signs-of-a-cheating-husband

19 Signs Of A Cheating Husband : 19 ways to know

by John Santana

“What are the signs your husband is cheating?”

Do you smell Chanel on your husband’s collar and when asked, he replies it’s just his office’s room freshener?

Do you see him sneaking out of the room to pick up the call of a contact saved with the name “potato vendor”?

It’s quite natural to smell something fishy when your husband behaves so strange.

Does his office really use female scents as a sanitizer or the lipstick marks on his shirt are telling a different tale?


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For a woman who thought she was settled with the love of her life, this is the worst nightmare.

If you are here, I’m really sorry to know what you’re going through.

Maybe, his infidelity is just in your mind. Maybe, your worst nightmare is getting true.

Whatever it is, you have to be absolutely sure before the final confrontation.

You have to keep a note of all the signs that a cheating husband shows and find him out on your own.

What are the Signs of a Cheating Husband

1. Day-by-day he is getting unrecognizable – even visually

He-looks-better
Photo by Yogendra Singh from Pexels

As if his changed mannerisms in bed and day-to-day activities were not enough, he is changing his looks too.

He is working so much on his looks nowadays that if you see him after an interval of 6 months, you will not recognize if he’s the same man you married once.

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It’s okay if he was always concerned about his appearance and has found the right hairstyle just now.

But if he always kept his appearance at bay and is now hugging it like bae, it’s a matter of suspicion.

Isn’t it surprising that the man who was always found on the couch with a remote in his hands is now lifting dumbbells at the gym?

You can always smell cologne on his shirt now. But on Wednesdays and Saturdays, he has started putting on the expensive ones.

When a husband becomes overly aware of his appearance, you are not the only one sleeping with him anymore. This is a sign of cheating.

A cheating man brings changes in his looks to impress the co-worker at his workplace, or to be in sync with the hot bombshell he is getting to sleep with.

His effort to be fit without any apparent reason is to impress the young girl he is secretly seeing.

It’s totally fine if he dresses up for important meetings and events. He is definitely cheating if it’s unusual and out of the blue.

2. There are lies about little and trivial things

Have you ever found your husband lying about petty things?

“Honey, I have paid for the electricity bill”

In the evening, there is electricity everywhere except yours.

Don’t be surprised when this useless lie changes into –

“Honey, I was just hanging out with my boys at the 5-star hotels”

While he was busy banging some hot chick, he met a few days ago.

A man who spits lies with every sentence he utters is dangerously prone to cheating you.

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3. He has started picking fights for no reason at all

Men are not as great as women when it comes to multitasking.

So, when it comes to cheating, it requires him to juggle his time between two women.

On one hand, he has to book rooms and buy gifts for his mistress. On the other hand, he is handling things so you don’t get heed of his cheating.

He has to handle his mistress who is demanding more time from him.

He also has to handle your interrogation about why he is not giving you enough time.

This creates turmoil in his mind and the poor man is not able to handle all these responsibilities.

Does this mean he accepts his mistake and stops seeing the other woman? NO!

Instead, he will get back to you with fights.

The cheating husband will find stupid reasons to pick up fights.

The things he loved once or has no problem with before will start bothering him.

He will start criticizing the way you look, the way you dress, the way you talk, and the way you are.

Suddenly, he will have problems even with the way you chew or do other things that should not matter otherwise.

These reasons will be used to get out of the chair and slam the main gate on your face.

While he fights with you so he can sneak out of the house easily, it’s also a part of his defense mechanism.

Somewhere deep in his heart, he is guilty of cheating on his wife.

And to keep going with the affair, he finds faults in his wife and the marriage so he can easily go on cheating without any guilt.

4. A new friend circle has made its way into his life

New-friend-circle
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“What’s the need to worry about a new social circle” You may ask.

To let you know, a new social circle means a new set of men and girls to hang out with.

He doesn’t know all of them that well yet. Nor do they.

This is a golden opportunity for the little cheater husband to find his next victim and trap her in his claws.

If he has cheated on you once in the past, the cheater in him can’t be changed. He has just grown conscious of his cheating actions.

A new group of people also ensures that no one knows you which makes it even easier to cheat.

What do you think about the idea of meeting his new group one day and seeing his reaction?

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5. You are getting a lot of attention and affection

I know you will ask me how the care and love of a man can be a red flag of cheating?

