Single at Christmas: How to Survive Without Feeling Left Out

Single at Christmas? It can feel like there’s a giant spotlight on the fact that you don’t have a “plus one”, but the holidays are actually an incredible opportunity to celebrate the season and yourself. While TikTok is filled with couples under the mistletoe, you can be out there living a life of freedom, empowerment, and meaning. 

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It’s time to shed the mindset that you need romance to complete your holiday season. When you focus on your emotional wellness and celebrate in a way you love, you can not only survive this Christmas season but also turn heads and thrive through it. 

Mindset Shifts: Why Being Single at Christmas is Actually a Gift 

We’ve all seen the tropey Christmas movies where it seems like everyone is partnered up – or trying to be. This seems to be our cultural narrative around Christmas, after all, it’s a holiday of togetherness and making memories, right? 

Sure, but this doesn’t mean you have to be partnered to enjoy the holidays. In fact, it’s time to change this entire mindset and narrative. For a deeper look at how people experience and manage loneliness at this time, see this Research on Emotions and Coping with Christmas Loneliness

It’s time to embrace your solo status and cultivate a Christmas experience that reflects you – your values, beliefs, dreams, and desires. This year, Christmas is about embracing self-love and seeing that being single can be one of the best Christmas blessings. 

Here are a few reasons why: 

• Instead of feeling left out of events your partner doesn’t want to attend, you have the freedom to go anywhere, anytime, and spend the holidays with the people who bring you joy. 
• The gift of not having to endure those awkward family introductions, and no nagging questions about when the wedding will be. 
• Zero pressure to perform the “coupledom” traditions, or choosing whose family you’ll spend the holidays with.
• Prefer spending a cozy night in with tea and a book instead of uncomfortable heels and obligatory socializing? You can choose when and where you celebrate. 
• The opportunity to strengthen other important relationships over the holidays – think more time with family, having a “friends-mas” celebration, or volunteering in your community. Some of the most important bonds formed over the holidays aren’t romantic at all. 

This Christmas, instead of asking yourself, “Why am I alone?”, reframe your mindset and think about everything you can do and all the ways you can enjoy the holidays now that you’re free and flying solo.

Be Bold with Empowering Holiday Rituals that Celebrate You 

The holiday season is rich with traditions and rituals that help us feel connected to our family, friends, and community. Whether you’ve recently ended a relationship or have desired to be in one, the traditions and rituals of the holidays can exacerbate those feelings of loneliness. 

But, before you give up on the holiday traditions completely, pause for a second and take a look around you. 

This is a great time of year to take inventory of the people you have in your life. This might be family, treasured friends, new acquaintances, co-workers, or just the feeling of community and belonging that the holidays bring. 

Sometimes, you need to be the one to reach out and spark the connection, but you have a place in holiday traditions, and you shouldn’t let a lack of a “plus one” hold you back from engaging and making memories. 

But you know what? It’s also ok if you just want to be by yourself sometimes, enjoy your own company, and reflect on the year past as you look forward to the year ahead. 

In fact, why not start a new bold holiday tradition to celebrate yourself? Here are a few ideas to consider. 

Write a Letter to Your Future Self 

Take every single one of the emotions you’re feeling this holiday season and put them on paper. Write a letter to your future self, and plan on opening it next Christmas. 

Writing a letter to yourself can be therapeutic as you share your vulnerabilities. Make sure to include what you’ve been thankful for this year, where you hope your life will be twelve months from now, and how beautiful your life is, without focusing on the absence of a romantic partner. 

Start a New Tree Decorating Tradition

This is your chance to decorate your space and that beautiful holiday tree with intention. Dig your grandma’s handmade decorations out of storage, or splurge on yourself and purchase new decor that reflects who you are. If you’re the crafty type, get to work creating ornaments and decorations that you absolutely love. 

Then, make an event out of it. Go solo or invite a couple of friends over. Pour your favorite drink, blast the cheesy Christmas music that you love without shame, and infuse your space with holiday cheer that reflects our personality. 

Make Your Own Advent Calendar Focused on Gratitude

There’s something about expressing gratitude with intention that just makes us feel less alone in the world. This is especially important during the holidays. 

