8 Red Flags & Signs He Doesn’t Care About You (And What To Do About It)

Last Updated on January 13, 2023

Oftentimes, love is a one-way street. The effort you put in isn’t rewarded. You care so deeply about him and want to receive the same from him. But he is giving you an attitude.

You can’t figure out his game. Is he trying to play with you or simply not interested? Watch out for these classic telltale signs that your man doesn’t care about you.

Signs He Doesn’t Care About You

1. He Never Texts First

Forget about the self-righteous people telling you it’s silly to count who texts first. It matters a lot. Your interaction sets the tone of the relationship. Constantly being the one to initiate suggests he is not quite interested in talking to you.

Or worse, he is playing hard to get, which also suggests he doesn’t want to put in much effort and only expects you to keep trying. Either way, it shows toxicity in this man. He will never devote his time to making you feel loved and precious.

2. He Ignores Your Emotional Needs

Have you ever noticed the care is not mutual? You are giving him all the attention he seeks. Wherever you see an emotional text from him about his bad day with family, you immediately offer to hop on a call to comfort him.

Yet, it doesn’t work the other way around. He ignores your emotional needs. He will swiftly change topics when you start complaining about work. It is evident that he doesn’t care about your struggles.

Showing emotions in front of him is almost a sin. He gets annoyed at the sight of you being sad over something. He can share the good times with you but expects you to suck on the bad vibes yourself.

3. He is Only Interested in Meeting Up

She-is-using-you-as-a-puppet
Photo by Lina Kivaka from Pexels

You are probably surprised because how could this be a bad sign? It is if you are not seeking a casual relationship. He always asks you out but would not reply to your other texts. Sex is what he is after.

Whatever you say on the phone, he will tell you meeting up is the best way to talk about it. The lack of interest in preserving a deep bond once you are not physically together says a lot. Someone that cares about you will always want to stay in touch, no matter the distance.

Conversations are short on texts. They never amount to anything valuable. You can’t have a meaningful talk with him because he replies to you once a day. This is not normal behavior for lovers.

4. He Forgets About the Major Things You Share

It’s okay not to remember the smaller things, although it would have been a big plus. Forgetting about the major things shows his genuine disinterest in you. He could be going out with you to pass the time because he has nothing to do.

Watch out if he asks you for the third time about your job or your hobbies. Not remembering these things mean he will not know your other smaller things. You are not on his mind. Another reason why he might be so forgetful is that he could be seeing multiple people at the same time. It’s easy to confuse his dates.

He may try to cover it up by saying he doesn’t care about your background and only the good times with you count. This is a very lame excuse that playboys use to fool girls. If he cares, he will remember. There is no such thing as forgetting because you are in love.

5. He Doesn’t let You Talk

A man deeply in love with someone will want to know everything about his lover. Cutting you off means he doesn’t want to get to know you. Either he is selfish or he is not interested. A self-absorbed guy will divert everything you say back to him.

For example, if you are talking about a work accident, he will flat-out overlook it and tell you something about his work. He doesn’t give you a chance to expand on your topics and deprives you of your right to share. This dominating rule is demanding to your feelings and suppresses your emotional needs to be loved.

6. He is Always on His Phone When You Meet

Dating Tips

Putting your phone down during a date is a sign of respect. Unless there is an emergency, he should never be on his phone all the time. He might be using his phone a lot as he wants to get through the date quicker. He is likely annoyed at not being able to get you in bed yet.

His mind is distracted by his phone. Your thoughts and feelings are not getting through. You could politely ask him to put down his phone and focus on you. If the situation doesn’t improve, then you will have your answers. He gives zero sense about you.

7. He Doesn’t Introduce his Family and Friends to You

While some people do enjoy keeping their relationships private, not introducing you to his family and friends could be a sign that he doesn’t care about you in most cases. Let’s say he is an outgoing guy with loads of friends around. Then, he has no reason not to include you in the big group since all his friends get along.

The only reason for this is that he has too many girls around. He doesn’t want his dates to establish solid friendships with people around him as it will be harder to get rid of them after. Of course, he also doesn’t want his friends to accidentally tell you how many girls he is seeing.

8. He Doesn’t Make Time for You

All lovey-dovey couples want to spend as much time together as possible. You should rightfully be his top priority. Sadly, all his excuses to put other things and people in front of you are not valid, unless you are happy to be at the bottom of his priority list. ‘

He will first adjust his schedule according to his other plans before fitting you in. You are merely getting his leftover slots. It is hardly an honor but an insult. If you ever feel he is using you to fill time and not making time for you, you are not very important to him, unfortunately.

