How to Date a French Man
by John Santana
Finding a romantic partner in the City of Love is a dream for many. After all, who wouldn’t love a date in France, admiring the Eiffel Tower, tasting local wines in vineyards, and going on long romantic walks in the park?
Dating a French man can be one hell of a trip, but if you’re interested in pursuing a serious relationship, it’s important to engage in their culture.
Let’s face it. Smoldering good looks are the first thing we notice about French men. But they’re more than just their looks—they’re passionate, charming, and open-minded, the latter being the one foreigners like the most. They’re open to exploring new things, like modern dating, compared to other Europeans. But before you say je t’aime, here’s what you should know about dating a French man.
Understanding the French Culture
The French take great pride in their language and culture. English is widely spoken, but they prefer to engage in their local language. Artistry is something they deeply appreciate, evident from the fact that art is everywhere in France. Food and wine are part of their cultural heritage too.
One unique thing about France is that they don’t do “dating” per se. The closest thing they have is a rendezvous, which is a French term for “meeting.” Blind dates are a no-no because they prefer to get to know people through slow and steady meetings, usually in groups. For them, it’s more of a “seeing someone” type of thing than grand romantic dates. It’s important for them to feel a sense of familiarity, gradually developing a level of intimacy as time goes by.
Meeting French Men
Sorry, but your dreams of accidentally bumping into a cute French guy in the streets of France and them falling in love at first sight don’t actually happen in real life—it’s not like the movies at all. The best way to meet a French man is by attending cultural exchange events or dinner parties. Better yet, through social circles.
Generally, they dislike the idea of formal dates. You can also try your luck using online dating apps. In a survey by Harris Interactive in a group of French adults, 41% of them confirmed that using online dating apps and sites has increased their chances of meeting someone. So if you can’t go to France yet, this is your best option.
Once you get your chance to meet a French man, it’s your turn to make a good impression. French men love fashionable, sophisticated women. They have a strong fashion sense, and they’d love to see you dress up, but don’t overdo it. It’s best to keep it presentable and elegant. French men also love people who can carry a conversation. Friendly debates are their thing. If you’re shy and timid, brush up on your conversational skills because they love to talk a lot.
Dating French Men
This is where it gets a bit different. French men are never really into defining a relationship. After a couple of outings together, they assume that you’re exclusively together. Saying “I love you” comes quite naturally to them. Public displays of affection are so common that you shouldn’t be surprised to see people kissing and fondling each other in public spaces.
One red flag that you might see in dating a French man is that when you say “no,” they sometimes think of it as you wanting them to be more persistent. Though it can be hard because of language barriers, you have to clearly communicate what you want and be firm in your decisions.
Cultural Differences in Dating
Dating in France is more relaxed and casual. Going out on group dates is pretty common, so it’d be best if you could socialize well. Talking about the future can be a turn-off for them, especially if you haven’t been going out for long. Exclusivity talks and labels aren’t really their thing. Also, you’ll know it’s getting serious if they introduce you to their family.
What French Men Find Appealing
If you want a French man to like you, you’ve got to have confidence and wit. Downplaying yourself would never get you far because French men like it when someone is sassy enough to keep up with them. Plus points if you make them laugh. Their humor is somewhat sarcastic and uncensored, and if you can play along, you can get along.
For French men, kissing comes naturally, but it’s a sign that you two are seeing each other exclusively. Sex on the first few dates isn’t taboo either, but they don’t consider it a hookup. If you’re into sex, it’s fine; if not, it’s fine too. But before going intimate with him, be sure to tell him what feels comfortable for you, especially since their dating culture is a bit different than traditional ones.
Differences in Lifestyle and Etiquette
In France, personal talks are reserved for families and close friends. You can’t expect them to tell a lot about their personal stories and family history at your first meeting. They like to talk but are not talkative enough to the point that they’d willingly share intimate details about themselves. Even inviting people to your home can be too personal, so don’t feel bad if they only meet you in public places at first. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you; they just want to get to know you better. Value their privacy and respect their culture, so he knows you’re here for a long time.
Are You Ready to Find Love in France?
It’s a different world out there when you choose to date a French man. They’re not one and the same. It involves a lot of learning about their culture and understanding the differences in how they view relationships. It can be hard at first. Challenges in communication and lifestyle are inevitable. But if you’ve got an open mind to try new things by dating someone different from your culture, you can navigate dating a French man like a pro.
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