International Dating
Table of Contents
Online dating platforms and social media have opened up the world of international dating. No longer are we bound by geography to find our soulmate, but if you’re new to the idea of dating and love across borders, you probably have a lot of questions. Is it realistic to find a partner who lives across the world, and how do you make long-distance relationships work?
“Love, having no geography knows no boundaries” – Truman Capote
It’s possible to be successful in international dating, and we’re here to show you how. From making long-distance relationships work and navigating cultural differences, to knowing how to identify red flags in finding love around the world, this is the only guide you need.
Introduction: Why International Dating Is Growing in Popularity
Today, there are more options than ever for those seeking love, companionship, and a real connection with someone they care about. For those who are seeking relationships, it’s no longer necessary to try to find that connection in your own community – or even your own native country. People around the world are becoming more interconnected, and the possibilities of finding love are increasing through international dating sites.
But, what is the attraction in cross-border dating that has caused more people to consider dating outside of their own geographical location or culture? There’s the thrill of exploring new cultures with someone you’re romantically interested in, finding a partner that is more aligned with your vision of the future, and we can’t deny the sense of the exotic, exploring relationships like none other you’ve experienced.
But, international and long-distance relationships come with challenges. Miscommunications due to language barriers, not fully understanding different dating cultures around the world, maintaining long-distance romance, weeding out scams, and deciding what to do when a relationship gets serious and relocation is on the table, are just a few examples.
However, with the right mindset and tools, it’s possible to enjoy dating internationally, possibly finding love, and enjoying what could be a life-changing experience.
The Importance of Understanding International Dating
International dating is different from dating locally. On the positive side, it allows you to broaden your horizons, explore new possibilities, and gain new perspectives that can only come from exploring different cultures.
When you choose to date someone from a different culture, it’s not just about getting to know the person. It’s also about immersing yourself in a different culture, discovering relationships and connections with someone who has possibly lived a life that is entirely different from your own. With the right connection, the international dating experience can be truly magical.
Why International Dating Can Be Rewarding and Challenging
Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating someone from your neighborhood, or from the other side of the globe, the experience can be both exciting and a bit terrifying. But, when the connection is with someone who is from a different country or culture, there’s a whole new level of rewards and challenges to navigate.
Challenges like language barriers, cultural misunderstandings, and the fact that long-distance relationships can be tricky to manage might make some people second guess if international dating is for them. On the other hand, there’s the opportunity to experience new customs and traditions and explore an entirely new way of life with someone you’re romantically interested in. The idea of it is romantic and seductive all on its own.
An article in Psychology Today, outlines some of the most rewarding aspects of long-distance relationships as being greater independence, finding new ways to communicate, and sharing the benefits of two communities.
If you’re considering expanding the dating pool to a global level, you’ll be happy to know that many couples have found success, and have navigated the challenges, finding love on the other side.
International Cupid, which is one of the most popular foreign dating sites, shares a few of its client’s success stories. Here are a couple of examples pulled directly from the site:
“I’ve found my partner, and I’m so grateful for making it possible. I joined InternationalCupid to find a life partner, and I’m so grateful to the platform for making it possible. I’ve met an amazing guy—handsome, smart, funny, romantic, and everything I’m looking for to build a future together. A big thank you to InternationalCupid for connecting us, and to all the members for their support and kindness. Everyone is great, but it’s the one I chose whole truly fits me, and we’re so compatible!”
“I met an incredible, genuine person. We connected online and eventually met face-to-face. It’s real—don’t lose hope! I spent a long time on InternationalCupid without finding the right match. Then, out of the blue, I met an incredible, genuine person. We connected online and eventually met face-to-face. Since then, we’ve traveled together and are eagerly planning our next adventure. The best part? I found my true love here, and I truly feel that God is blessing our future plans. Thank you!”
Successful international relationships are real, and they do happen. You could be next.
Why Cultural Differences Matter in Relationships
When you find what feels like the perfect person, it’s easy to fall into the “we can overcome anything” mindset. It’s not that this is a bad approach to partnership, but it’s important to be realistic about the impact of certain factors. With international dating, addressing and understanding cultural differences should be a top priority and not something that is brushed under the table to deal with later.
While cultural differences might be part of the attraction of finding someone from overseas dating sites, these differences also present challenges that you might not expect. Gender roles, family involvement, an expectation of exclusivity, and how new couples are expected to engage with each other have very strong cultural ties.
