Dating a MILF – Good, Bad & Things You Must Be Careful About
by John Santana
There comes a time in life when a man has hit his mid-twenties or so and wants to finally settle down with someone. Perhaps instead, it’s a more ambitious entrepreneur of a man who is looking for an older woman, who has already gone through her childbearing stage, so they can run a business together, uninterrupted. Maybe there’s a guy who isn’t so lucky in the procreation department and can’t bring forth any kids of his own and is looking for a single mom to help support him.
Whatever the case may be, in today’s dating world, there are options that can satisfy some of these situations and lead to some pretty interesting relations. Some of these options lie in the realm of dating women that are considered to be in the MILF category. When dating a MILF, there are some things to keep in mind so that way the experience turns out to be positive, no matter the length of the relationship.
What Is A MILF?
This category of dating institutes that the woman that men call MILF’s (“Mom I’d Like to Friend”- get your head out of the gutter) are after all, moms. Dating a mom who has kids from another relationship, young or grown, is a different story than dating someone who does not have kids. This means that there are different priorities for the woman beyond her sense of self.
If you plan on dating a MILF or are already dating a MILF and looking to enhance the relationship, it is important to understand the needs of today’s MILF. There are definitely some differences between the older MILF and the younger MILF.
Dating The Older MILF
Dating an older mother who is between her 30s and late 40s can be a great investment of time. An older woman is usually more steadfast in her life: she knows what she wants. This can be great for a long-haul and steady relationship.
Sometimes this relationship is longed after by younger men looking to satisfy their want to date a “cougar” or an older woman. This age range can be anywhere between 35 and early 50s. Elderly women, although MILF’s in their own right, usually don’t share the same issues as middle-aged or younger MILFs.
Older MILFs will have almost or mostly grown children. These dynamics are often placed as boundaries in the beginning. Older MILFs aren’t generally concerned with looking for a step-parent for their kids. If anything, they are looking for someone to compliment themselves in their journey in life.
Whether it’s short-term dating for fun or for a long-term relationship, older MILFs will always have other people depending on them. Whether their children are grown and out of the home or not does create a different type of relationship. Older children generally understand that their parents are separated and seeing other people, and there are usually no hard feelings.
Dating The Younger MILF
Dating a younger mother often means that there is still room to grow together. A younger mother will probably be just as responsible and reliable but deal with a little more struggle. The younger the woman, the more likely they are still figuring things out in life if she has kids yet or not.
The younger the MILF, the younger the kids are. Are you ready to help her support her in-home children? If you aren’t just dating for fun and seeing the younger MILF in a public adult setting, then this is something you should consider. Are you ready for the responsibility of getting to know and care for these tiny humans that don’t belong to you?
This is a tender topic when it comes to parenting kids that don’t belong to you and is a topic for a different time. This doesn’t mean that dating a MILF isn’t any less fun. But unless there’s a constant 24/7 babysitter, you will meet her children eventually. How this goes is entirely up to you and the mom.
Whether dating an older MILF or a younger MILF there are still some qualities that the two share. MILFs typically know what they want in their situation, they’ve been through previous relationships, they have kids (they are moms, after all), they have wisdom from past experiences, and they are looking for a compliment to their lives.
Dating MILFs
A Woman Who Knows What She Wants
An older woman who has reached her 30s and 40s has lived a pretty full life so far. This may mean that this woman already has “seen it all” and knows what she wants in a relationship. Oftentimes, if a MILF is single and open to a relationship, there has to have been some healing time from the previous relationship.
An older woman will have learned to utilize more personal time to heal from a previous relationship, or simply may have been so busy going after what she wanted. Finally, the healing process happened on its own.
Whatever the situation may be, an older woman has matured more and has had the time to figure herself out.
- She has learned who she is
- She has learned what she likes
- She has learned what she doesn’t like (more importantly)
- She has learned what she will tolerate
- She has learned what she needs to keep her and her children afloat, whatever the system may be
A woman who knows what she wants can be a great partner. This will accentuate your personal life with someone who has goals and a stable mindset of growth and homeostasis in a relationship. A woman who knows what she wants may at first be perceived as stubborn, but this isn’t necessarily the case. Usually, prior relationships have paved the way for this.
