by John Santana
When you are committed to a relationship, you expect this commitment to be mutual. Having someone to share and bond with is magical. But very often, you start wondering if you can completely trust the other person because, after all, you are two minds. Perhaps he is sleeping next to you but thinking about someone else.
Betrayal is a tough pill to swallow in a relationship. Whether you have just begun dating or have been together for ages, you still have to wonder what happens if he decides to make a move on someone else. Instead of waiting for your partner to reveal the ultimate secret to you, there are signs that you can pay attention to. You don’t want to be kept in the dark when your partner is out having fun with someone else.
Be well-informed about all the subtle signs that say he is talking to someone else. Be smart and make your partner regret it!
12 Signs He is Talking to Someone Else
1. He replies less frequently
Given that there is no emergency or unexpected situation, then there is no good excuse for slower replies. If he is on his phone just as frequently, he should be able to reply to you. The reason for a slow reply is likely due to the fact that he is swamped replying to someone else.
He can’t dedicate as much time to you because he has found another princess. The most obvious sign is that you actually see him online but it still takes him hours to respond even if he is not working.
2. He is less available for dates
When you are dating someone, you get all tingly just thinking about meeting with them and hanging out. This is something every couple should look forward to, especially if you don’t live together.
These days, you start noticing that he has all sorts of excuses to postpone your dates or even cancel them at the last minute. Every time, he gives a seemingly legit excuse. But when you start thinking more about it, it sure feels like he is avoiding you or he is too occupied.
All the things he tells you about being too tired and just wanting to be cooped up in bed do not justify his actions. If you spend some time strolling down the bar street, you might run into him happily drinking with someone else.
3. He doesn’t want you to touch his phone
Now, although a healthy relationship shouldn’t be about checking his phone all the time, he also shouldn’t feel the need to hide his phone from you. It is perfectly normal for couples to use their phones in front of each other.
Every once in a while, his phone is closer than yours and you want to check for a nearby restaurant. He would’ve let you use his phone with no problem before. But recently, he would snatch that phone out of your hand every time you try to touch it.
It is clear that he is hiding something. There are things on his phone that he doesn’t want you to accidentally see. Perhaps it is a text, a call history, or some photos. There are secrets on his phone; that is why he is reluctant to let you access it.
4. His phone is always buzzing when you are together
Your boyfriend can be a popular guy, indeed. But have you noticed that he tried to deliberately hide his notifications from you? When his phone buzzes around you, he tries not to look at his phone until you are not in the same room or he would tilt his body so you wouldn’t see his screen.
There is a fine line between privacy and secrecy. You have no right to check his phone or messages. But if he has to go out of his way to hide them from you, it is a red flag. He probably has someone else.
5. He refuses to be seen in certain places with you
Weirdly, he is cautious about where you two meet. There is a neighborhood that seems to be in a restricted area. He refuses to go near there. Or even if you do go there, he doesn’t behave like your boyfriend. He maintains distances and acts like you two aren’t close.
Boom! That’s where his new girlfriend is living. For what it’s worth, she is most likely kept in the dark about your existence as well. Hence, he has to make all the effort to make sure you don’t run into each other to ruin his master plan. If an area suddenly becomes a forbidden topic, it’s because he doesn’t want to risk having his two girls find out his dirty little secret.
6. He is not so passionate about having sex anymore
Sex is an intimate thing for couples. It is not merely about the physical connection but also about the soul connection. Being in love makes sex special. It makes you feel truly connected to the other person.
If sex has not been very satisfying and he doesn’t seem to even be interested in having sex with you, there is a high chance that he is finding that satisfaction somewhere else. He is dividing his energy between two girls, which causes him to underperform when he is with you.
As heartbreaking as it is, know that when he refuses sex, either he has some physical issues, or his mind is simply not on you anymore. He is having this passionate ride with someone else and is too tired to give you more.
7. He doesn’t want you to talk too much with his friends
Everything was going well. You have met his friends and get along well. You enjoy this group a lot. Suddenly, he doesn’t want you to hang out too much with his friends anymore. You think to yourself, why?
When someone is cheating, they tend to share this with their closest friends. Hence, his friends know about this. That’s why it’s dangerous if you all hang out together. First of all, he can’t guarantee that his friends won’t get too drunk and casually slip some vital information in front of you.
Second, he is also worried that someone in his friendship group will feel sorry for you and tell you what he has been doing. A lot of people have fallen victim to this. When their boyfriend is cheating, they lose his friends too as collateral damage.
8. He no longer wants to talk about the future
Remember the good times when you were talking about having kids, buying a house by the sea, and growing old together? That was only a few months ago when you were picturing a life together. Now, he refuses to even talk about next Christmas with you.
He is scared to paint more ideas into your mind that you will have a future together. For all he cares, he is simply waiting for the perfect moment to leave you for someone else. Or he wants to stay with you while making plans with others. Therefore, he doesn’t want to make any solid plan with you in case it backfires.
This change in behavior is only applicable to you. He is still eagerly making plans with his siblings and parents to take a trip somewhere in Europe, his high school friends to go skiing after the year-end bonus, and his colleagues about the company retreat. You are the only one that is left out in all his plans.
9. You are not invited to his activities
Before, you were always invited to his parties and gatherings. You don’t even need an invitation. But now, it seems like you are no longer automatically invited. You aren’t welcome, to be exact.
