How to Build Attraction With Women: 3 Levels That Matter

Learning how to build attraction with women might seem like a tall order. The truth of the matter, though, is that once you understand what attraction is, it becomes easier to manifest that in those around you. Here, we’ll talk about how to build attraction with the people you’re dating and see more dating success.

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We’re putting this piece together because we want you to have meaningful and fulfilling connections! Our entire site is about allowing our users to have that, and the truth is that connections tend to start with a spark. The good news about making a spark is that as long as you have a flint and steel, you can always make it happen! Now, let’s break down how you can forge that flint and steel for yourself.

How to Build Attraction: The Core, and The 3 Levels

Building attraction with your partner can be daunting. It’s a process that requires some amount of authentic intimacy and deliberate action, and putting yourself out there like that can be scary. The core “mantra” to remember when it comes to building attraction, though, is actually quite straightforward: kindness and confidence.

Everyone in the world wants to feel desired and looked after. That’s the cornerstone of all attraction: feeling that someone wants you for who you are, and that they’ll keep you safe. This is true regardless of gender, sexuality, or anything else, so keep it in mind. As we talk about these three key areas of attraction, always bear in mind that kindness and confidence are key to learning how to build attraction.

Physical

As Science of People shares on its site, the most important trait of physical attraction is availability. In the context of dating and relationships, this “availability” could be thought of as willingness or eagerness. Are you showing that you’re available and eager to get to know your date a little more intimately? Or, instead, are you keeping your distance and trying to avoid being too clingy or intense?

Build physical attraction with physical signals that you’re interested in someone. Use open body language when you speak with them, and don’t hold your hands or other barriers between the two of you. 

Make deliberate eye contact when you’re speaking with them, and smile: you’re genuinely interested in what they’re saying, and you’re showing that with your actions.

These physical cues are small, but they work wonders in our subconscious brains. By forming a connection through eye contact, light physical contact, and open body language, you can show your attraction without being threatening.

Emotional

Emotional connection is a little more complex than physical attraction, since we don’t have physical cues for our more subtle emotions. When learning how to build attraction emotionally, remember the “kindness and confidence” that we mentioned before. In your conversations, be authentic in your opinions, desires, and words.

Genuinely and authentically ask what their day at work was like, for instance. Then, ask for more details. Understanding their emotional state allows you to understand their mindset while you’re speaking to them.

Don’t limit yourself to work chat, though: speak about everything! As dating coach Sami Wunder shares on her site, displaying genuine interest in your partner’s passions makes them feel valued. Learning about your partner through how they see the world and their hobbies allows you to form a deep, strong bond in no time.

Energy

We all have fluctuating energy levels throughout the day. First thing in the morning, after a steaming-hot cup of coffee, we’re full of beans! Then, usually around 4 pm, we can tend to drop off, feeling tired from our hard work.

Matching your energy level to that of your partner is key to learning how to build attraction. Try taking the time to use our methods below to build or release your energy so that you and your partner can match up.

• Building Energy
  • A Change of Scenery: Shake off the negative energy of the workday by taking a moment for yourself. Allow yourself to exist in a “between” place for a few moments, catch your breath, and then reunite with your partner.
  • Comedy: As strange as it sounds, watching a little stand-up comedy on your phone can be a huge energy booster! Try it out, and laugh to boost your mood before you get home.
• Releasing Energy
  • Grounding Yourself: It can be helpful to remind yourself of the place you’re in. Mentally list off what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste to bring yourself into the present moment.
  • Burn it Off: A trip to the gym or even a walk around the block can be a great way to get some pent-up energy out of your system.

We hope that building the attraction between you and your partner, or even you and a blind date, now seems a lot simpler. Always be kind and confident, and you’ll be using the key lessons of how to build attraction 24/7.