It isn’t acceptable to disrespect these cultural norms simply because you’re not aware of them. If you’re considering dating from other countries and cultures, or you’re already interested in someone, it’s time to make understanding cultural differences a priority. Some people find that they can more easily adapt to these differences, while others find them too big of a challenge to navigate. Deciding where you sit on this spectrum can help you decide if international dating is for you.
Here are a couple of examples of differences in international dating customs.
Western Vs Asian Dating Customs: One of the primary differences between Western and Asian dating customs isn’t about dating itself, but rather the role of family and community. In Western culture, we tend to have a very individualistic mindset. While there are exceptions, we decide on our own who we date, what those relationships look like, and who we might marry, and often do so without much input from family. There is a very strong “this is my life” mentality with dating in the Western world.
The opposite is generally true in Asian culture, where traditionally, family plays a role in dating decisions. This is especially true for women, where having the family’s blessing is even more important.
Communication styles are also different. There is often an expectation of respect, with less direct expressions of romantic interest, and relationships tend to move more slowly. In Western culture, we’re more accustomed to forward conversations, and moving relationships along at a faster pace. This isn’t to say that this is everyone’s preference in Western culture, but it’s not uncommon.
Latin Vs American Dating Customs: Much like with Asian dating customs, family is central to Latin dating culture. In Latin cultures, families are close-knit with strong bonds. When dating someone from a Latin American country, don’t be surprised if there’s an expectation to meet the family sooner, rather than later. Due to the importance of family, it’s not uncommon for conversations to move toward exclusivity and plans for the future much more quickly than is typical when dating in the United States.
If you’re interested in impressing someone from a Latin American country in person, the typical dinner and a movie date might come off as a bit bland. Instead, suggest something vibrant and fun, like dancing and active social activities.
These are just a few examples of cultural differences in the dating world. If you’re interested in someone from a specific country or culture, take some time to research and learn about not just the dating culture, but also the culture in general. Learn about male/female roles in relationships, communication styles, and ideas about physical affection and intimacy, but also about food, religion, family customs, history, and other elements that factor into the richness of the region’s culture.
Strategies for Making International Dating Work
Making international dating work requires an approach that’s different from dating within your own country or culture. Let’s take a closer look at the important practical strategies that will help make dating across borders a success.
How to Find the Right International Dating Platform
So, where do you connect with all of these amazing people from around the world? There is an abundance of dating apps out there, and anyone who has even dipped a toe into the world of dating apps knows they are not all created equal.
With foreign dating sites, there are a few details and precautions to consider.
First, is reputation. If an international dating site has reviews, a large user base, and evidence of real connections, these are signs that you’re likely to connect with a real person and not a fake profile. Still, even with strong protocols in place to protect members from fake accounts, some do still get through, even on the most reputable of sites.
Here are a few red flags to look out for.
- Be on the lookout for profile images that look like they could be stock photos or AI-generated. A quick Google image search can be a helpful tool in determining if a photo is the real deal.
- Profile information should be complete, with consistent information. If their profile says one thing, but you get an entirely different vibe when communicating, this could be a red flag.
- Be wary if the person you’re interested in refuses to do any type of face-to-face chat in real-time. It could be that they don’t look much like their profile picture and are embarrassed, or it could be part of a bigger scam.
- If the person you’re talking to doesn’t hold true to any of their own cultural norms, this could be a sign that they aren’t who they say they are. Yes, there are outliers and exceptions, but if someone is acting completely out of character for their culture, it’s smart to proceed with caution.
- A poorly composed profile is a red flag. The whole purpose of using a foreign dating site is to meet someone incredible, which means you want to put your best foot forward. Sure, some are a bit clumsy with words and don’t put together the most eloquent profile, but if there seems to be zero effort, they likely either aren’t that invested or aren’t genuine.
- Be wary of any connection that asks for money or personal information outside of what you would share with a casual acquaintance. These connections are likely to “love bomb” their interests in an attempt to earn early trust. This is a common tactic of scammers, so be mindful of this and protect yourself.
How to Overcome Language Barriers and Communication Issues
Some people intentionally choose to look for a partner from a country whose language they are already familiar with, or maybe even fluent in. However, even if your language skills aren’t that great, you can still find love abroad. Language barriers can be a major challenge, but it’s a challenge that can be overcome.