Then my dear, don’t you remember the time when you watched porn for the first time and spent a few extra hours at the church the other day?

The Little you thought it was a sin to indulge in something like this. Your cheating husband goes through the same but more intense emotions.

Somewhere deep in his heart, he knows that what he is doing is wrong.

His awful actions make him feel guilty. His unexpected extravagant love is just a by-product of it.

This acknowledgment doesn’t mean that he will stop cheating on you. No.

He will keep sleeping with this woman. He will still lure her with expensive gifts while you are struggling with the monthly budget.

Instead, to make it up, he will shower you with all his love and attention.

He will be great. But the whole time, he will be faking it.

Maybe, he loves you as the mother of his kids. Chances are, even that hasn’t forced the cheater to keep his love alive.

He will do the unexpected by helping you with the chores, bringing you flowers, kissing you goodbye, and spending more time with the kids.

While a good husband does it all since the beginning of the marriage, a cheater will discover these loving mannerisms when he is sleeping with another woman.

It’s also possible that your husband has decided to mend the marriage by treating you well.

In that case, just look in his eyes.

Can he maintain eye-contact with you?

Or he just looks away instantly as he doesn’t want you to peep into his mind and find out the reality?

6. Your husband can’t stop talking about another woman

“You know, Olivia is so funny…!”, “Olivia says I look good in a red shirt”, “In Olivia’s hometown…” Olivia, Olivia, and Olivia!

Some husbands are street smart. While some others can’t hide the excitement of their bald scalp finding a young brunette to sleep with.

Starting from infatuation, his obsession with this woman can reach the stages of cheating or is already past the entrance.

Cheating is not just physical, but it’s mental too.

Your husband might not be cheating on you yet physically, because the woman he has set his eyes upon doesn’t return his advances.

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7. You no longer enjoy access to his phone

You-cant-access-his-phone
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

It’s common for married couples to share phone and social media passwords.

Don’t take it on yourself. After marriage, many husbands propose this idea to their wives.

When he will cheat, he will take a U-turn like never before.

Suddenly, he demands privacy and his phone asks for it as well.

The passwords are abruptly changed. He too changes rooms while receiving calls.

You wonder what it can be that he couldn’t talk about in front of you.

I think you know…

Talking dirty to another woman while his wife has all the passwords to his phone will not be that great.

The screen locks, changing rooms are not the end of it. He will take a few steps further by creating a few social media accounts that you’ve no idea about.

8. He accuses you of cheating

What are the possibilities of finding out about his affair when your husband accuses you of your own?

What’s the best way to distract a woman? – Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a favorite tool of narcissists. It involves making baseless accusations about a woman.

So when your husband will start banging his head on the wall with the stress of hiding his affair, he will find an easier method.

It is to blame you for the things you haven’t done. His best and the worst choice will be accusing you of having an affair.

As you are engaged in proving yourself innocent, the limelight is not on him anymore and he can do whatever he wants in the dark.

9. His work timings has multiplied infinitely

When your husband goes out for work, do you care to know why he is taking the few extra hours?

When he is out of station for some important work meeting, do you have any of his friends on your side to keep an eye on him?

Making your suspicious mind run 24*7 is a bit exhausting and gives a lot of stress.

Trust is an important part of a marriage. You can’t keep a check on him throughout your life.

Yes, you have all the rights to do so when it seems he has forgotten his way home.

One or two business trips are completely okay. It’s a matter of concern when his work life seems to be a vacation life.

He is never home. He will always stay out-of-station for work. When he is back, he will spend his nights working extra hours in the “office” – if you know what I mean.

10. There are signs of another woman all over his shirt

He rings the doorbell and you rush to the door. Just as you open the door for him, you smell a feminine scent lingering on your main gate.

You look here and there to see if his female friend has accompanied him to meet you. To your surprise, there is no one.

Is your husband into women scents now? Or into other women?

Of course, it’s the latter.

It’s also your job to check if he has lipstick stains and makeup marks on his shirts.

If you are careful enough, he will not be able to hide his hickey which is not from you.

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11. The man has become hygienic

He rushes to the bathroom when he enters home.

No matter what time of the day it is… he will have unusual urges to take a shower when he has left home wearing new pants and exotic cologne.

If you are confused by his sudden obsession with hygiene, it’s time for you to see the bigger picture.

After he left home all decked up, he was not out to see his old school time buddy.

He was out to see her little bitch he has been cheating you with.

