Last Updated on March 30, 2021
The world of sex and dating is changing. The days of protracted courtship ending in marriage are long gone. But so are the days of a man asking a woman if she wants to go to dinner, and the cinema, before several weeks of dating, to finally get to the good stuff. These days, anything goes.
Whether you are looking for a long-term partner, a friend with benefits, a fuck buddy, a kinky playmate, or a raunchy one-night stand, it’s all on the table.
We no longer have to fit ourselves into the pre-ascribed boxes of yesteryear. It doesn’t have to be an older, well-established, rich businessman, taking a younger woman out, paying for everything for her, and in return expecting complete submissiveness and all house-duties taken care of.
These days we can have man-on-man, woman-on-woman, thruples, pan-sexuals, heterosexual couples looking for a third member, women with house-husbands, and everything in between.
People have realized that relationships are about the person, rather than their status in society. It is an exciting time to be alive. It is a time when we are not just allowed, but rather we are encouraged to live out all our sexual fantasies. And for a lot of people, that means trying out an older woman.
The problem is, where do you find them? How do you find an older woman that is interested in you? Well, we’ve got the answers for you down below, both for looking IRL and for looking online. But first, let’s make sure we are all on the same page about who is a cougar, and why someone might want to be with one.
Who is a cougar?
Okay, so if you grew up watching American teen shows and movies, we are pretty sure that you are going to know what a cougar is. A young guy getting with an older woman is a popular storyline in all of them. It started with Pacey in Dawson’s Creek, who was having an affair with Tamara, aka Miss Jacobs, his English teacher.
The fantasy gained notoriety with the popularity of the MILF fantasy, as shown by Finch hooking up with Stiffler’s Mom in American Pie. But it didn’t stop there. You’ve got Luke and Julie Cooper in The OC, Nate with both Diana and Catherine in Gossip Girl, even Monica with Young Ethan in Friends.
Of course, the fantasy didn’t begin at the end of the 90s, you’ve only to look at The Graduate to realise that, but you take our point. It’s a popular dream that a lot of people want to engage with. These days, a cougar has an actual definition, beyond just being a woman who is looking for a younger man.
Specifically, a cougar is aged 40-49, while a puma is 30-39, and a jaguar is 50+. Of course, all of these terms are pretty sexist, as we don’t use the equivalent for men looking for younger women, at all. That’s posed as the norm, while women looking for younger men are apparently a rarity, despite their dominance in teen pop culture.
What is a cougar looking for?
If you want to find a cougar, then you need to think about who they are in real life, not just on the TV screen. This is important. If you want to find a cougar, then you need to make sure that they want to find you too.
Although they are often painted as desperate women going through a midlife crisis, these women often have a lot of people to choose from. They know what they want and they’re not going to settle for anything less.
For starters, cougars are women who have decided that they want a man who is younger than their peers. This means that they are looking for someone who is in the prime of their life. I.e. No beer belly and no hairy backs.
They want a young man who takes care of themself, dresses well, cares about the world, and hasn’t let himself go. Cougars are not looking to be with someone who cares more about their work than living their life. They want someone fun and impulsive, who’s up for a good time and isn’t worried about an important meeting the next day.
It’s also important to remember that they will be older than you, and be in a different place in their lives. This means that their bodies are likely to look different to your peers, and they may well have a different set of commitments.
They could have a busy, full-time career, and kids, and holiday-home abroad. They will be looking for you to fit in with their lives, not the other way around. And they won’t want to hear your whining about your deadlines, nor will they want to come over and crash at your share-house with pizza boxes all over the side. If you keep all of this in mind, you’ll have a much better chance of finding a cougar.
Why be with a cougar?
After reading about cougars so far, you might be starting to doubt yourself. What’s so great about cougars. Well the main two reasons are confidence and experience. Cougars know what they want in the bedroom, they know how you can get them off, and they know what’s going to work for you too.
They’ve been having sex since before your first wank, so they know what they’re doing. They can help guide you with how to be much better in the bedroom. Plus, they have probably tried heaps of moves you’ve never even heard of, so you can experiment a lot more, and without it being so messy.
Cougars are looking for a younger man for a reason. They don’t want to be with the older men. They will enjoy how young and fit you are. They’ll want to experiment with you doing all sorts of positions, and living out all kinds of fantasies. A cougar can bring you a sex life like no woman your age. Plus, they’re so much more confident about what they want and how to get it. Is there a bigger turn on than that?
