract a girl in their life. Every guy should learn how to respect a girl and to be in certain limits around them.
Well, It’s time to rectify your mistakes, here’s how-
Well, the good part is every mistake can be sorted out. It’s never too late to correct mistakes and make things to work in our favor. Attracting or even pleasing a girl is no rocket science. All you have to learn ate a few basic things and implement them to win your crush’s heart.
Nobody expects you to be a heart-throb or an expert in making a way to a girl’s heart. You can achieve it by simply making a few minor changes in yourself and your way you approach them. Winning a girlfriend is not as complicated as you think.
And that’s why exactly The Absolute Dater is here for. We won’t let you stay single for long. We have some amazing tips and advice for you that can really pull you out of your singlehood fast. Dog days are over my friend. Time has come for you to be your best and rock the world.
And, that’s the best part of making mistakes. You may not know what works, but you definitely know what doesn’t.
- 1 Never Had a Girlfriend? Here’s Probably Why
- 1.1 “I don’t think I am good enough”
- 1.2 I, me and myself
- 1.3 Looking for perfection – Waiting for all the lights to turn green
- 1.4 No-shave January, February, March…December… Repeat…
- 1.5 Too shy to ask –
- 1.6 Yay! Here comes The Shoulder-man
- 1.7 Fake it till you make it.
- 1.8 Overjoyed hormones
- 1.9 Part of a wrong tribe
- 1.10 Too girly – “Knows all the shades of pink by names”
- 1.11 You never grew up
- 1.12 More calculative than a calculator
- 1.13 Being ignorant fool
- 1.14 Being melodramatic dynamite
- 1.15 My way or highway
- 1.16 Still hanging onto past
- 1.17 A relationship gets the last spot on your priority list.
- 1.18 You don’t prefer pockets in your pants.
- 1.19 Maybe you never wanted one –
- 1.20 The best gift you can think of for a girl is PlayStation
- 1.21 Lost in translation
- 1.22 AWW you momma’s boy
- 1.23 Your biggest and only goal in life is to have a girlfriend.
- 1.24 RESPECT? Now, what’s that S***
- 1.25 Well, It’s time to rectify your mistakes, here’s how-