Sex 101: How To Tie BDSM Knots
by John Santana
No matter how new you are to the BDSM community, you’d want to seem experienced. Googling how to tie the best BDSM knots when your partner is naked in bed is embarrassing. Tying someone and something up is different. You don’t want to tie your partner up as if they are an item. It can be painful.
There are tricks to tie BDSM knots. They fit different sexual plays. Getting your game right is a big turn-on.
How To Tie BDSM Knots?
Before we go into tying BDSM knots, you must first understand the different purposes they serve. Rope bondage is usually associated with a rape fantasy. One person gets tied up and pretends to struggle to escape.
To get the essence right, the knot can either be handcuff-style or restrain-style. Using rope as handcuffs is quite literal. Both of the person’s wrists are tied together and unable to spread open.
Using knots to restrain someone means tying the person’s hand to a stable object such as the bed frame or a pole. You can tie only one hand or both. There can be a considerable amount of space between the mounting object and the wrists to give some room for movement.
Putting the action into words may not help you visualize. Therefore, we have included links to the respective knots so you can follow them step by step.
1. Single Column Tie
A single column tie is the most commonly used knot in the BDSM community. The column refers to the limb that gets tied up, whether it be a leg or an arm. This knot gets the job done without putting too much pressure on their wrists.
Fold your rope in the middle and wrap the doubled rope on your partner’s wrist or whichever column of your choice. After two wraps, hold the bight (the center of the rope) and pull it towards your partner’s arm. Then, pull the bight under the two wraps and out.
Pull gently until you have a big enough loop in the end. Put your bight through the loop twice. Your knot is basically done. Run a test to make sure it is secured yet not too tight to cause discomfort.
– Watch this video on how to tie a single column tie on YouTube here.
2. Double Column Tie
A Double column tie passes through either both of your wrists or legs. It acts like a handcuff to give limited momentum and significantly reduces the person’s mobility. Once the person is tied up, it will be hard to move around.
To tie a double column tie, you first need to know how much space you want (or your partner wants) between the two columns. Binding two limbs tightly together can be unpleasant. Once you have settled on the space, you can get the rope.
Again, bend the rope in half. Hold the bight and wrap it around both wrists twice. Run the bight through the center of two wrists. Make a loop and tie the knot twice. Pull it backward to secure it.
– Watch this video on how to tie a single column tie on YouTube here.
How To Choose The Right Rope?
Bondage ropes are a special type of rope. You should not use industrial ropes or ropes not made for BDSM at all to avoid injuries. Normal ropes are made for tying objects. Therefore, the surface is often rough to enhance grip. If you use this type of rope on people, it would easily cut their skin.
There are many types of ropes you can choose from. They can either be natural or synthetic. They provide different sensations. It is entirely up to you, whichever one feels good.
Examples of natural ropes are bamboo rope, silk rope, and cotton rope. Since they are made from natural materials, it is unlikely to cause an allergic reaction to the skin. If you have sensitive skin, these ropes will work better. Besides, most people find natural ropes to feel more gentle.
Natural ropes tend to be softer than synthetic ropes. Thus, it restrains the limbs more comfortably. It is usually easier to untie since there is less grip. It would not hurt even for beginners learning how to tie a BDSM knot.
Synthetic ropes include polyester rope, nylon rope, and synthetic hemp rope. Since synthetic ropes mimic the texture of real ropes, it feels rougher but most of them would not do any damage to your skin. Also, synthetic ropes tend to last longer thanks to the durable materials used to strengthen the structure and minimize wear and tear.
Deciding between natural and synthetic ropes is a personal choice. For newbies, you may try getting both types. In general, quality natural ropes will cost more. Both types are commonly found in sex shops and online stores.
How To Tie The Perfect Knot?
Practice makes perfect. This motto applies to every scenario. Following instructions is one thing and tying the knot without help is another.
At first, you can keep the video on a loop and repeat the steps. After a few tries, you will start memorizing the steps. Then, practice without looking at the tips. Only play the video if you forget about the specific step.
Even if you can smoothly make the perfect knot when you practice, stage fright can still lead to an underwhelming performance. Don’t be discouraged. It will probably take a dozen of in-person trials to get the tightness right.
Moreover, BDSM knots rely on communication a lot. People have different preferences. Some people like it rougher while others prefer comfort. Physical pain is a turn-on for some but a traumatizing experience for others.
The thickness of the rope also matters. A thicker rope feels less tightening due to the larger surface. It could be good for beginners as it is less suffocating. Also, a thicker rope gives more space between the rope and the skin. It gives more wiggle room, which means you can tie the knot tighter but they can still move around a bit without pain.
Ask your partner how they prefer the knot to be. Experiment with the type of rope and style to find the most suitable one for your role-play.
How To Make BDSM Safe?
1. Set a Safe Word
Whatever BDSM you are doing, a safe word should always be present. It keeps tragedies from happening. When things go the unexpected way, either party can end the play with the safe word.
It literally saves lives as you might accidentally be using too much force in choking or tying someone up. Both sides must honor the existence of the safe word. There can be more than one safe word. For example, a word could mean loosen up without stopping while another means stop immediately.
2. Make an Agreement Beforehand
An agreement doesn’t mean a written contract. Consent is an absolute must. Still, your expectations towards BDSM may not match. One party may expect something more docile. A misalignment in expectations can be catastrophic.
Making an agreement beforehand basically goes through everything you are looking forward to. It is easy to see if your idea of BDSM is the same as your partner’s. In most cases, there is nothing that can’t be solved with a little bit of compromise.
3. Take It Slow
Don’t jump into advanced practices even if they seem simple. The thing is, a lot of the tricky moves look easy because the people showing it have been doing it for ages. You are not a professional at it, yet. So, taking it slow protects both yourself and your partner.
When you are doing the BDSM knots, start with a loose tie. You don’t know how the knot will impact your moves. So, giving more room can lower the chance of injuries and accidents. Gradually tighten the knot when you are more comfortable.
The same goes for other cool BDSM tricks you see. Look for an introductory play to experiment. After all, you may like the look of it rather than doing it. There is no reason to waste resources going pro immediately.
4. Do It With an Experienced Partner
Having someone take the lead is the shortcut to mastering BDSM. An experienced lover can show you the safest way to practice it and how to make it more pleasurable. You can meet loads of BDSM partners on online dating platforms like Adult FriendFinder and Ashley Madison.
Your partner can take the lead in bed. You will learn so much from someone from the BDSM community. In addition, if you are joining group sex activities, you should definitely have someone experienced there to control the situation.
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Summary
The BDSM community is thriving. People are enthusiastic to exchange ideas and practice tying knots on each other. Reach out to meet millions of others with equal passion and wild minds.
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