Bi Erasure Is Real! Even in LGBTQ+ Spaces That Claim to Be Inclusive

Bi erasure is a frustratingly common experience for bi and pan people. It’s a concept that’s been around for a very long time, though the term itself was only coined in 1999. Bi folks who experience bi erasure as a regular part of their life can feel excluded from both gay and straight communities. Often, they may feel that their acceptance into either of these groups is conditional upon who their partner is, undermining their self-esteem.

Here, we want to discuss what bisexual erasure is and how this form of biphobia can manifest even in supposedly inclusive LGBTQ+ spaces. The goal of this is to make sure that we’re all a little more educated about what it means to be bi, so that we can combat biphobia going forward and make spaces more inclusive to all.

What Is Bi Erasure?

At its most fundamental level, bisexual erasure is the effort to imply that bisexuality isn’t real, or otherwise doesn’t exist. When spelled out like that, it may seem a little odd: clearly bi people exist, otherwise people wouldn’t call themselves bi, right?

Well, the act of erasure is typically much more subtle than ripping up papers or burning books. Instead, it most commonly manifests as a belief that bisexual people are lying to themselves in some way. This typically shows up in two ways: sexuality defined by partner choice, and infantilization through imagined confusion. Psychologist Thomas York discusses this in more detail in this research article.

The “imagined confusion” form of biphobia is less spoken about than the first, but often more frustrating and offensive. Through the course of growing from a child into a young adult, we all go through puberty. For most of us, this process involves suddenly being a bit more interested in romance and starting to experience sexual feelings for the first time. It can be a very confusing time, especially for queer folk. Biphobic people sometimes imagine that bi people are still in that confusing time. It’s not uncommon to hear biphobic family members say, “They’re just confused, they don’t know what they really want.”

The truth of the matter is, of course, bi people aren’t confused or lying to themselves — bisexuality is real, and is definitely experienced by many people. Therefore, it can be frustrating to feel these very real sensations and emotions, only to be told “you’re still figuring yourself out” or “you just need to settle on one or the other”.

The other common form of bi erasure is the belief that the truth of a bi person’s sexuality can be “confirmed” by their choice of partner. For instance, a bisexual woman might be in a relationship with a man. While in that relationship, she may be told that she must not actually be bi: she’s with a man.

This is a fundamental and deliberate misunderstanding of bisexuality. Our hypothetical woman is bisexual, no matter her choice of partner. The go-to metaphor for bisexuality as lycanthropy works well here. A bisexual person is bisexual whether they’re with a man or a woman. This is the same as a werewolf, who is a werewolf whether they’re currently a human or a wolf.

The choice to label her as gay or straight is one designed to create a narrative in which, again, she’s “confused”. This is another example of infantilization, and can be very frustrating to bi people.

How Does Bi Erasure Impact People?

Erasure can impact bi people in a number of different ways. Most commonly, the impact is felt in a social setting, in which bi people are not accepted into queer communities well, if at all. For instance, if our hypothetical bi woman from earlier in this article decided to take her boyfriend to a pride event, they may be mislabelled as a straight couple. In turn, this could lead to them not being able to participate in the event in the way that they had hoped, and not form queer friendships.

This lack of queer friendships can have more far-reaching social ramifications. For instance, if there are resources out there designed to help queer folk by giving them jobs or access to healthcare, a bi person might not know about them if they’re not in the right circles. There’s no way to send a group text to all bisexuals in the world, which means that queer social networks are a very important tool for sharing aid to those who need it.

Interestingly, GLAAD has shared research about the impact of bi erasure with regard to health. There are significant disparities between the health of bi folks and heterosexuals, lesbians, and gays. The most surprising disparity is that of mood disorders: bisexual people experience higher rates of anxiety and depression than the other groups mentioned above. Among other findings, the bisexual resource center found that, compared to heterosexuals, bi people experience higher rates of STI diagnoses, heart disease, and cancer risk factors. This compounds into a profound difference, and is worth talking about to ensure people get adequate care when they need it.

When and How to Combat Bi Erasure

Combating erasure can be a supremely difficult task, since so much of our language is tied up in semantics and can be confusing. However, as a bi person, you’ll surely know when you feel your sexuality has been overlooked or not considered, whether that manifests as someone making an offhand comment about your boyfriend, or a loved one deliberately telling you that they expect you to “pick a sexuality” at some point.

The best way to combat bi erasure is through simple, consistent statements of fact. This may seem like simplification, but it’s true. The root of erasure is to pretend bi folks don’t exist. By standing in front of someone and clearly stating that you’re a bi person, you’re contradicting their worldview and forcing them to confront their beliefs. Keep your language consistent and straightforward, and you will often find that even the most determined biphobe will cave eventually.

Erasure is a form of biphobia that goes beyond being frustrating, it can be damaging to bi people physically and mentally. In your own life, work to change your language, and that of those around you, to combat bi erasure.