Okay so you do need to be careful in some ways. Some of the women who are interested in a younger man might be carrying a lot of emotional baggage. They could have been going through something recently, and they might be looking for something different to what they had.
But they won’t be looking to you to deal with the baggage. They want you to help them escape from their mundane lives and show them what being young and free feels like.
Where to find cougars? – 2 Effective Ways
Okay, so now that we’ve established who cougars are, it should be easier for you to work out how to meet them. We are going to split it into two main sections. It’s pretty simple. You can either meet them in-person, or online. Let’s take a look first at meeting them in-person.
Meeting a cougar in person has a lot of advantages. For one thing, you know that they exist IRL. This is a pretty big plus, as you will see when we move onto the online section. It will also make it easier for you to judge who they are and what they’ve got going on in their lives.
Plus, it leaves room for good old fashioned chemistry. If you’re just a guy on a website, what’ve you got to offer them that makes you stand out? But if you meet them in person, you can show them how you differentiate from the men of their age, with your handsome smile, dazzling personality, and perfectly sculpted butt-cheeks. So where should you go to look for a cougar?
Remember that cougars are real women, so where do you think you would find women aged 40-49? Okay so you probably go to the gym, but do you ever try the Zumba classes? Have you thought about maybe joining a book club, a mixed-doubles tennis tournament, or taking up dance classes? These are stereotyped ideas, but if you want to find cougars, you need to go to the same places as them.
Then there’s the old fallback option of meeting cougars in bars. Nightclubs are probably less likely, but if you see a cougar there, you’ve got a better chance of hooking up with her than in most places where you can meet older women. In a bar, you can find plenty of great ways to start up conversation, and you’ll be able to ascertain pretty quickly whether or not she is interested in you.
The same can be said of meeting women in cafes or book shops. There are cougars all over the place, but you need to put yourself out there and start chatting to these women to try to make an impact. Remember that the more times you try, the better you’ll get, and the more likely it is that you’ll find the right cougar for you.
These days, looking for a cougar online is a pretty popular concept. But just because places say there are cougars, doesn’t mean you’ll find one. There are a lot of pretty terrible websites out there who will promise you a cougar, but they are basically just porn sites, or sites where you have to pay a lot of money.
When you go to a website, you need to ask yourself, does it look like a website that older women would want to join too, or is it just geared towards young men? If you genuinely want to meet a cougar, then make sure you go to trusted websites that will allow you to meet a real person, rather than just a place to take your computer for twenty viruses and a handful of bots.
Luckily for you, we’ve got a whole list of places that you can try, to make sure that you find a real cougar you can meet up with. So, most of the more popular dating apps will give you a decent run at finding a Cougar. We’re talking Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn.
They might not seem so obvious, but they all have an age-range. That means that if you set your range to higher and you find a woman, she’ll have put hers to as low as yours, so you’ve got a pretty decent shot there. This is probably your best bet, as these apps are predominantly aimed at younger people, so the chances are that she is on there looking for a guy like you.
But remember what we said before about looking for older women in the places where they would go? This means that you should also try the dating apps that are geared towards them, rather than you. We’re talking OK Cupid, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish.
These apps are all super popular, so they’ve got a lot of members, and most people tend to be a bit older too. The great advantage of being on these apps, apart from the high numbers of older women on there, is that you will look so much younger than the average man on there. You will really stand out. So any woman looking to be a cougar will be able to spot you more easily.
The other thing to remember about looking for cougars, as we mentioned for meeting them in-person, is that it’s basically a numbers game, and we don’t mean in terms of your age. The more women that you contact, or put yourself in front of, the more likely it is that they will notice you, and the more likely it is that you will find yourself a cougar.
And the great thing about doing it online is that after you’ve done one online profile, you can mostly use the same information and photos to do all of the others too. So if you want to really commit, you can be on all of the apps. These include Adult Friend Finder, Pure, Wild, Hud, Down Dating, and even Ashley Madison if your thing is married cougars.
So there you have it. The main thing to keep in mind when you are looking for a cougar is to remember who cougars are IRL. Think about what older women like doing, where they go, and what they are looking for. You need to provide what they can’t get from men their own age so that they choose you. And the other thing is to just put yourself out there in as many ways as possible. Do these things and we are sure that you will find the right cougar for you.