Why Doesn’t He Care About You?

There is no definitive answer to this question as every man functions differently. But here are some of the main reasons men don’t show the same care as you.

He never thought about seriously dating you. You are either an item he is using to pass the time or his friend with benefits. From the start, he never wanted something more than casually hanging out. When you pursue him more and he feels that you are into him, he starts pulling away by not caring.

For some men, this is better than a direct rejection. You can feel how little he cares and stop going after him without him having to turn you down. This is quite a cowardly move but one that many men use to avoid confrontation.

Women who lack confidence often can’t sell their best qualities. It’s hard to convince your man to fall in love with you when you don’t even care about yourself. Maybe he senses the lack of self-esteem in you and isn’t convinced enough about a secure future.

On a more sinister side, he could be cheating on his girlfriend and therefore, trying to hide you as best as he can. He can’t let anyone in his circle know of your existence, nor can he let you in so close.

That’s why even though you have been going out or he has been actively talking to you, you can’t penetrate his social circle. He doesn’t let you know too much about his life, either. There is a giant wall you can’t break through.

All in all, there can be a million reasons why he doesn’t care about you. Knowing the reason may open your eyes to what a jerk he is and push you to grow your own self worth, but it won’t change his heart. People seldom change the way they treat people they don’t care about.

What To Do If He Doesn’t Care About You?

Boy holding girlfriend's hand

1. Discuss Your Needs With Him

Although not caring for you is pretty much the dealbreaker, it’s not an instant death in some cases. Perhaps you met the guy right when he was going through something, or he simply lacks proper dating skills.

If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, you should discuss your needs with him. Bring up all the unpleasant feelings and how he has been mistreating you. If he is understanding of the situation, you can talk about solutions. Make sure you draw the line between what is acceptable and what is not.

Be careful to stand your ground while giving him some freedom. He can be a naturally unattentive person. Pushing him to do everything your way will be short-lived. He will soon revert back to his original self because he is who he is. Therefore, you need to set appropriate expectations based on his personality.

2. Evaluate Your Situation and Expand Your Social Circle

In some cases, your feelings of being left out could come from yourself rather than him. Maybe he is thriving in both his career and social circle while you are struggling with life. Then, your frustration toward life may be misdirected to his success.

Work on yourself first. Evaluate your situation to know whether your sadness is coming from within or from him. Attending more networking events and joining meetup groups are fantastic ways to expand your social circle.

Once you are confident in yourself, you will see the whole ordeal entirely differently. You may look back and believe you were being overdramatic. But you also shouldn’t try to pin it all on yourself. Look at the situation objectively to arrive at a fair conclusion. Ask a trusted friend to be honest with you if you can’t do it yourself.

As the old dating rule goes, you are only attractive when you are attracted to yourself. Appreciate your own value and your amazing qualities so he can see what he is missing out and he will put in more effort.

3. Work on Your Looks

It sounds superficial but sometimes it’s needed. A radiating look not only captures people’s attention but also helps you feel and appear confident. People with sloppy looks are often seen as lazy. Your man feels you are not really trying hard to date or to impress. Hence, he puts in less effort in return.

Try out different looks to see which ones complement your facial features. An attractive look should highlight your natural tone and facial structures. A makeover doesn’t mean hiding your natural self. It should amplify it to let everyone know how charming you are.

Hiring a stylist is a good option if you are willing to spend some bucks on it. They can analyze your body shape and skin tone to give you a palette of colors that work wonderfully on you. A transformation should be handled professionally.

4. Leave

Changing someone is next to impossible. You can never fully control someone’s behavior. Instead of trying to change him into your dream man, you should just continue your pursuit elsewhere.

Leaving someone does take courage. You might even feel this is not a big deal enough to warrant a breakup. But the truth is, nothing is too small for a breakup. If you don’t sit well with it, it’s time to leave.

Best Online Dating Sites to Find True Love

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  • Adult FriendFinder – If you think it isn’t working, head over to Adult FriendFinder to find someone that’s worth your time. It’s great for casual flings and hookups that will distract you, and may turn into something more. We love how quickly you can find matches and dates here, and it has a huge dating pool to choose from.
  • Ashley Madison – Perhaps you want to discreetly test the waters with someone new. Ashley Madison is a discreet, encrypted dating site so no one needs to know you are on it. It was originally set up for affairs, so if you are not ready to walk out just yet, it could be the right site for you.

Summary

Not having a lover to return your love feels awful. The most effective way to move on from the pain of a bad match is to join a reputable online dating platform to match. Try Adult FriendFinder and Ashley Madison and you will find a new lease of life with a man that adores you.

John Santana

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