Dating A Woman Who is 10 Years Older Than You: What It’s Really Like?
by John Santana
A couple of years ago, you would have been labeled a “cougar hunter” or something along those lines if you decided to pursue a relationship with an older woman. Although it wasn’t an insult, it did mean that you were doing something out of the normal range of societal standards.
But thankfully, today’s society has become more accepting of younger men dating older women. More and more people have come to realize that age is just a number.
If you are a younger man considering or interested in dating an older woman, then this guide will be extremely helpful.
We will explore the pros and cons of dating an older woman to give you an unbiased insight into what you can expect from this relationship. Our tips for dating an older woman will also show you how to make the relationship work regardless of the age difference.
The Benefits Of Dating An Older Woman
Dating an older woman can be an amazing experience. Especially if you are a younger man who is interested in learning about life from a more mature and equal partner.
There is a reason why there are so many huge age gaps in relationships. Let’s take a look at some of the pros of dating an older woman.
Older Women Know That They Want
Are you tired of dating girls who just don’t know what they want? They don’t know whether they want to date casually or if they are looking for a serious relationship. Younger women are often indecisive and almost childlike. They can’t even decide what they want to eat for supper, let alone make a big decision that will help them plan ahead.
When you date an older woman, you won’t have to go through this frustration. Older women have already gone through their indecisive phase, and they know exactly what they want in a partner, in a relationship, and in life.
So does this mean that all older women want the same thing? No. Some will want to get serious quickly and look at marriage and being a wife, while others just want to have some fun with no strings attached.
If an older woman is divorced, the chances are that she may not want to commit to anything serious. This can be very refreshing for younger men who are not looking for anything serious just yet.
But regardless of what an older woman wants, you will know what it is. She is not going to play the guessing game with you because, quite frankly, she’s been there and done that. She knows exactly what she wants, and she will make sure that she directly communicates her needs to you.
Older Women Have More Life Experience
An older woman has been around for a longer time than you and has most likely experienced much more than you have. Although this may not be the case for everyone, it is for the majority of younger men who want to date older women.
Older women have most likely been in more relationships. They have a better idea of what life has to offer and have had more experience with the ups and downs of life.
How does this benefit you? Well, this means that older women are wiser and can help with your relationship as well as offer great advice through their own life experiences. It’s like having a smart partner who will guide you through life.
As a male, this may be a little different for you as you are familiar with taking the lead in a relationship. But when you are dating an older woman, you are going to notice that she is much more experienced in life.
Older Women Are Usually More Emotionally Stable
When you are younger, you take more risks, behave a bit more recklessly, and just live in the moment. While there is nothing wrong with this kind of attitude toward life, it does create some confusion as to where you are emotionally and where you want to be.
Emotional stability is a very important element in forming healthy relationships. It creates a sense of calmness and ensures that the relationship is drama-free.
When you date an older woman, you won’t have to worry about having an emotionally unstable partner. She doesn’t play games or beat around the bush. An older woman is a mature woman who has most likely faced many challenges in her life and learned a lot from them.
Over time, she may have learned to manage her emotions better than a younger woman. She is more secure and confident in her emotions, and she clearly communicates what she wants and expects from her partner in the relationship.
Older Women Are Often More Financially Stable
Although money should not be the reason you date someone, having a financially stable partner can be very pleasant.
Often, as a woman ages, she becomes more self-sufficient financially. This is a huge relief for young men who want a partner who equally contributes to the relationship, especially where money is concerned.
Older women are often at that stage in their lives where they are more secure with themselves and can take care of their own needs. They are not reliant on others to look after them. Mature women have had enough time to get their financial aspects in order, and they may even help you out financially.
Older Women Are More Independent
Dating an independent woman is an amazing experience. They don’t require you for anything, but rather desire you for something.
What does this mean for you? Freedom and space. Unlike younger women, who are clingy and needy, an older woman is happy to entertain herself while you go out with your guy friends. You don’t need to constantly text her or see if she’s mad at you for choosing to hang out with your friends over spending time with her.
Another thing is that an older woman knows how to manage her business. Of course, she will still need you for things, but you won’t have to hold her hand every step of the way. She can be quite content doing her day-to-day activities herself.
Older Women Are Strong Conversationalists
The biggest advantage of dating an older woman is that she has better communication skills. They have had more than enough experience playing games and going in circles about what they need to say or want to share.
This usually means that you will enjoy a more direct style of communication in your relationship. You won’t have to second-guess what she’s trying to say or how she feels because she will communicate these things to you herself.
Clear communication is vital for any relationship. So having a partner who is straightforward and doesn’t beat around the bush can lead to a more productive and healthy relationship.
Dating a woman 10 years older can also improve the intellectual side of the relationship because she has very interesting perspectives on life to share. Older women are much more developed with their opinions about things, and they also have the experience to back up these opinions.
It’s always fascinating to hear about someone’s first-hand experiences with things, and dating an older woman can give you just that.