If you’re in the early stages of international dating and aren’t sure about learning a new language right away, there are some ways to make communication easier. For example, the use of translation apps can help with basic conversations. Another way to help ease the language barrier discomfort in the early stages is to learn some of the key phrases in your love interest’s language.
As an example, “How are you?”, “How is your family?”, “I miss you”, “I love you”, and other simple phrases that are meaningful to the conversation between you and the person you’ve met through a foreign dating site. Mastering even just a few key phrases, combined with using translation apps can really help build a more meaningful connection.
Using video and voice chat can also help you communicate more effectively with each other. There is a lot of communication that happens through facial expressions, body language, and tone. Video and voice chat allows you to take advantage of these communication nuances that aren’t accessible through text messaging alone.
Even with all of this, miscommunications are going to happen. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if needed, and repeat yourself if necessary. You’re learning a new language while getting to know a new person. Give both yourself and them some patience and grace in the process.
How To Build Trust & Manage Long Distance Challenges
Now, let’s turn the conversation to something that is essential for every relationship – trust. Trust is something that builds over time, and develops as you spend more time together and experience more of life with each other. This is something that is more challenging when you’re getting to know each other from different sides of the globe.
Not everyone has the same expectations regarding trust, which can significantly affect compatibility. The earlier you have conversations about what your expectations are, the better. This is especially important with international dating, where cultural differences may influence ideas about trust and boundaries.
Here are a few tips for establishing and building trust in long-distance relationships.
- Set clear expectations early on. A relationship isn’t going to work if you’re on two different pages here, so communicate expectations before getting serious.
- When you’re both in different time zones, it’s important to set expectations on how frequently you’ll chat, and when it will happen. A fair approach is for each person to make equal adjustments to their schedules to meet the other according to their time zone, but this approach might not work for everyone.
- If for some reason, you can make a scheduled chat, let your person know as far in advance as possible.
- Use technology to your advantage. Even a quick video chat or saying good morning on a messaging app are simple, low-effort ways to let them know you’re thinking about them, and also give them a bit of a glimpse into your daily life. Making time for these regular check-ins is important for establishing trust. Approximately 89% of long-distance couples use video and messaging apps to stay in contact often.
- Set clear social media boundaries with each other. Decide early how comfortable you are sharing that level of your life with someone, and at what point you might be open to sharing more of it. Many people use social media as a way of getting to know each other, but without full context, sometimes social media can lead to feelings of jealousy and misunderstandings. Once you’re more comfortable with each other and are considering a more serious relationship, then social media can help establish trust in different ways.
- Be patient with each other, and be flexible. Time zone differences are difficult to navigate. Over time you’ll find a routine that works for both of you.
Moving from Online to Real-Life International Dating
So, you’ve been chatting for a while, and things are going really, really well. You think it might be time to meet this person face to face. This is an exciting time in your relationship. You might feel like you have already known each other for weeks, or maybe months, of frequent chats and messages, but meeting them in person takes your long-distance relationship to a whole new level.
What to Expect When Meeting for the First Time
Before you book the ticket and pack your bags, the first thing that should be on your mind is safety. First, if you’re traveling to a foreign country, there are safety concerns to be aware of with this aspect alone. This is true even if the country you’re traveling to is considered safe and friendly to foreign travelers.
The second safety factor to consider is the fact that you are meeting someone in person for the first time. No matter how tempting it may be, it’s important to book your own accommodations for your visit and make sure your family and friends know where you’re going, where you’re staying, and how long you’ll be there. Make sure to keep in touch with them regularly while you’re away.
In essence, you should take every precaution for your first meeting abroad as you would meeting someone face to face for the first time closer to home. This means meeting first in a public place, with plenty of people around. The classic coffee date as a first face-to-face meeting is still a good idea, even if you’re a couple of thousand miles away from home.
All of this also applies if you’re meeting your romantic interest on your home turf and they’re the one who is traveling. A kind gesture would be to offer suggestions on where to stay, as well as other resources such as local stores, transportation, etc. This is for both their safety and yours. There’s always a chance that things aren’t going to work out as hoped, and the less dependent the person traveling is, the better.
What about discussions of the future? Move slowly and remember that timing is everything. All the butterflies and endorphins can make it tempting to jump quickly to the idea of more permanent plans but proceed with caution here. It’s important that both of you have time to experience and enjoy being together in person, ideally, on multiple occasions.
