Men Seeking Men Deserve More Than Apps, Here’s How to Find It

The men seeking men dating scene can be tough, we all know this, and we’re all pretty burned out over it. However, you don’t have to totally abandon your search for that perfect guy. With a mindset change and a little patience, you can get to that spot you aim for.

We Want To See You Happy

Let’s get started here with something of a tough truth to handle: most blogs, apps, and sites don’t actually want you to get into a long-term relationship. It’s in their best interests to have you come back to that same app again and again to find love! This can frustrate guys looking for guys — it’s like trying to pick cherries with a stick. While you might make it work if you’re very lucky, you’ll get more fruit if you go and find a ladder.

Ken Howard, an LA-based therapist who caters to men seeking men, summed up this frustration really well. He pointed out that gay men who are looking for a break from dating are actually just looking for a break from the frustration! Failed relationships are definitely frustrating, as well as being heartbreaking.

So, how do you break through this frustration? Well — the only way out is through. We want to see that you’re happy: we made this site to help everyone find their soulmate, and that includes you. Here, we’re going to outline some great tools you can use to find your person, and show you how best to use them.

Forging a Lasting Connection

Getting started is the most daunting part of any connection, including a men seeking men relationships. The reality is that even though we all want to find each other, we’re a bit frightened of all the steps between where we are now, and where we want to be. Let’s take a step back and discuss how you can find someone to gel with you.

The first thing to consider is a piece of good news. Generally speaking, the number of people identifying as non-straight is increasing in most Western countries, according to the UK Office of National Statistics. This change is a positive one at the simplest level: it gives you more people who might make an ideal partner!

Sifting through all of these people can be tricky, though. The first steps are the easiest: which people live in the same city as you? Which people share your interests? Which people are currently single? After that, you create your own filters to find the best person for you.

A good start is to create a mindful dating mantra. You know what you want; you just might have to do a bit of introspection to find the right words and define it. Imagine your dream future for a moment — what is the man you’re with like? Forget his looks for a moment and concentrate on his nature. Is he funny and energetic? Is he suave and collected? By defining that future man, you can find the man you’re looking for now.

Don’t be surprised if the person of your imagination is a little different from your current type. It’s not uncommon for men looking for men (or anyone in hookup culture) to go for someone who’s hot, even if they’re a little bad for them. Try to avoid that tempting pitfall, and find the mantra to guide you to your perfect man.

Keeping Your Men Seeking Men Connection Going

Okay, so you’ve found men seeking men, and you’ve gone on a date or two. Now, you’ve met a great guy with whom you’d really love a future: congratulations! What on earth comes next?

Well, for now, it’s wise to continue going on dates with him. Leaping straight into living together is likely a bit too quick, especially if that’s the kind of pattern you’ve fallen into before. Get to know your new boo, and go to a wide range of different places with them. Find out if you’ve got shared hobbies and interests, and then make a date around that interest!

While going drinking with your partner can be great fun, it’s not a great way to get to know one another. To keep the bond strong, do new things together, especially things where you can talk and bond while you’re doing them. With a little dedication to the cause, you’ll fall into a happy connection.

If you’re reading this article because you’re frustrated by the men seeking men scene, then this is the part of the relationship journey where you might start to flag. Going on fun dates is awesome, but what if it starts to feel a bit samey and episodic?

At that point, it’s important to remind yourself why you chose that person, as marriage.com points out. The point of this men seeking men connection is to break out of the routine you got into before, where relationships can fizzle. Instead, remember that you’re working toward that dreamy future you imagined before. This is mindful, deliberate dating, and you can use it to manifest your ideal future life.

What’s Next For You and Your Partner?

Now, you’ve forged a great emotional bond, and you both want to move things along. How do you do that? Thankfully, it’s as simple as a conversation.

In any relationship, but particularly for men seeking men, clear communication is key. If you want to move your relationship to the next level, clearly communicate that! Depending on the stage your feelings are at, you might not want to immediately divulge the dream we were talking about at the top of the article. However, a mini-dream is a perfect little romantic confession. Let your partner know that you want to make things official — be exclusive, move in together, or whatever that looks like for you.

The reason we mentioned the particular importance of communication for men seeking men is that guys are often taught not to have these emotional conversations. Keeping feelings tucked away can be easier, but that’s not how you grow as a person, nor is it how you grow into a fulfilling relationship.

Will the conversation perhaps start out a little awkward? Yes, one million percent. Think, though: you’re taking a leap of faith into your dream future! Plus, you’re breaking the ice for your beau. While you’re both feeling a smidge awkward, your partner can take their leap a bit easier. From there, chat your way into a robust, heartfelt relationship!

So, now that we’ve talked about what makes a long-term gay relationship tick, how will you change your approach? Men seeking men can see long-term happiness by engaging with their partner and building emotional intimacy as a healthy bedrock to their relationship.