Older Women Are More Appreciative
When a woman has already experienced the ups and downs of life, she learns to appreciate the simple things. So if you choose to date a mature woman, she may appreciate just spending time with you, relaxing at home, or the small romantic and sweet gestures you make.
Of course, you can go all out, and she will appreciate your efforts, but it’s not necessary with an older woman.
But when you date a younger woman, be prepared to splurge on date nights and gifts. Younger women often appreciate grand gestures far more than simple things.
Older Women Are More Sexually Experienced
Without a doubt, older women are more sexually experienced than their younger partners. This means that they are more in sync with their bodies and have enough experience to know what people enjoy in intimate situations.
If you’re concerned that dating an older woman means having to compromise your sexual drive, then you are in for a surprise. According to research, women reach their sexual peaks in their 30s but maintain a constant level of sexual capacity up to the age of 55.
It is also believed that women who are past their peak childbearing age are more likely to be sexually open and more sexually active, as they are no longer worried about unplanned pregnancies.
Older Women Have a More Relaxed Attitude About Life
Most men tend to be scared of women who know what they want because sometimes these women get serious too quickly. They want to find a partner, become a wife, and then a mother. This kind of pressure is very nerve-wracking, especially for younger men who haven’t even thought about whether they want kids in the future.
However, even when older women know exactly what they want, they are usually more relaxed about these types of life goals. They are more focused on their own goals that they have set and don’t pay too much attention to what society says commitment should look like.
This relaxed pace can be very inviting to younger guys. It helps them grow into the relationship and gradually move toward the next big step without feeling pressed.
The Challenges Of Dating An Older Woman
It is common to see that younger guys find older women attractive and that they can have successful relationships despite their age gap. But not everything is sunshine and rainbows. There are some aspects of dating an older woman that most people would consider negative.
With that being said, you may find that some of these challenges don’t even matter to you, or you may even see them in a positive light.
Let’s get started
People Are Going To Judge You
Even though society has become more accepting of age-gap relationships, some people still have strong feelings about younger people dating older people, particularly younger men dating older women.
These people believe that age is much more than just a number. Some of them will talk to you about it, while others will whisper behind your back. Sometimes it will come from strangers who shouldn’t even care about your life choices at all, and other times it might come from close family members.
A lot of this judgment will be based on how much older the woman you’re dating is or appears to be. If she is only a bit older than you or you both look like you’re in the same age range, then you may not hear much from people.
If you have an age gap of under seven years, then people will most likely still treat your relationship as normal. Once you hit about that 7-year mark, then that’s when you will see a lot of the stigma.
If you are a young man dating an older woman, you need to be prepared for these stigmas. You might even find double standards in specific gendered relationships. Older men dating younger women may not face as much stigma as older women dating young men do.
When you are faced with these kinds of challenges, it’s important to remember that your relationship is between you and your partner. If you both are happy together, then you shouldn’t worry about what others think.
You Are Both At Different Life Stages
You two will be at different life stages, especially if you are dating a woman who is 10 years older than you. They will be going through things in their stage of life that are different from the ones you are dealing with. The bigger the age gap, the more you will notice this.
They might be dealing with a different set of health issues than you are. The things a 40-year-old woman has to worry about are very different from the things a 30-year-old woman has to deal with.
The same applies to their career and finances. A 30-year-old woman may not worry about retirement funds, but a 40-year-old woman most definitely will.
An older woman may be busy growing her career and could have more financial security than you do, which can cause conflict, especially if she wants to go on vacation and dine at fancy restaurants.
If she is divorced, then you need to accept her past relationships and maybe even the fact that she has children, which could be a priority for her.
The point here is that you may find yourself dealing with life situations sooner than you expected. This means you may have to grow up quickly and deal with life situations from your age bracket as well as theirs.
Different Social References
If you are a younger man dating an older woman, then you need to be prepared for different references to pop culture that you may not understand. A 10-year age difference is a huge generational gap, which can sometimes cause a disconnect in your relationship.
You Have To Be Emotionally Mature, or It Won’t Work
As we previously highlighted, older women are not fans of drama. They are not interested in going through the instability that they have already been through when they were younger and in relationships.
Now, they are not expecting you to become an old, boring man, because they do enjoy the fun you bring to the relationship, but they do expect you to act like an adult when it comes to certain things.
They are going to want you to communicate like an adult and be emotionally mature. If you lack in this department, then you may want to stick to dating girls your own age.
Older women don’t have the time or patience to deal with men who are emotionally unstable and full of drama. But if you are younger, they will be more understanding.
If you are serious about dating an older woman, you need to respect them, behave like an adult, and communicate clearly.
Older Women May Have Baggage
As we navigate through life, our baggage accumulates. Some people have more baggage than others. You need to be willing to accept that the older woman you are interested in dating may have baggage. She may have children, traumatic relationships she’s been through, or ex-husbands.
Is baggage a bad thing? Although some people see baggage as a negative thing, it’s something that defines who you are today. You are interested in her because of the person that she is today, and her life experience has shaped her into this.
If you want to date an older woman, you have to accept her baggage. This does not imply that you will become a father to her children right away. It just means that you need to accept who she is and not judge her for her past decisions.
