10 Plus Strong Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore (And What To Do About It)
by John Santana
At the risk of sounding like a “nice guy,” every “sign she doesn’t love you anymore” article seems to be written from the perspective of a jealous control freak who wants to keep their girl from spending time with any guy out there. It’s kind of sad. But everyone has a point where they feel like their girl doesn’t care anymore.
To be fair, a healthy romantic relationship is hard. Maybe she’s fallen for some other guys. There really are obvious signs she doesn’t love you anymore. If this is your first long-term relationship, then don’t worry. You’ll understand more emotional reactions with time. The best way to read warning signs is to burn a bit.
We’ve all been in the same boat, so let’s name a clear sign or two and get you the girl you deserve.
12 Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore
1. She’s Talking About Having an Open Relationship
We’re not dissing polyamory here. You can certainly have a committed relationship that involves expressing a consensus, non-monogamous relationship with others. Sometimes it might even fix your relationship problems. But this only works when both parties fully consent and are up for it. And when it doesn’t, it rarely leads to passionate makeup sex.
If a long monogamous relationship turns into an open relationship, then you might be looking to spice it up with something new. But for this to work, you’ll need some clearly defined and healthy boundaries, or else you’ll be experiencing relationship problems soon.
Your first thought at this could be, “I get to date other girls? Score!” but remember that an open relationship goes both ways. It’s no cause for concern when she’s flirting with old or new guy friends, and it might not be that big of a deal. But there can be signs in this that show she’s not in love anymore.
When you have an exclusive relationship that suddenly changes to polyamorous, then start paying attention. One red flag is that she’ll prioritize the other over you. You might see she’s spending time with other guys more than you. Or even worse, your partner complains and can constantly compare you to her other “guy friends.”
2. She Criticizes You
If she’s angry that you can’t do anything right all the time, then you might have a red flag that things aren’t going so well anymore. It might at first seem that you need to examine yourself and take care of whatever’s bothering her properly. But if how she’s feeling doesn’t change with you, then there might be something else that’s the matter.
A loving relationship is filled with compromise and change. But trash-talking is a definite warning sign. Even if she’s had a bad week, throwing insults is not how you treat human beings, let alone your partner.
It might be hard to notice at first. Always being compared to another person or being dragged through the dirt is obviously going to tear down your self-esteem. It can lead to constant self-blame, and most guys can come up with all the justifications as to why they deserve to be treated that way.
Good communication between people is healthy but difficult in a situation like this. If you are ever uncertain and can’t bring the issue up yourself, then try to ask your male friends for advice.
3. She’s Avoiding You
Women tend to have their own life. Shocker, we know. But how can you tell the difference between the end of the honeymoon phase and when she’s no longer interested? How do you know you’re not just overbearing from your woman’s perspective?
This is one of those things that grow into your relationship feel as you get more experienced in the game. But there is more than one sure sign that she doesn’t care anymore.
Having a job is one thing, but prioritizing another person over you has a few different signs. You don’t have to keep tabs on your girlfriend, but one bad sign is that she has no reason for being away from you for extended periods of time.
Physical interaction is one marker, but with the march of technology, regular texting is another way people show commitment, and that doesn’t fall under avoidance. One-word texts, on the other hand, can be a good sign that something is wrong.
Another bad sign is constant excuses. Having a girl who stopped talking is one thing, but having them come up with lousy excuses or when contradicting themselves is just insulting.
4. She Seems Permanently Closed Off
If someone is obviously into you, then she’ll initiate conversations more often. When we end the honeymoon phase, it might seem like the spark is gone. For a relationship to grow, the spark, the hottest and brightest part, will give way to the longer-lasting flame. But what if there’s nothing after the spark?
When you get to know someone, you’re likely to talk about the goals you have in life. In the early stages of a relationship, people share almost everything about each other. This fades over time, but healthy couples try to learn new things about themselves with their partner.
What happens when they just don’t share anything anymore? What if there’s no emotional connection? What if they stop being physically intimate? Whether it’s anger or just drifting away from each other, it all still hurts the same way.
5. She Seems Less Interested in Improving the Relationship
A healthy relationship is ever-changing. Compromise and growth walk hand in hand, and both partners will eventually do so, no matter how perfect your own relationship might seem. There will come a time when your partner’s weaknesses and flaws become overbearing. The worst thing for a relationship and a definite red flag is when she just accepts it without even trying to change it.
You’ll notice it when your conversations start to peter away and become few and far between. A healthy conflict has both partners taking personal responsibility for the harm they caused and trying to improve. But when neither of you does anything to change it and would rather let the bad habits roll, then your girl will begin to lose interest in the relationship.
This can bleed into other aspects of your daily life. Chores will stay unfinished, important events will be skipped, and something as simple as saying you love each other will just disappear. One example is that she might ignore any pleas to see a relationship coach.
