How To Flirt in Your 60s: Being Kind, Not Creepy

Understanding how to flirt in your 60s isn’t as tough as it may seem. At the end of the day, everyone you’ll go on a date with is still just a person, the same as you. Flirting is all about connection and understanding, which doesn’t change with age.

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However, certain things about ourselves certainly do change with age. We don’t mean physically, we mean in terms of life experience, a 65-year-old woman is unlikely to be impressed by the same things she was at 25. We believe everyone out there should have a little flirty fun on their romantic journey, so we’re here to give you some pointers in the right direction. Remember, underneath it all, flirting should be fun, so relax and get into it!

The Core Rules of Flirting

Flirting at any age can feel like a complex topic, but the truth is that it boils down to two main concepts that you should always bear in mind: kindness and confidence.

Kindness is something of a given in the human experience: we must always be nice and kind to those around us. In the case of flirting, though, it may be surprising to consider what kindness really means. A lot of men, in particular, think that the kindness involved in flirting is something akin to worship, falling over yourself to complement your partner’s outfit, hair, or jewelry.

This isn’t the case; instead, the kindness involved in flirting is best thought of as a gentle generosity and thoughtfulness. For instance, it’s not about buying everyone at the bar a drink as a show of generosity, but about choosing to make decisions based on your date’s wants and desires. A parallel to the “buying everyone a drink” example could be deliberately choosing a restaurant best suited to your date’s desires, even if it’s a little more expensive.

Confidence is often a little more straightforward to understand. It’s not about assertiveness and aggression, as is frequently portrayed by self-styled pick-up artists. Instead, it’s about being clear and honest about what you want, and not apologizing for being authentically yourself. There is a fine line to walk here, of course. When learning how to flirt in your 60s, it’s important to be honest and deliberate while not being rude and arrogant. There’s a world of difference between deliberately telling someone you’ll pick them up for dinner at an Italian restaurant and then loudly insisting on that Italian restaurant even after they tell you they don’t like pasta.

Know How to Flirt in Your 60s: Consider What People Want

When flirting, it’s important to know your own strengths and compare them to what your potential partner is looking for. If you’re a tennis lover, for instance, you might not want to date someone who loathes Wimbledon season.

When dating over 60, it’s important to remember that the other person you’re with has a lot of life experience compared to people you may have dated in the past. If you went on a few dates as a young person, then married, and you’re only recently getting back out there, your interactions as a teen won’t be relevant. Think about how your life experience has shaped you: the same is the case for your partner.

Of course, there’s a wide range of different people in the world, all of whom have different wants and desires. However, when talking about how to flirt in your 60s, it may help to break things down into some generalisations.

Men over 60 often want to feel like a hero. They’ve got a lot of life experience, so getting the chance to use it can feel really exciting. As Lisa Copeland from Sixty and Me says, “Can you do me a favor?” can work a little magic!

Most people sixty and over have likely changed a lightbulb in their lives. On top of that, it’s not a terribly difficult task. However, asking a man to come over and change a bulb in a lamp for you can make him feel wanted and useful. Learning how to flirt in your 60s can often boil down to how your prospective partner has felt loved in their previous years. A man who lived a life as a keen handyman might be delighted to come and help you fix a crooked shelf: he will likely feel useful again, and therefore desired.

The aforementioned life experience is present in women over 60, though it’s pretty common for men (of any age) to overlook it. To connect with anyone, but particularly a woman who knows her worth and doesn’t want to be spoken down to, be genuinely curious and interested about who she is.

Of course, going on a date and interrogating your partner isn’t quite a core tenet of how to flirt in your 60s. Striking a balance between interrogation and disinterest can feel quite hard. Try aiming for supplementary questions over brand-new questions. For instance, if you ask your date what they did for work, and they tell you they were a librarian, ask about the library they worked in or any books they particularly enjoyed shelving. By being a little frugal with your words and asking for more details about their life, you can encourage your partner to speak in an organic and self-driven way.

Doing a Little Introspection

Introspection can be a tough nut to crack, especially for those who are a little older. A key part of learning how to flirt in your 60s, though, is knowing what you bring to the table. Understanding who you are and what benefit you could bring to a partner’s life will enable you to, in a sense, sell yourself.

When flirting over 60, it’s important to remember that your partner already has an established life. They don’t need to rely on you for income or a home, but they want someone who can offer them companionship and conversation. When growing into an understanding of how to flirt in your 60s, remember that your words and your intellect are by far the most important things you bring to the table. Conversation and companionship are the key, and offering them can create a relationship.

Flirting and going on dates in your sixties can be a strange experience, especially if you’re entering into that world after not dating for a long time. However, with kindness, confidence, and good conversation, you can learn how to flirt in your 60s and have a lot of fun.