10+ Clear Signs She’s Just Pretending to Love You: Uncovering the Truth
by John Santana
Relationships aren’t perfect. Sometimes your partner might still love you but not be in love with you anymore. This does not necessarily mean you have to drop your partner right away or that you have to part ways. If you notice that your partner is doing the things mentioned, it would be a good idea to speak to them.
If you are seriously concerned, you can speak to a couples counselor. This article is largely based on the information on common signs of female partners pretending to be in love. That does not mean that if your partner is a man, these signs are not red flags.
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Signs She is Pretending To Love You: Our Shortlist
1. She Doesn’t Pay Attention To Your Feelings
It is always important to feel validated in your emotions. If you feel that your girlfriend is only paying attention to appearances and not to your feelings, this is a red flag. A good mark of a healthy relationship is if you can speak plainly and have an honest conversation with your girlfriend and have your feelings understood. If your girl is not listening to how you feel, this is not a good sign for your relationship.
2. She Seems Bored or Distracted When You Are Alone Together
Your girlfriend or wife shouldn’t always have to pay you attention, but if you feel that she’s not paying you attention anymore, something could be wrong. Actions speak louder than words, and inaction is a good indication she’s pretending to love you.
A good sign of this is if, when you are supposed to spend quality time together, she is instead on her phone or doing something else. It may not always be easy to spend time with your girl. If you feel like your girlfriend has become emotionally unavailable towards you but still is emotionally available to other people, this is a sign of her faking love.
3. She’s More Secretive and Doesn’t Tell You Much About Her Day Anymore
In healthy long-term relationships, it’s important to be open and honest. If you now feel as if she’s; hiding things such as her phone when you’re near, doesn’t tell you much about her day, and doesn’t talk to you, these are more red flags. If you once had a loving relationship and you feel like now she rarely tells you anything, this is a sign she’s falling out of love.
If you feel as if your girlfriend has started to hide things from you, such as going out with friends, this is a bad sign. Before you do anything brash like accusing her of seeing the guys, it is a good idea to try to talk with her about how you’re feeling.
4. She Does Not Express Her Love To You Openly Anymore
One of the most difficult love situations is feeling your partner slowly remove themselves from your life and no longer give you much affection in public or around other men. If she isn’t affectionate in public, then there’s a good chance she isn’t really into you. Women are generally more affectionate with the men that they love.
If she’s in love with you, she’ll put her arms around you, hug you, kiss you, and touch your arm or hand when you’re in public. If your girl is not showing affection like this with you in public, but she used to, then this is a huge sign she’s probably not into you.
Perhaps if she’s pretending to love you, she might have other men that she’s been flirting with and she doesn’t want those men to see you holding her hand in public. Obviously, if you think that this might be the case, then it’s not a good sign, and you need to initiate an honest conversation with her.
5. She Isn’t Interested In Your Life
If she’s not interested in your life, then she may be pretending to love you. Women are naturally curious creatures, and they want to know everything about the man they love. A woman who loves you will ask you questions about your life and show genuine interest in what you have to say.
If she never asks questions about your life, then it shows that she’s not really interested. She might ask superficial questions here and there, like “how was your day,” but she never takes the conversation further because she’s not really interested. This is sadly another clear sign she
6. She No Longer Appreciates The Things You Do For Her
If she takes it for granted that you will always be there for her, so she doesn’t bother showing any appreciation when you go out of your way to do something nice for her. She expects you to be there for her and to do nice things for her.
This shows that she’s not really grateful or appreciative of the things that you do for her. If a woman genuinely loves you, she will always make an effort to show gratitude. It’s not uncommon for anyone to start taking kind gestures for granted, so you should speak to her. If the problem persists, perhaps speak to a certified relationship coach or family therapist.
7. She Doesn’t Want The Relationship To Get Serious
If a girl wants the relationship to stay casual, then there’s a good chance she does not see you as a serious option for her. Girls who only want to stay casual are girls who are “playing the field” and looking for as much fun and excitement as possible. This is a very clear sign she is pretending to love you.
If she claims that she loves you, but she’s seeing other guys at the same time, then I’m sorry to say that it’s probably not real love.
8. She Doesn’t Care About Your Future
Most girls want to know what a man thinks of their future. If she loves you, why would she not see herself with you in the future?
But if she is only interested in her own life and doesn’t care what you’re thinking of the future, then good chance she’s not in love with you. If she loves you, she will want to take care of you and make sure that you are happy and safe in the future and that your goals and priorities align. If she doesn’t love you, then she probably feels she doesn’t need to put any effort into hearing about your future plans.
9. She Is Not Very Loyal
If she’s not loyal to you because she’s either sleeping with other men, or she is only with you as a last resort and doesn’t really care about your relationship. If you think she’s seeing other people, it may be the best thing for your emotional health to not stay in the relationship.
If a woman truly loves a man, then she will be loyal to him and only him. She won’t show any interest in other men and will only want to be with him for the rest of her life. You’ll be her first option when she wants to go out, and she won’t flirt with other men when she’s in your presence.
10. She Strives To Change You
When someone truly loves you, they will accept you the way you are because this is how they fall in love with you from the first beginning. They loved your personality, your style, your laugh, etc. They’ll often show respect for your interests and concern for everything you care about. If she is trying to change things about you, especially your hobbies, which friends you see, etc. without good reason, this is far from true love.
A healthy relationship is where both partners aim to grow and develop together. And that comes with a few changes and sacrifices. It’s a good thing to let go of our bad habits or anything that hurts the other partner to move forward.
11. She’s Unattached To You
The most apparent sign of someone that doesn’t even like you is when they’re not interested in you. Such as if they’re not interested in anything about you, your interests or your orientations in life, or your friends, etc. Even they’ll often prioritize unnecessary things over you.
This doesn’t mean that women should be bending to your every whim, but if your girlfriend feels only like a friend you speak to now and then there is a definite problem.
12. She Doesn’t Get Jealous When You Talk With Other Girls
When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to feel a little jealous sometimes. If your partner never gets jealous, it could signify that they’re not invested in the relationship. Why would they be bothered if you talked to other people if they didn’t care about you?
Jealousy is often a sign of insecurity, so if your partner never feels jealous, it could be because they don’t believe that you’re truly theirs.
13. She Doesn’t Want To Introduce You To Her Friends And Family
This could be a sign that she does not take the relationship seriously. If she’s not ready to introduce you to the people who are important to her, it’s most likely because she doesn’t see the relationship lasting.
It could be because she’s ashamed of you or doesn’t want her friends and family to know about you. Either way, it’s not a good sign. If she’s not ready to introduce you to the people important to her, you may wonder if she’s really in love with you.
14. She Shows up When She Needs Something From You
If she mostly only talks to you or shows you affection when she’s getting something from you, she’s using you, not loving you. This can be clear when you go on dates and get groceries, does she expect you to pay? A similarity in selfish partners also appears if you haven’t given yourself physically to them and they start to withdraw from you.
Another warning side of this is if the type of dates she suggests are always expensive ideas. This love is very shallow and difficult to maintain as it will drain your energy and money.
Conclusion
Firstly, if you believe that your partner truly loves you, consider just a few minutes with a professional relationship coach or couples therapist. You may be able to fix what is broken, but if you feel that the romantic relationship you once had is different, you should talk with your partner.
If you feel that this may be too difficult a conversation to bring up, speak to a friend or your family and ask what they think. You might find your family will have tailor-made advice.
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