12. Your sex life has come to a halt

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Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

We all know that sexual attraction and excitement fades away after years of marriage.

It becomes quite less frequent and irregular.

But if now you are not even getting that, or your perfectly awesome sex life has abruptly come to a stop, let your suspicious mind run a few miles.

It’s not normal for a man to stop showing sexual desire. If he is doing that, it means he is getting his part of the fun from somewhere else.

13. Don’t call me, I’ll call you!

When your husband makes it a part of his daily routine to say these words – “Don’t call me, I’ll call you”, he means a lot of things.

As expected, according to him it means he is working all evening and attending work meetings all night.

He can’t make a little room to receive your calls in between his busy work schedule.

But what he really means is

“Don’t call me as I’ll be having some action with the cafeteria owner”

The other woman is happy to get him whatever time he is free. But of course, she is spreading her wings and demanding more time for him.

Your cheater husband, being a coward, gives up to her demands.

Not only does he stay outside by making excuses, but he also makes sure your calls don’t disturb him when things get steamy in bed with the other woman.

14. His excuses are lame and stupid

It’s been a long time since he is into cheating.

By this time, either he will become a pro at making excuses, or the big box of little excuses is empty. Now, he is just left with the lame and stupid ones.

His excuses will be senseless –

“I’ll be late today because my car will get stuck in a traffic jam”.

The list of lies has gone too far. He will find himself in trouble when he can’t keep a track of his own lies.

He will divert from his own statements that he made a week ago.

15. You are constantly at a war with your intuition

You-are-at-war-with-your-intuition
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels

A wife knows when things aren’t the same. She recognizes her husband’s moods just by having a look on his face.

She knows if he is upset or happy, whether has got some good news to share or he is mad at his boss.

So, when he is there with his body with his mind wandering somewhere else, she will know.

If you are trying to find out if your husband is cheating on you, it will require a lot of your gut instincts.

When your husband cheats, the signs are around you.

It’s the conscious mind that is unable to take the emotional and physical toll and takes longer to truly accept reality and see the signs the way they really are.

16. The credit card bills are confusing

It’s the end of the month. You take a look at the credit card bills and you’re hella confused!

You will ask your husband “From where all of these extra expenses have started popping up?” I assure you that you will not get a reasonable answer.

A faithful man will not have difficulty sharing the details of the expenses. A cheater will give you shitty details and make excuses that will amount to nothing.

The responsibility for expenses made at expensive restaurants and hotels will be dropped on his friend.

He will say he booked rooms for his friend and his girl or paid his friend’s restaurant bill or any other kind of lame excuses.

From now on, he will hide his misdeeds by paying for his restaurant’s and hotel’s bills by cash.

You will see his wallet full when he leaves and empty when he comes back home.

17. His friends and family are no longer as close to you as they were once

He is making some drastic changes by cheating you with another woman.

This is huge and he can’t keep the news limited to him for a longer period of time.

The news will be broken to his trusted family members and close buddies.

Obviously, now they are also with him in keeping this secret from you, and their bonds with you will change too.

His friends will no longer be that friendly in your presence as they were once before. There will be a lot of hush-hush and unexplained silence.

If he has opened up to his sister and mother, they will start keeping the calls and visits limited.

When you are sided by his closed ones, you should be prepared for the changes that are going to take place in the near future.

18. He has stopped making future plans

A husband cheating on his wife will stop making future plans with her altogether.

Even after marriage, there are a lot of serious plans for the children, a new home, the dream car, and finances.

There is also some dream planning of how both of you will spend the rest of their life together, the wonderful things they will do together and the beautiful places on the map that they will cover together.

When a husband cheats, all of his attention is in getting as much as he can from this new lady while keeping you blind-sighted of the whole situation.

It hurts me to break the news to you but when a husband stops making future planning with you, it’s because he is making it with someone else.

The marriage is on the verge of its end and the horrific news can be shared with you anytime soon.

19. The discovery of a secret bank account

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Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

As if all these secrets were not enough, the revelation of a secret bank account is really painful.

Don’t get my point wrong. It’s totally normal for married couples to maintain separate bank accounts.

The problem arises when it’s a secret and you were not informed at all.

With all the expenses and struggles to make ends meet with children’s studies and extracurricular activities, nothing hurts more than this.

Having a secret bank account in itself is a kind of cheating. Let alone the idea of fooling around with another woman.

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John Santana

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