Last Updated on February 17, 2023
Open marriage is a mysteriously wild concept. Society will question the sanctity of love in an open marriage. But, what does it entail? Some people think it equals polyamorous relationships. Are they the same?
In this article, all of your questions about having multiple partners are answered. If you have been exploring this avenue, this is the preparation guide to get you started. You will see whether this form of love is the right choice for you.
Don’t have time to read the complete article? Checkout our favorite picks below.
1st - Ashley Madison
2nd - Adult FriendFinder
3rd - Bang Locals
4 Best Open Marriage Dating Sites (2023 Update)
1. Ashley Madison
- Secret chats and payment methods to hide your identity
- Highly protective of its female members
- Perfect for affairs
- Quite a lot of ads
Pink-loving girly women will love this exotic dating app. Ashley Madison is all about keeping the girls safe in a discreet affair. Secret chats and anonymous payment methods are activated to conceal your identity.
It is a considerate move since a lot of open marriage couples are afraid of having their families find out about it. They are reluctant to go on online dating apps but Ashley Madison has solved the dilemma by introducing secret identity protection to its members.
Female members are taken care of in a world full of predictors. You can report and block every suspicious profile to keep the community safe. Profiles are thoroughly checked before appearing on the app.
Given its secretive nature, Ashley Madison is easily the most popular open marriage dating app. Members enjoy mingling with like-minded souls. That being said, the app contains more ads than usual. These ads are standard online dating ads but the frequency is high enough to get users slightly annoyed. To bypass the ads, you will have to upgrade your membership plan.
2. Adult FriendFinder
- 90 million open-minded members
- Lots of wedded couples having fun on this casual dating site
- Group mingling activities organized by active members
- Video chats are often pixelated
Every beginner’s choice is here. It is not the first time you have heard of Adult FriendFinder but you probably do not realize just how powerful it is. Built as a casual dating site, this modern platform with 90 million users is attracting mostly committed or married people looking for some fun.
Instead of grilling each other about their income and job stability, you are expected to make friends here. Take it easy. People are not in a rush to meet someone as they are already in healthy relationships. They are here to see who might be cool to date.
Active members regularly host group events for newcomers to participate. Users are greeted with warm hospitality and excellent customer service. It is the second home away from your physical home.
The slight downside to this otherwise flawless service would be its semi-low quality video chat. When too many people join the same chat, it gets pixelated. A few refreshes would solve the issue but users should expect it during mass group chats.
3. Bang Locals
- For casual dating
- Easy registration process
- Active members all over the country
- Many bots and fake profiles
Couples in an open marriage are less likely to seek another serious relationship because they already have a full-time partner at home. Therefore, Bang Locals becomes a natural selection. They are looking for casual dates after work. There is no commitment and you do not vibe together, there is no “see you later.”
Signing on Bang Locals is fast and simple. All you need is a few photos and a valid email or phone number to verify your account. After that, you are sent to the hunting ground looking for that feisty cougar. Bang Locals has members all over the country. Its member distribution is fairly reasonable with a decent member size in small towns and villages. You will not run out of matches even if you are on the road.
Being on Bang Locals, users need to look out for bots and fake profiles. The system has not provided a comprehensive system to stop the invasion of scammers. Users need to exercise their wit to identify whether it is a real person or a bot that they are talking to.
In any case, avoid sending money to anyone from an online dating site. There will never be a reason good enough to do so.
Open Marriage Vs. Polyamorous Relationship. Are They The Same?
While both open marriages and polyamorous relationships fall under the category of ethical non-monogamy, they are not substitutes for each other.
In a polyamorous relationship, the involvement of both original partners in the new romance is the same. The relationship becomes a three-way street. Couples are seeking additional members of the family. Everyone is equal in this relationship. None of the partners is left out. Polyamorous couples hang out together and do everything couples do together. Each partner has a say in who to bring in.
