How Long Should a First Date Last? The Answer May Surprise You
To answer the question, “How long should a first date last?”, there are a lot of behind-the-scenes questions that we’ve also got to ask. For instance, will this be a blind date? Are you already friends with this person? Are you doing something you’re both already into? Here, we’re going to demystify things a little and break down how long you should aim to have a first date last.
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We want to share this knowledge with you for a very simple reason: fun. Dating should be fun, and we want to make sure that it is! By helping you make your dates more enjoyable and engaging, we’re helping you to find a relationship that shares those qualities. Or, if your date doesn’t lead to a relationship, we’re helping you to just have a fun time with a potential new friend. So, without further ado: how long should a first date last, really?
How Long Should a First Date Last? As Long as You Want!
This is, perhaps, the most frustrating answer that we could give to this question, but a first date should last as long as you feel it should. It’s really something that you have to play by ear, and keep an eye on whether you’re having fun or not.
If you and your date are both having a great time and neither of you has anything else on, then it’s worth keeping the fun going! However, try to recognize when it’s time to tap out and end the date quickly and respectfully.
Short and Sweet
As AlikeProff shares on their site, sometimes keeping it short and sweet is the best way to answer “how long should a first date last?”. It’s an opportunity to evaluate your initial chemistry and see if you’ve got a connection. It can be extra great to have a small date like this because it doesn’t come with any pressure to have an extended commitment. You could plan other things around a short date, and you’ll know you’ve got a great day planned regardless of how the date goes.
The way to make a short and sweet coffee date go well is to ask authentic and insightful questions. Don’t feel the need to delve into a therapist-like deep dive immediately, but asking about your date’s hobbies, work, and family can be a good way to gather information about them. Over time, you can build a picture of what kind of person they are, which will help you make decisions about being with them.
Getting-To-Know-You
A longer date can also be wonderful, with a dinner date often going for two to four hours, depending on several things. That may seem like a very daunting commitment, but by picking something with continuous novelty like a restaurant or art gallery, you’ve always got something new to talk about.
Knowing how long should a first date last in the case of a dinner date is much more dependent upon the conversational vibe that you’re feeling. If you and your date are happily chatting away, then there’s no reason to end at dessert. You could go out for another drink, a walk, or any open-ended activity.
At some point, though, the conversation is likely to become stilted and tough: it’s only natural to run out of things to talk about or just get tired. What’s important is not forcing the date to continue just because you feel like it should. If you notice things are getting a little tougher, end the date quickly and politely. A simple phrase like “This has been great, and I’d love to see you again soon, but I think I’m gonna head home now. Can I call you a cab or wait with you for one?” can work wonders.
End on a High Note
We’ve been touching on this throughout the article, but the exact number of seconds that a date lasts for really doesn’t matter as much as you might think. Instead, the question “how long should a first date last?” might be better phrased as “when should I end the first date?”
When you notice that things are drawing to a conclusion, it’s wise to end on a high note. As dating expert Damona Hoffman points out: “If you let a date drag on […] you may be ending on a lull.” Consider keeping the date shorter to avoid this lull, or end with something a little more high-energy, like a spontaneous scoop of ice cream or a fun, silly joke.
First dates can be a tricky minefield to navigate. From asking the right questions to wearing the right outfit, it can feel like there are a hundred ways to mess it up! As long as you remember to be authentic and keep to our “how long should a first date last?” guide, you’ll be able to have fun and forge a connection.