6. She Appears More Secretive
Does your girl seem overly protective of her phone? Does she seem irritated if you ask her where she’s going? Changing routines is a regular part of our lives. There are some small things that come up that don’t require you to keep constant tabs on her.
Trust is an important part of a relationship. Your girl is entitled to her privacy, and knowing someone keeps secrets is worse than finding out about it later. Unless you trust her, your communication and personal life will erode. But agitation and antagonism are bad signs. You can sometimes even tell when it’s just an excuse she’s giving you.
Secrecy undermines trust. If you are planning to take this relationship seriously, then some boundaries will eventually need to be broken down, whether it’s with a relationship coach or not. Just remember she is entitled to her own social life.
7. She’s Suddenly Rationing Physical Contact
If neither of you can maintain eye contact, let alone physical contact, for more than a few minutes, then you don’t need an internet list article to tell you she doesn’t love you anymore.
These things can happen slowly over time and can come as a shock when you finally realize it. Suddenly losing all physical intimacy, however, is a major sign that something is wrong.
Ask yourself when was the last time you really paid attention to her body language. What might seem like an introvert with low self-respect could actually just be an ex-girlfriend waiting to happen.
You might be one for less physical affection, and that’s fine. But affection comes in many forms. It could be something as small as not hugging you goodbye anymore. Everyone’s relationships with their partners vary. In many cases, intimacy and physical attraction decrease over time. The small things play a crucial factor in what keeps a good relationship going.
The main takeaway is that a sudden change in intimacy without explanations is considered a red flag.
8. Your Intuition Tells You It’s Not a Phase
Relationships aren’t an exact science. You can follow every step in this article to the letter and then still miss some warning signs. Sometimes you have to follow your gut feeling to determine where your relationship is heading.
This heavily depends on your self-esteem. If you have poor self-respect, then your intuition could easily be swayed by external forces like family members or even the smallest amount of emotional validation from your girl.
These internal warning bells can also be thrown out of whack by your girl’s male friends. You might think she doesn’t love you anymore, but then she’s spending time with an old friend. Or maybe you spend time with her male friends, and you end up trusting them too much.
If your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore, she will stop focusing on your relationship. If you have been together for a while, then it will come as a change to your own life patterns.
9. She Shows Less Interest in Spending Time with Family and Friends Together
After committing, it is common for you to meet the family members of the person you love. After all, a lot of traditionalist folk like to include the extended family in their future plans, even if it’s just to invite them to your wedding.
Licensed marriage aside, if a person is proud to be in a relationship, they are usually excited to have their partner foster some goodwill with their family.
You can extend this sentiment to adopted family, in the sense that they would like for you to get along with their closest friends. Guy friends or other women in her life will form part of your combined friend group.
If your girl has stopped letting you spend time with her family or hates the idea of you growing fond of her friends, then that’s a major sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.
10. She’s Always Out Late With Her “Girls”
“How is this a sign that she doesn’t love you anymore?” you might be asking. After all, you don’t have to spend time with each other constantly. So there shouldn’t be a problem when your girlfriend hangs out with her female friends. The keyword in the tile, however, is “always.”
Women should have a healthy circle of female friends who provide emotional support and entertainment that you, frankly, can’t give on your own. But that doesn’t mean that’s the only people she needs in her life. If she’s canceling dates and time together to hang out with her friends, then that’s a sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.
Now the blame can possibly lie with her friends. A toxic friend circle can have destructive consequences on your relationship.
11. She Talks Negatively About You To Her Friends
This point can easily verge on the paranoid, where something as simple as eye contact can be twisted into sneaking suspicions.
It’s ultimately impossible for you to get her friends to share their thoughts with you directly. If you know her friends well enough, then you might be able to pick up on their changes in mood around you.
If your partner’s easily influenced by her friends, then she could change her opinion of you on a dime. It could be small things like how she feels about your diet or just the way you keep eye contact with her. The red flag lies with the suddenness of it all.
12. She Avoids Discussions of Your Future Together
When things start out, you’ll have long talks about your life together. You might have both planned out your future together on a whim and maybe changed it in favor of something more fantastical.
When the honeymoon phase ends, it changes to more serious talks about your future. Living arrangements, holiday trips, or changing work schedules to spend more time together. Maybe you even talked about getting each other promise rings. But then something changed.
Maybe her plans for the future only involve herself. That might sound obvious, but it can be subtle. She could talk about her plans to move and not mention your relationship at all.
Or, she might outright change the topic whenever it comes up. She could seem utterly disinterested when your plans for the future come up. These are just two ways how things could go south.
Finally
These are just 12 possible examples of how she could be losing interest in you. The experience ultimately speaks for itself. You can ask friends, counselors, and internet articles all day, but none of them will ever make up for learning the ropes firsthand.
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