There’s a lot to discuss when it comes to making a commitment as huge as relocating. For example, work, navigating new customs and culture, visas, etc. Take it slow and one step at a time.
What Are the Biggest Mistakes in International Dating
Dating is fun, but it’s also hard. Many people who use online dating sites will talk to and meet a lot of people before finding even one that they’re interested in pursuing further. International dating adds even more challenges, and opportunities for mistakes, into the mix. While most people who enter the world of long-distance relationships have genuine intentions of finding something real. However, there are those out there who see this as an opportunity for scams, or personal gain.
Let’s talk about some long-distance relationship red flags. Scammers, gold diggers, and those working with a hidden agenda are going to eventually turn the conversation into a request for money. There’s often a lead-in, or setup, that includes an unfortunate story. The goal is to get you to feel connected to them, and also feel sorry for them. They play on your heart, hoping you’ll help with money. It could be anything from needing money for their family or parents, medical emergencies, or even a business that they need a small loan for.
It can’t be stressed enough that a genuine person who is interested in you won’t ask for money. At the most, maybe split the cost of travel if you’re meeting in person, but if you’re handing money over for other reasons, there’s a chance you’re being scammed. Also, never give credit card numbers, bank account numbers, social security numbers, or anything of this nature to someone you haven’t been seriously involved with for a long time.
Another big mistake in international dating is having unrealistic expectations. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the image of a person and romanticize the future with them. At the end of the day, we’re all just people, and everyone has flaws. Because there’s often a long period of getting to know someone before meeting them in person, there’s even more time for the mind to develop unrealistic expectations.
Relationship expert, behavioral scientist, and author of “How Not to Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love”, Logan Ury, sums it up best with this quote:
“I call this error in judgment the Monet Effect. When we have only a rough perception of someone, our brain, hoping for a great outcome, fills in all the gaps optimistically. People seem way more desirable than they actually are. It’s only later, when they transform into real people standing in front of us, that we see the flaws.”
Finally, as much as you may try to prepare for it, cultural misunderstandings can cause unexpected issues. Family dynamics, social norms, and religious practices can become more focal in your relationship than you expected them to be. Don’t feel discouraged if this happens, but use this as an opportunity to know better what to expect next time.
It’s never easy knowing when to walk away from a relationship, and this includes long-distance relationships. Sometimes it’s just a gut feeling you have. This is your intuition, and you should listen to it. Other times, you might find that you’re frequently making excuses for your partner’s behavior, or that you don’t feel like you’re a priority. Maybe the relationship feels completely one-sided. Whatever it is, if it makes your relationship feel forced, or like you’re putting in an unmatched level of work, these are signs that it’s time to walk away.
What’s Next? Taking Your International Relationship to the Next Level
You’ve found the perfect person on an international dating site, and the connection is incredible. You’ve spent time getting to know each other and have met in person. You’ve both decided you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level. This is wonderful!
Next, comes the process of merging your lives. If you’ve been in a serious relationship before, then you have an idea of what this involves. Except, this time it involves blending your lives across international borders. Relocation and marriage both require careful planning.
First, spend time researching the technical aspects, such as immigration laws and visa requirements. You can find some information on visas at travel.state.gov for the United States, and Schengenvisainfo.com for the EU. Enlist the help of an attorney if needed. Checking the legal aspect off your list will be a huge relief.
Also, consider cultural marriage traditions. For example, will you be expected to be married before cohabitating? Will one party be expected to support the union financially on their own? Who plans the wedding? Etc.
Also take into account practical considerations, such as career opportunities, healthcare, overall quality of life, purchasing a home, and whether you’ll be able to easily travel home to visit. Many of the most successful international couples begin the journey of moving on to the next level by both parties agreeing to trial periods in each country before they make a final decision on where they want to settle down for this next chapter of their life.
Conclusion: How to Make International Dating a Success
International dating is about more than finding love, it’s also about blending cultures, traditions, and families. The challenges of long-distance relationships may feel intimidating, but with the right person, they can be overcome. There are many couples who have successfully found the romance of a lifetime across borders.
Just keep in mind that every successful international couple began as two people looking for love, possibly on an international dating site, just like you. They found their person and happiness, and you can, too. We encourage you to explore international dating sites, including both user and expert reviews. There’s a great chance that the person you’re looking for is waiting for you somewhere in the world at this very moment. Now, you have the tools to find them.
