Last Updated on November 28, 2022
You don’t want to catch feelings with your hookup, or at least you have been thinking that is bad. But what if your hookup is the one that is catching feelings? That completely changes the game. When love is brewing from the “no string attached” relationship, you start to question what is the best to do about the situation.
Before you start jumping to conclusions and going crazy about the assumptions, you have to make sure your hookup indeed has feelings for you. For all you know, they are just being extra friendly and nothing more. You don’t want to embarrass yourself on this.
This article covers the telltale signs and what to do if your hookup has feelings for you. Keep all the tips in mind when dealing with this unexpected situation.
Signs Your Hookup Has Feelings for You
1. They Text You a Lot
It is more than texting for a booty call. You will notice that they are always on their phone. Regardless of the time, they will give you an instant reply. Even when they are swamped at work, they will find a way to let you know there might be a delay with their replies.
Normally, FWB don’t regularly text each other. There is only a need to text each other if you are planning to hook up that day. Everything else that you do in your daily life is your business. They have no right to be frequently involved.
2. They Ask You a Lot of Questions About Your Life
They are taking an interest in your life when they shouldn’t. Why would your hookup care about your childhood stories when all you have is regular Wednesday sex? If your hookup starts digging deep into your past, they are hooked.
Sometimes, they will ask questions about your feelings towards different things as well. Most FWB prefer to keep things private as there should be a boundary drawn so things don’t get too awkward. When that line gets muddy, that ship is already sinking on their side.
3. They Want To Stay the Night
Whether it is you coming to their place or them coming to yours, they want to stay the night. Not everyone can sleep tight with someone they are not comfortable with. After that amazing sex that leaves you physically drained, they give you a reason why they should stay. Perhaps it is the long commute home, the longer sleep hours you can get, or just their pure desire to stay.
No matter what, always remember that hookups don’t stay the night in the place you just had sex unless they like you. Under most circumstances, unless there is a monstrous tornado reaping across the country, they will choose to go home to get their beauty sleep. If they choose to stay, that is because they want to spend more time with you.
4. They Call You
Every once in a while, you get a call from them. The content is irrelevant to your life. They are talking about a silly thing someone did at work, how they got into an argument with their parents, and how excited they are about an upcoming concert.
These phone calls do not add any value to your life, given that you do not reciprocate. But for them, a sense of dependency is there. You are no longer just a hookup they have. You are someone they want to share things with. Whether it is happy or sad, they want you to know immediately.
5. They Introduce You to Their Friends
You don’t usually introduce your hookup to your friends and hang out together just to keep things simple. It complicates things when people you are close with are involved. Hookups are personal things that you may not necessarily want all your friends to gossip about. Besides, if you don’t see a future with your hookup, you don’t let them hang out with your friends.
If they are eager to make you hang out with their friends, they see you as more than a hookup. Perhaps in their mind, they are simply trying to be friendly. But this is something that hookups shouldn’t do. A hookup should be strictly physical — with no emotional involvement. Infiltrating someone’s friendship circle is a big commitment.
6. You Have Met Their Parents
Talk about fulfilling the partner duty. Under any circumstances, parents are strictly off-limits. Most of the time, you wouldn’t even introduce a current partner to yours until you want to be serious with them. Meeting the parents is a huge deal, especially when you are sleeping together.
When they invite to their family BBQ this weekend, you may think they are just being nice because their other friends will attend too. But you are not just a friend, not exactly. The dynamics changed when you decided to hook up. Now, you are in that murky water where you are unsure of where you stand.
Likewise, for your hookup as well. Meeting the folks is a big deal because they will be dealing with the uncertainties. They see a lot in you and believe you are someone they want to commit to.
7. You Go Out for Real Dates Without Sex Afterwards
The whole nature of your relationship is entirely built out of physical lust. When that is gone, you should look out for it. You will start noticing that they plan in detail about everything you do as if the date is more important than sex. They want to go to the cinema together, go ice-skating, and make a lovely meal at home for you.
While these activities can set the right mood, it seems more like they want to actually date you than to just hook up with you. This is more prominent and easy to see if all these activities aren’t followed by sex afterwards.
After a long and fun day, they are too tired for anything else and want to go home. If there are more days where you go out for dates instead of getting laid, you are doing couple activities that hookup buddies don’t do.
8. They Remember the Small Things About You
“Oh, doesn’t this photo look like your grandma’s place?” “I got you a red velvet cake.” “I got you a pair of gloves because you don’t like your hands to be cold.”
Surprisingly, your hookup remembers little things about you that you don’t even remember sharing. They take everything to heart and give you the attention like you are an important person in their life. Sometimes, things they remember about you make you feel warm and sweet. No matter how smart they are, they really don’t need to invest the energy to learn everything about you. They do it because they want to and because they like you.
9. They Get Jealous
Now, how you operate this FWB relationship and how you define it are totally up to you and your partner as long as there is complete honesty. Some people are open to hooking up with multiple people at the same time. Others only want to exclusively have one hookup buddy minus the responsibilities and commitment. Whatever you choose, it is fine. There is no right or wrong. Just make sure your hookup buddy is cool with it also.