Previous Relationships and Kids
A MILF will have already have had another relationship or several (depending on the woman and her baby daddy situation). If you happen to have met and kept a woman who only had kids with you, then she is still a MILF, she’s just already your MILF. If that’s not the situation, then there are some important things to keep in mind.
Women who have had prior relationships and who have had kids with other people have already experienced some of the most intimate and perhaps the most trying times with someone else. This is key to note because women who are considered MILFS should be given the due respect and personal space to deal with situations that may occur with those other people involving their mutual children.
Having kids with someone can be stressful and can sometimes change the dynamic of how the relationship works. Sometimes a rock-solid relationship can become shaky and full of turmoil because the stress of kids or other things relating to the raising of said kids.
A MILF will most likely:
- Have kids with someone else
- Have experienced multiple past relationships, whether dating or marriage, separation or divorce (It’s not advised to go after a MILF who isn’t free and single, that just adds unwanted drama)
- Have no tolerance for a relationship that resembles any old relationships
Knowing that a MILF has had prior relationships with someone else and respecting that fact is one of the several keys to success in dating them. This also branches out to their children and the situations involving them. This only really pertains to those who have children at home still and shouldn’t be weighed upon heavily in other situations.
A big thing to consider is that regardless of their age, a woman’s kids will come first. This means that they have other things to deal with besides their relationship with you. Sometimes this is a put-off for men because they like to be the center of attention.
Word of advice, don’t seek a MILF if you have to have all the attention on you. They have others to care for and to think about, and oftentimes, these others came long before you two ever met. Respecting these boundaries and being helpful in situations involving her children will earn you brownie points.
Wisdom and Compassion
MILFs are mothers and, therefore, natural caregivers. A MILF will know how to cook, clean, and take care of her children, in turn meaning she knows how to care for herself. A benefit of dating a MILF is to get to experience her wisdom and compassion from prior experiences, as well as the good cooking and clean linens!
A MILF will have a lot going on, though, all the time. Whether it’s phone calls from day-care, problems regarding a sick babysitter, a sick child, issues with school pickups, snafus with baby daddies, ex-in-laws, or any other problem seen and unforeseen, you must remember to be flexible if you want this relationship to be successful.
Calm, not Chaos
To date a MILF successfully, it is important to remember to keep calm and carry on. You have to go with the flow, whether it’s a light drizzle, or a torrential rainfall, to keep up with the life of a MILF. You aren’t their priority a lot of the time, and if that’s okay with you, then it may be a realistic relationship for you.
MILFs can not afford to have their time wasted. They have mouths to feed and they will get it done with or without your help. Honestly, it’s not even help they need, whether financially or with their kids. Sometimes a MILF just needs a friend. This is why the stigma of the term MILF is kind of overrated.
There are plenty of moms to befriend out there because, seriously, most of them just need friends. Get to know them, make them laugh, make it about them in the early stages. You’ll be sure to be able to catch a MILF to eventually date and maybe turn into something more long-term in the future.
A mom generally wants to be able to go out and have a good time in the dating world without worrying about her children. In these times, it is good to hear her out, get to know her, ask about her children, her job, etc. Getting to know the MILF you’re dating can help you understand your place in her life.
Conclusion
When dating a MILF there are lots of things to consider. There are many benefits to dating a MILF, such as dating a woman who knows what she wants, can cook, and is compassionate and caring. There are also some things to consider, such as age, prior relationships, and the age of the children, that can change a multitude of variables.
It is best to understand that to be successful in dating a MILF, one needs to be patient, understanding, trusting, and flexible. A MILF has prior relationships, kids with other men, and expectations created by their own understanding of these experiences. There is a difference between an older MILF and a younger MILF in the goals of their lives, but both can be wise and compassionate types of people just because they have the role as mom.
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