Single Gay at Christmas? Here’s How to Survive the Holidays Without Feeling Like Scrooge

If it’s looking like you’ll be a single gay at Christmas, you may be feeling a little blue. We totally understand: the festive season can be tough without a partner! Don’t worry, though, we’re here to help you have the best time possible and shape your holiday into one to remember.

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We want to help all our readers have a holiday season that elevates their spirits and makes them feel fulfilled. This goes for everyone, whether they’re single or coupled up! So, let’s break down our survival guide for getting through parties and presents as a single gay at Christmas.

A Little Bit of Mindfulness Goes a Long Way!

Yes, there are tons of things that can be frustrating, upsetting, or annoying during a family Christmas. However, there’s a crucial thing to bear in mind: at least you’re not doing it at your in-laws! As Anthony Gilét points out in an article for Attitude, “it’s definitely better than being stranded at your in-laws, trapped in a state of small-talk, minding your Ps and Qs. All while your father-in-law fills the room with flatulence.”

While we could all do without the mention of flatulence, Gilét does have a point. The holiday you’re having, despite its flaws, likely still involves a wealth of tasty food and drink, and plenty of time with your relatives. Though it may be hard to focus on those good points as a single gay at Christmas, just thinking them up can make a world of difference.

Our Survival Guide for the Single Gay at Christmas

• Make the Schedule Work For You: As Les Wright shared in an article for The Good Men Project, he spends Christmas Eve calling found family around the world, and Christmas Day eating with his extended biological family. If you’ve got a commitment to your biological family you can’t get out of, that doesn’t mean it ruins your Christmas. Just fit in the other things you want to do around that dinner!
• Don’t Be Afraid to Step Out: As we said right at the top of this article, being single during the holidays can be tough. If things do get a little too tough, then know that there’s no shame in stepping out for a little while! A moment of quiet in the next room and a long walk in nature both have their place when your family’s being annoying, so don’t be afraid to make them happen.
• Bring Distractions: If you know that you might be interacting with family members who upset you, distractions for them or for you can both be beneficial. Something simple like a board game can work wonders, or even red solo cups and ping pong balls to play egg nog pong. While this won’t outright solve the problem of your relatives, it can make it easier to put up with them if you’re both distracted.
• Gentleness and Rudeness Both Have Their Place: It can sometimes feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be gentle, kind, and sweet during the holiday season. While those attributes are brilliant, there’s also a time to be a little rude. The first time your aunt asks why you’re a single gay at Christmas, it’s ideal to be calm and kind with your words. On the fifth time, however, when she’s slurring her words a little, thanks to the Christmas sherry? At that point, you can be a little rude. Avoid full-on shouting matches, but don’t be afraid to be blunt if it’s needed.
• Focus on Your Gifting Game: The holidays can be stressful because of the things we can’t control: inclement weather, what others are gifting, and how relatives might act toward us. However, you can undoubtedly control your gifting game! Take your time to track down the best gifts you can think of, and mindfully focus on the gift-giving experience when things become a bit much.
• Neutral Territory Can Be Helpful: If you can, try to suggest that you do your family Christmas in a rental cabin or lodge. This has a price tag attached to it, so it may not be suitable for all. However, if you can get yourself and your family into a new location, the neutral space can put people off arguing. Since they’re not as comfortable as they would be in their own home, people tend to let more things slide. If you can’t afford a pricey rental, use your knowledge of the family to suggest someone’s house. The idea is to pick somewhere that your annoying relatives don’t feel comfortable enough to start a fight over you being a single gay at Christmas.

While not being coupled up for the holidays can be a little dispiriting, there’s no need to let it ruin things! Taking the time for self-care and mindfulness can soothe any and every single gay at Christmas.