However, even if you are kind of exclusive in your FWB relationship, there is nothing that should stop you from exploring your chance. You are not in a committed relationship. You are free to flirt with and date anyone you want. And your hookup’s response says it all. If they get jealous about the fact that you are flirting with others and possibly considering seeing others, they are super into you.
The thing is, it is never difficult to find a hookup. But it can be a challenge to find someone you like. They have trouble letting go and blessing you because they have invested so much in you emotionally. They refuse to accept this was never a thing between you and them.
10. They Talk About Your Relationship and Make Plans
Possibly the biggest telltale sign that they are into you. You hear them talk about future plans casually that include you here and there. At first, you may neglect the importance of it because it sounds so insignificant.
After a while, you start realizing maybe something is going on. They seem so enthusiastic when talking about future plans with you that it doesn’t sound like spur of the moment anymore. It looks like they are really going for it.
They want things to work. Yet, they are not sure how to bring it up that they want something romantic and not just meaningless sex anymore. That’s why they are incorporating promises and visions into your casual conversations and seeing how you react. The longer you indulge in it, the more they will think you are on the same page. Hence, they will suggest more plans together.
11. They Do Things for You
There is a difference between being nice and taking it too far. You two are not strangers after all. It is normal that when you get upset about things, you share with your hookup because it is possibly the easiest. Then, it is understandable that your hookup will be there to listen to you as a friend.
They will consult with you and hear about your hardship. Despite their kindness, most hookups won’t take it one step further. If your hookup is actively looking for solutions to your problems or trying to fix them for you, they are drawn to you. Your happiness is their happiness.
While it is human nature to be there for someone who needs it, it is totally unnecessary to fix things for someone else, particularly if you are not romantically linked to them. Seeing all those things they try for you, it is quite obvious how they are feeling. People don’t go the extra mile for someone they don’t care about.
12. You Feel It
There is no better way to put it than this. If you are confused and staying up all night wondering about how your hookup feels about you, then it is quite likely that they have feelings for you. Your hookup should never leave you going left and right thinking about feelings and emotions. If that happens, then feelings are involved.
You shouldn’t even be worrying about catching feelings. It is something that you feel in your gut. If your instinct tells you this relationship is no longer purely physical, then you should start thinking about what to do about it.
What To Do if Your Hookup Has Feelings for You?
To be fair, this question shouldn’t even come first. The most important thing is how you feel about your hookup. You should always put yourself first.
- Do you have feelings for your hookup as well?
- Can you envision a life with them and being in a committed relationship together?
- Are you truly ready for a relationship now?
Unfortunately, these questions can only be answered by yourself. There will never be enough references to guide you. Once you have figured out your feelings, it is time to handle the situation with grace.
If you feel the same way, perfect. Talk to your hookup so you can get started with proper dating already since you both clearly want it. If you are deterred by whatever concerns or constraints you have, talk it out and see how you can work your way around it so everyone is comfortable.
Establishing a proper relationship with your hookup is feasible, but it takes work. When you were just hooking up, you were probably also seeing others. But once you are in a committed relationship, you need to change that and make everything exclusive. You need to sit down with yourself and ask if you are ready for this,
Understand what you are giving up and what you are reaping from a relationship. Don’t jump into something because of the heat of the moment. Only do it when you feel comfortable and have faith that this is what will make you happy.
There is a reason why you were just hookup buddies. Although it is totally okay for things to change, make sure the change comes from the heart and not from pressure.
Remind Them You Want To Be Casual
If you don’t share the same feelings, then you should let your hookup know before they are in too deep. You don’t have to confront them and break their heart. You can slightly bring it up that you just want things to be casual because you are not seeking a relationship. Gently remind them you don’t want to complicate things by getting feelings involved.
Put it in a nice way so no one is hurt. There is no reason to crush your hookup’s heart. Keep it as civil as possible. If your hookup confronts you about it, be straight and firm. Don’t let your hookup pressure you into caving. If you don’t want a relationship, you don’t. The worst thing that can happen is to find another hookup. Be polite but also be clear about your stance on this.
Where To Find the Perfect Hookup?
With all the drama you have to go through with your hookup, it is exhausting and even traumatizing to get back into the game. You want to be FWB but someone always wants just a little more. While that is annoying, there are ways that you can ensure the hookups you get are of the highest quality.
Online dating is surely the best way to find a hookup. It is easy to guarantee both sides are looking for the same thing. There is no drama, no weeping for unreturned love, and no cloudy uncertainties.
Of all the online dating platforms out there, Adult FriendFinder is one of the best when it comes to finding casual dates and hookups. Its 90 million members are known to be wild and chill. If you just want to hook up, that’s exactly what you will get.
Ashley Madison is another platform that you should definitely tip your toes in. Members there strictly seek discreet affairs that you can rest assured no one wants to take things any further. What’s more important is members will not bombard you with messages and calls. You will only get a text if they are free tonight.
If you don’t want the drama, make sure you are finding your hookup buddies the right way.
Dealing with hookups can be tricky. Not everyone can handle sex without feelings. The uncertainties can leave you hanging.
Now, with all the about signs, you can clearly tell how your hookup is thinking about this relationship. Follow this guide and don’t forget to sign up on the best hookup sites to find yourself some fun dates!