How To Date a Widow + Best Dating Platforms To Find Her Online
by John Santana
Everybody shares the same right to love and be loved. However, traumatic experiences can take away your faith in that. After losing your partner, getting yourself back in the dating field is drastically different than a breakup. You never intended to start searching again but you know it is time to move on.
Putting yourself out there is stressful in the beginning. But online dating can become a reassuring way to meet new people with great flexibility. You can bounce out of the conversation when it gets too overwhelming. It is up to you when and how to enter the game.
Choosing the wrong dating sites can crush your self-esteem. Some sites are not widow-friendly. You need to equip yourself with the best tools for your next endeavor. For widows, here are some of the best online dating sites to get back on your feet and practice your somewhat rusty dating skills.
Don’t have time to read the complete article? Checkout our favorite picks below.
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Best Widows Dating Sites
Adult FriendFinder
Pros:
- Millions of active users every day
- Best for finding casual sex and making friends
- Members are considerate and kind-hearted
Cons:
- Too many ads
Being married for so many years puts you in a comfort zone. You haven’t been practicing your flirting skills for years. To police your tactics, Adult FriendFinder can help you pick up where you left off before marriage.
It is the perfect training ground for those who are slightly introverted and shy to talk to new people in real life. You can avoid all the awkwardness with face-to-face conversations and practice your social skills.
Adult FriendFinder has a massive user base. The number just surpassed 90 million last year. In a massive pool this size, it comes down to your willingness to reply to others and send message requests. Dedicated daters will get at least a dozen new dates every night. This intuitive platform allows users who are not familiar with online dating to find their second love.
Premium online dating sites like Adult FriendFinder allow you to filter out people according to your own preferences. There are so many more specific filters that traditional dating sites lack. Whether you have specific religion or education requirements, Adult FriendFinder will get them sorted.
The ember quality is always a big concern for those who haven’t tried online dating. Members of Adult FriendFinder are known to be accommodating. No one will judge your past or treat it like gossip. Your stories are valued and listened to in this community.
To offer such excellent materials at an affordable price, you can figure that Adult FriendFinder relies on ads to make things work. However, the ads can seem quite excessive at times with several popping up on the same screen. As long as you can look past that, this dating site is a no-brainer.
2. Ashley Madison
Pros:
- Amazing for having an affair
- 1.8 million visits monthly
- Highly protective for female users.
Cons:
- More women than guys
Dating co-workers or through friends is too risky if your dating preference focuses on discretion, especially considering how rumors can fly about you back in the dating scene. Ashley Madison was created specifically for women looking to date in secret.
For widows, there could be too many speculations and judgments from people around. They tell you when is a good time to jump back to the dating pool, what to do, and why you should not move on so fast. No one needs to hear that bullshit.
Hop on to Ashley Madison to find yourself the loveliest low-key affairs. For once, you can finally forget about the pressure. Date who you want and be who you want to be. Everyone has something to keep to themselves. No one will ask excessive questions. All that matters is how good you are in bed.
Ashley Madison is easily the best platform for a rebound. People are easygoing. Whenever you feel the atmosphere is no longer right, hop off anytime. It is a healing place for your soul as you will meet plenty of others going through the same.
The only thing to look out for is that there are more women than men on Ashley Madison. It could be unfavorable as you have to compete with more people to score a date. Sometimes, it can be hard to stand out from the crowd if you don’t have anything spectacular on your profile.
3. Bang Locals
Pros
- Perfect for hookups as people are not looking for commitments
- Members are friendly so you can make friends without having to meet
- Lots of sexy profiles
Cons
- Fake profiles
To get over losing your husband, sleeping with someone is a morally questionable but effective method. The truth is, only by letting yourself out there that you can finally let go. This tactic has worked for all the widows on Bang Locals.
Bang Locals is a no-commitment hookup site. It aims to get everyone laid whenever and wherever they want. It uses location search to automatically find your profiles in your area. You should not expect to find love here. It is the place people go when they want someone through the night.
Don’t let it fool you though. Despite its hookup nature, members are surprisingly friendly. A lot of them are here to get over a phase in life. As such, they are much more willing to open up and chat with people. You will be able to make lots of friends. They might not ask you out and are content being online friends. That’s the magic of this dating site.
Alternatively, if the love letter exchanges can’t satisfy you, Bang Locals is known for the million hot profiles. Members are encouraged to embrace their sexuality. You will see sexy photos on every profile. It helps ascertain their physical attributes. Thus, you are more attracted to connecting with them.