The whole concept of a polyamorous relationship is based on the premise that this is an act of love. You are doing this out of love for every partner involved.
Whereas in an open marriage, unless previously agreed upon, you are free to choose whoever you want to date. Partners are given the freedom to try out the new dating arena. Most of the time, you are not even expected to share the details or the number of people you are dating.
You rarely mix your existing partner with your new fling. An open marriage is where you both know you are seeing each other without interfering with your decision. It does not mean your partner has to be part of the new relationship.
Although both an open marriage and a polyamorous relationship have to be discussed and agreed upon by both partners, their context is entirely different.
Do Open Marriages Work?
Traditionally, a marriage is for two people only. The happily ever after has no place for a third person. This has been the motto for thousands of years. However, this generation has changed it all. According to multiple surveys and research projects, a significant amount of people find an open marriage healthy and satisfying. People are no longer morally bound by the belief circling around for centuries.
Think of it this way. Normally, you would have been in more than one relationship so far. Every person that you dated felt like the right one at the time. You were fantasizing about a dreamy wedding every time.
In each person, you saw different potential. Some of them were more sporty and could join you for a bouldering session. Few of them were intelligent and could tell you all about astrology. Some of them were great planners that could offer you a sense of security. It is unfortunate that these relationships did not work out back then. But it did not take away the fact that all those people felt so right at the time.
Society is starting to realize people can fall in love with more than one person. There are so many people that you are compatible with. It is impossible to find all the good traits in one person. You are not completed by one person but by a few. If you stay with just one person, it might end up depleting you. If you are lucky enough to find a few, suppressing your feelings is only going to make you miserable.
You can date people with qualities that cannot be found in your partner. Then, your needs and wants that cannot be fulfilled by your wedded lover are satisfied by these flings. It sustains the marriage and makes everyone happier.
Couples are tired of ending up in the same rabbit hole of hating each other after a decade of marriage. There is love in them but to build a healthy marriage, opening it up is the only way sometimes.
How To Be In An Open Marriage?
1. Be honest
An open marriage is a big deal. Both partners have to consent to it for this to work healthily. Discuss with your partner so everyone understands why it has to be done and what expectations there are. If something feels wrong along the way, bring it up instantly and find a solution. Communication will be a key element in improving your marriage.
Some open marriage couples want to know who their partner has been dating while others want to keep it private. This has to be discussed beforehand. Share the vital information with your partner but keep things that will make them uncomfortable to yourself.
The same goes for them. Tell them what you expect to know and what is better off a secret. Keep the expectations straight.
3. Set boundaries about sex and protection
You have every right to set the limit on sex and protection. If it does not sit with you, raise the problem. Set your boundaries about sex and protection. Is sex allowed with all the dates? Is it a must that they use protection every time? Can they do a threesome?
While you are the boss to set the boundaries, it is always recommended to use protection to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
4. Discuss if you want to disclose it to friends and family
No matter how proud you are about this, dealing with friends and family is a totally different issue. You or your partner may not want your circle to hear a thing about it. Check to see how your partner feels and what the right move is here. Remember, your marriage is entirely your business. You do not owe it to anyone to explain your situation.
5. Learn not to be jealous
Ask yourself if you are doing this for the right reasons. Having an open marriage is about learning how to love and embracing your happy side by unleashing your free spirit. An open marriage is never about having the freedom to sleep with random strangers. Get into it for the right reasons.
Learning not to be jealous is a big part of the lesson. In the beginning, you will struggle to bear the thought of someone else dating your partner. It takes time to master. There will be a learning curve and some bumpy roads. But after you see how radiant your partner has become, you will know it is the right decision to make. Your marriage will be stronger than ever with this experience.
Choosing an open marriage means choosing love. You are clear about your goals and happy to do anything for love. Stop having cold feet on this adventure. This new chapter of life will open up a lot more possibilities and wonders. Sign up on these open marriage dating sites to find yourself all the awesome dates you have been dying for!