One of the most cherished holiday traditions is the Advent Calendar, so why not use it to gift yourself the benefits of gratitude this Christmas? Beginning on December 1, write down one thing that you’re grateful for. This is a great opportunity to remind yourself of the wonderful parts of your life and lose the focus on being single. 

Dress Up for a Festive Photo Shoot 

Don’t miss out on the chance to fill your social media feeds with fun, festive holiday photos – of yourself! You don’t need a partner to splurge on a fancy Christmas photo shoot, and you can choose the theme that fits your mood, from classic to whimsy or kitsch. 

You’re beautiful and wonderful on your own, and a fun photo shoot will serve as memories of this for years to come. You can also share the photo shoot with your besties, family, or pets. 

Realistic Survival Skills to Survive Being Single at Christmas: Holiday Loneliness Tips for Women

• Set Clear Boundaries: No is a complete sentence, and you don’t owe anyone any explanations. If being single this holiday season is difficult for you, it’s more important than ever to protect your own peace and sanity. Don’t feel bad about this. You owe it to yourself. 

• Have an On-Call Support Squad: Gather a small group of your besties to be an on-call support squad, and get together with them regularly to share holiday cheer – and to vent. 

Social isolation and feelings of loneliness are actually widespread during the festivities, not just among singles. For practical insights and survey data, explore the Survey: Social Isolation at Christmas.

Even better if there are other singles in your group. There’s strength in numbers, and spending time with other strong singles is empowering. 

• Retrain Your Inner Voice: If you have a nagging voice inside that is telling you the holidays would be so much better if you had someone to share them with, it’s time to put a muzzle on it.  

• Curate a Welcoming, Comfortable Environment: Home should be your personal sanctuary, a place where you feel comforted and can escape from the outside world. 

This holiday season, consider adding a few extra touches to make your personal environment as warm and comforting as possible – whether you have an entire house to yourself, share a space with roommates, or are rocking the van life. 

Buy that extra soft throw, or put your grandma’s hand-knit blanket out on display. Fill your space with candles, colors, and details that you love. 

• Try a Social Media “Diet”: There are only so many pics of happy couples you can endure during the holidays. First, remember that life isn’t always as perfect as it seems, and that your life is no less wonderful than theirs. 

The best approach here is to just take a “lite” approach to social media during the holidays, and consider doing a complete fast and avoiding it altogether. 

• Fill Your Social Calendar: If you’re up for it, accept every invitation that comes your way, and don’t worry for a second about not bringing a date. All the extra activity will distract you, you’ll make great memories, and probably meet some new people, too!  

• Move Your Body with Intention: With so much going on during the holidays, it’s easy to just want to be a couch potato during your spare moments. Rest is important, but so is exercise and fresh air. 

Exercise is an instant mood elevator, plus, you’ll feel better about yourself after the holidays when everyone is trying to get back into their regular workout routines. 

• Unwrap a Pile of Empowering Books: Visit your local library or bookstore (online counts, too!) and load up on a heap of books with empowering messages. This way, you always have something perfect to read during the quiet moments. 

• Say No to Toxic Nostalgia: Stop romanticizing the past, and focus on today. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in memories of relationships and holidays past. 

• Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness: Holding on to hurts and grudges only hurts you in the end. Stop giving space in your head and heart to the people who have hurt you. Forgive them so that you can move on, without their memory constantly pulling you back into the past.  

• You’re Not Alone in Being Alone – Finding a Support Network: It might feel like you’re all alone during the holidays, but there is a massive community of other singles just like you out there – all enjoying life. This is a great time to connect with them, share experiences, give or provide support, and make some great new friends in the process. 

Thriving Single During the Holidays and Beyond 

You are confident, beautiful, and whole on your own. There’s no better time to celebrate this than the Christmas holiday season. Shifting the mindset, embracing holiday rituals and traditions that are personal and meaningful, and prioritizing your emotional wellness are the keys to a holiday season filled with joy and self-love. Being single at Christmas means it’s time to reclaim the joy of the season, not just endure it!