If Bang Locals sounds too good to be true, here is a downside that you should know. Occasionally, you will run into some fake profiles on the site. There is no ID verification process. The site relies on members reporting fake profiles to keep the community clean.
As you can imagine, that leaves criminals a huge chance to infiltrate. Users should exercise caution. Don’t expect all profiles to be genuine. You need to filter them out manually.
How To Embrace a New Relationship As a Widow?
At first, the thought of dating again is like mission impossible. You are both physically and mentally not prepared. Having someone else to listen to your most intimate thoughts and touch you can be repulsive.
Everyone starts somewhere. While you are probably still grieving the loss of your partner, the loneliness and desire for a close relationship is the motivation to keep trying. Some people feel guilty about dating again, often postponing the date they intend to jump back into the dating pool.
You should not feel any guilt about starting a new romance. Time is linear and only goes forward. It is unfortunate that you lost the love of your life but your life is still ahead of you. You have the ability to nurture another beautiful relationship.
Don’t listen to others about “dating too soon is a betrayal for your deceased partner.” These people don’t know anything. There is never a time limit on the appropriate duration to mourn. When you feel you want to go for it, go for it.
Also, you can start by casually chatting with someone online. There is no need to jump into bed the same day. You get to control to take things slow. It is up to you how you want to deal with it.
Signs That You Are Ready For a Relationship As a Widow
Humans are often stronger than they appear. Although no matter how much time has passed, you still feel like you will never recover from your loss. Still, you may actually be ready to date without realizing it. Take a look at these signs to see if they describe you well.
1. You Are Simply Forcing Yourself To Remember Your Husband
Letting go is scary. The moment you wake up and can’t remember your husband’s favorite coffee hits you like a tornado. Then, you frantically put up all his photos to remind yourself that he is here. These acts are signs of over-griefing.
When you are forcing yourself to be sad and reminded of everything about him, you know you have moved on fairly well. Griefing is a normal part of experiencing the death of a loved one but it should not dominate the rest of your life. Keep everything as it is. Next time you forget something about him, instead of pushing yourself to remember, try to give yourself a break. It could be the right time to start over.
2. You Are Starting To Live Like How You Were Before Married
It is not easy to realize how prominent the chances are if you live alone. Keeping a journal helps track down all the subtle differences. For those that have been married for a long period, it is hard to remember how life was without their partner.
Gradually, you start feeling your life is not the same. You are doing things you haven’t done in 10 years. That means you are adapting to being single. That said, you should only start considering a new start if you have spent some time alone and got used to living by yourself.
It is the way to make sure you have thought this through and that dating someone is good for your mental health. If you have been waking up and feeling optimistic about the day, log into your online dating account for another magical journey.
3. You Start Not Comparing Everyone To Your Former Spouse
Of course, you married the best. It’s natural to compare everyone against him from that point on. Despite having a good model, to truly embrace a new relationship, you must not always compare your potential dates to your passed-away spouse. It is quite unfair for him as he is independent of anyone.
It is a phase that most widows have gone through when they want to start dating someone new. Eventually, you will get over it. If you have this trait, you should probably wait longer until you date someone new. At some point along the road, you will find yourself seeing your new partner without the shadow of your spouse. That is the perfect sign showing that you have moved on.
What Should You Not Do In a New Relationship?
If you have been pushing yourself out there, good for you. It is a milestone to celebrate. You must have noticed it by now, dating as a widow is challenging. There are so many etiquettes to learn. Here are some tips that you should always remember.
Regardless of how much you consider your deceased spouse still your “husband,” do not ever use the term “my husband” in front of your date. Granted, you still have huge feelings for him. But you must know how unfair it is for your potential lover to hear you call another man “your husband.”
It does not leave him much room to wiggle with. In the future, it will be hard for him to position himself in this relationship. He should not have to feel like a replacement for your deceased partner.
Relationships are about honesty but you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t have to tell your date about your marriage history. It is good to reveal that you lost your partner so he can accommodate your emotional needs. Everything else about how it all happened is not essential. You can share the information as you please.
Summary
Congratulations on mustering the courage. It is not easy to get this far. Life will not be the same after losing your partner. But for now, it’s time to move on. Practice your dating skills on the above dating sites perfect for widows and meet some of the most charming people in town. You deserve love as much as everyone else!
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