There May be complications if you want kids
A woman is only able to have children for a certain period of her life. When she turns 40, the chances of her falling pregnant are very low. Also, bear in mind that menopause kicks in between the ages of 45 and 50.
So, if you want to have biological kids with your spouse, this could be a problem depending on how much older she is than you.
This can be seen in a positive light if you both don’t want to have kids or if you are open to adoption.
She May Be Expecting More Than You Can Offer
Some older women love the idea of dating young men, but they still desire the maturity and life experience that a man their own age has to offer.
This could indicate incredible sexual chemistry but difficulty communicating with each other or doing anything that does not involve intimacy.
This doesn’t mean that you are the problem, nor does it mean that you should change who you are. It just means that she is looking for something else in a partner.
Tips For Dating An Older Woman
When it comes to dating an older woman, we have some useful relationship advice that can help you form a successful and healthy relationship with your partner.
Accept The Differences
When there is a 10-year age gap between you and your partner, you can expect there to be huge differences, in interests to perspectives.
It’s important to accept these differences rather than force your partner to conform to your choices and lifestyle, or vice versa. You both need to be supportive of each other rather than work against each other.
You need to make your partner feel heard and understood. Show them that you genuinely care about them, validate their feelings, and appreciate them. Listen to what they have to say, applaud their successes, and cheer them up when they are feeling down.
Be Respectful And Kind
It takes a lot of effort to make any relationship work, especially one with a huge age gap. To make sure you have a successful relationship, you both need to put in equal effort.
You need to respect each other’s boundaries and opinions, value your partner for who they are, and be honest and open with one another.
Do not try to change your partner, and always be open to compromise. But remember, compromises should come from both parties, not just one.
Constructively Find Solutions To Problems
Every couple faces its fair share of problems, but what matters is how you tackle them. When a situation gets heated, take some time to calm down so that you don’t say or do something that you will regret later on. However, make certain that you discuss the issue and do not simply brush it under the rug.
When you are ready to discuss the problem, explain how you feel and avoid blaming your partner. Focus on the problem at hand instead of bringing up past problems, and work together to find a solution that you both agree on.
Communicate Clearly And Assertively
Older women often know what they want, and they are very straightforward about their needs. So it is a good idea to not beat around the bush with an older woman and rather directly communicate what you want to say.
The chances are that they will respect you more if you assertively state your needs with confidence.
Know How To Deal With Criticism
If you are in a serious relationship with an older woman, you need to be prepared for a lot of blunt questions and nasty, impolite remarks from friends and family members.
There are plenty of stereotypes about relationships where the woman is older than the man. You may want to prepare a few different responses before being confronted by friends and family.
Remember to be honest and specific when you explain your reasons for being together. If things get a little out of control, turn the tables. If your relationship is healthy and mutual, then explain how it has nothing to do with age but everything to do with how you both feel about each other.
Make Sure You Are Both On The Same Page
When it comes to any relationship, both people need to be on the same page in terms of goals, especially if things are serious.
You both need to be very clear about what you expect from the relationship, and you both need to know each other’s future life goals. Are you both heading in the same direction? Can you work together towards your goals? Are you both willing to meet somewhere in the middle to make it work?
Reassure Her
It is very likely for the older woman you are dating to feel self-conscious about the fact that she is older than you. More so if you have a 10-year age gap.
She may not say anything, but subconsciously, all of the cougar things on TV and online may be getting to her. That is why you need to reassure her that you are not dating her just because she is older than you but because of how you feel about her.
If you are serious about her, make the extra effort to let her know that her age is irrelevant to you. Tell her what you admire and find attractive about her. Make her feel special and loved.
Create Some Space
Balance is crucial in any healthy relationship. You need to take some time out to recharge and reflect. It’s also a good idea to socialize with friends and do activities that do not interest your older partner.
You need to maintain your individuality within your relationship because it is just as important as developing similar interests and experiences.
People Also Ask:
Is 10 Years a Big Dating Age Gap?
A 10-year age gap in a relationship is seen as a big difference. Often, when a person has a decade more of life experience than their partner, it can result in incompatibilities. You both are likely to have different social circles, interests, and life goals.
Why Do Older Women Like Younger Guys?
Older women like dating younger guys because of the excitement and fun that they bring to the relationship. Younger guys tend to be more lighthearted and easygoing than older men.
Is It Okay To Date a Woman Older Than You?
It is very common to date someone who is a few years younger or older than you because the age gap is not that significant, especially among the younger generation.
Sometimes the maturity levels match, even when the ages don’t. But when the age gap is very large, then it can sometimes be a little more challenging.
What Is The Rule Of 7?
According to the rule of 7, you can date someone who is half your age plus seven or more years. So if you are 34, you can date someone who is 24 years old or older.
Keep in mind that this dating rule is not based on scientific research; it was just published in a book in 1901.
Final Thoughts
Dating an older woman is something that you should carefully think about. Yes, age is only a number, but each situation is different from the next. Examine the benefits and drawbacks to determine which outweighs the other.
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