He gives you excuses of why you shouldn’t be at this party or gathering. You can tell it’s bullshit as soon as it comes out of his mouth. Even if people around him don’t know about his affairs or that he has been talking to someone else, he still wants to exclude you from group activities because he wants to slowly eliminate you from his circle.
10. He addresses you differently to new people
Every time you meet someone new, he no longer addresses you as his girlfriend. He just refers to you by your name or says you are his friend. He can make up the most glamorous logic that your romance should not be shared with strangers you have just met.
You can feel that deep down, something is amiss. He doesn’t want more people to think you are together. He is seeing someone else and it doesn’t reflect well on him if he keeps introducing different girls to the same people every time. He knows it’s time to take a break and just refers to everyone as a friend.
11. You start seeing another girl appearing on his social media
This is not just a casual lunch with colleagues. There are traits that reveal something more is going on. You see the same girl on his Instagram stories over and over again. He will tell you that she is just a colleague. But you know normal people don’t get so hooked on their colleagues that they feel compelled to share every time.
He is probably doing that because he doesn’t even realize the damage it’s causing. In his mind, he is falling for her and he wants to show her off casually, believing no one will ever think more of it. But there are things that you can’t lie about. His arrogance will be the leak. Everyone else will pick up the signal before he understands what is wrong.
12. He is developing new habits
Your routine is no longer the same. For example, you both used to enjoy having a lazy Sunday in. But these days, he is crazy about hitting the gym and maintaining the fittest figure. His diet is changing and he no longer likes wearing the clothes he used to have.
Things that he used to hate, like shopping, are now his leisure activities. He wants to look sharp all the time. It’s not hard to see why. He has someone to impress. This is someone new and he wants to look his best.
What to do if he is seeing someone else?
If you have confirmed the worst scenario, you have to digest your available options and see what is best for you.
It all depends on if you want to do this privately or have the world know about his ugly deeds. Assuming that you are not willing to take this humiliation, then you need to find a way to break it off so it doesn’t affect you negatively. If you are married or have kids to support, you might need his alimony. In that case, consult a lawyer and get evidence of this. Always gather proof so he can’t deny it and it’s beneficial to use as your leverage.
Dealing with betrayal is never easy. If no legal issue or child is involved, there is your silver lining. Then, you can decide what you want to do about it. You can confront him and tell him what you know. Watch him beg for forgiveness when you just turn around and walk out on him. That is going to be the most satisfying thing ever.
If you are vengeful enough, you can wait to do a big reveal at a party or gathering. Some men will never learn their mistakes unless they are as humiliated as you were. However, if you do decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, understand that you probably will never hear from his friends again, even if they have become your friends along the way.
Unfortunately, friends tend to be loyal to the original friend. So, if you are the latecomer, you don’t get to keep his friends. Be prepared that you are about to lose more than just your boyfriend.
But not everything has to be sad. On the off chance that you decide to forgive him or at least give him an opportunity to work it out, communication and forgiveness are essential.
Talk to him about his motive behind it. Is it because he fell out of love with you? Is he looking for new excitement? Or is he scared to dig deep into your existing issues?
Whatever the reason is, let him talk. You can only move past this if you both understand why he did what he did. Sit down and have a calm conversation. After you have sorted out the root cause of this betrayal, it’s time to move past it.
Give him rules
You can give him a list of things to follow, like no more late-night drinking with another girl. Give him all the rules you want, but at the end of the day, you need to be able to move on. If you are always stuck in this past pain and can’t forgive him, you will drag this out every time you have a fight. This puts him at a big disadvantage and creates an extremely toxic relationship.
He needs to understand that this is not okay. But at the same time, he shouldn’t be treated like a defeated country with two million treaties to obey. If you decide to stay together, you need to be the bigger person and look past this.
How to meet the perfect boyfriend?
As the oldest saying goes, “someone else’s boyfriend is always better.” You know there are good guys out there. They just never seem to cross paths with you. Well, just because your Prince Charming isn’t riding his horse on the street doesn’t mean you can’t find him.
Online dating is the best way to meet the perfect boyfriend. Every match you get is specifically sorted for your requirements. Adult FriendFinder and Ashley Madison are the top two trending online dating sites.
Adult FriendFinder is going strong with its 90 million users. On this platform, you can be as fun as you want to be. Join the live stream and show the boys what you’ve got. Or start posting daily vlogs about your love hunt. Members are going crazy over this site as it has so many exclusive features.
Make friends with a group of people with many virtual dating events going on every night. Don’t limit yourself to just one match at a time. Members are fun-loving and open-minded.
On the contrary, if you prefer to be private about your relationship or are not looking for something extravagant, Ashley Madison is a great choice. Conceal your identity with its anonymous payment method. Keep your browser clean with its secret chat feature.
It’s understandable to keep things low-profile at first since you have been hurt. Ashley Madison attracts kind members that want to take things slow. You will be able to find millions of sexy men in your area ready to make you feel loved again.
Online dating platforms have the highest success rate in creating long-lasting relationships. Instead of wasting your time getting to know a complete stranger in the bar, trust a system that analyzes profiles that are compatible with you.
Accepting your boyfriend’s unfaithful behavior is tough.
Now that you have your answers, you can make a clear-cut decision. At the same time, remember that the best chance to meet someone compatible is through online dating. That’s how soulmates get connected.
Move on from this horrendous betrayal and find someone that treats you like a real princess!
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