How To Honestly Tell Your Hookup He’s Being Lazy in Bed?
by John Santana
Let’s face it. Orgasm is the only reason to hook up. You are here for a good time. Hooking up is no charity. You should not work your body to satisfy a man that doesn’t know how to pleasure you.
Having a bad hookup can be traumatizing because you are literally not getting anything from him. There is no emotional connection to compensate for you. Knowing how to tell your hookup he is lazy in bed can improve the situation. Instead of making fun of his lack of skills, you can help him be a better man.
Best Ways To Tell Your Hookup He’s Being Lazy In Bed
1. Take The Lead In Bed
Don’t understand it wrong. Taking the lead in bed doesn’t mean you let him be lazy. On the contrary, you take the lead to make him work for you. If he is trying to make you go on top every time, be firm and guide him to take you from behind. Don’t go with his flow every time. Firmly put his hands in the right places.
Usually, when you firmly reject his move, he should take the hint that you want him to work. Only a shameless slack will ignore the hint and make you pleasure him. Causal sex is not a one-way street. Take back control from him so you can make him do what you want.
2. Tell Him About Your Favorite Moves
Occasionally, it’s not that he is lazy but that he doesn’t know what you like. In his mind, he is doing your favorite moves. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t give up on him just yet. Before you have your next hookup, tell him about your favorite moves casually.
Slide in the topic in a casual conversation so he doesn’t feel judged. You can start by asking him about his favorite moves and then share yours. Even if he is hardworking in bed, it’s still good to discuss each other’s preferences to up the game.
3. Ask Him To Do Certain Things
“Would you go down on me?”
Don’t be shy about asking for what you want. You deserve to be pleased as much as he does. Bossing your sexual partner around can seem intimidating but it shouldn’t be. It is not intrusive to intervene. Sexual partners should often review their moves so everyone gets a happy ending.
There is a chance that he might refuse certain requests. Ask him about the reason. Maybe he doesn’t find certain acts joyful or maybe he isn’t flexible enough. Everything can be fixed with an honest discussion.
Keep calm during the time and avoid using accusatory phrases. People tend to get defensive immediately. No one likes being accused. So, prepare a nice speech when he is too lazy to cater to your requests to fix things up.
4. Let Him Know You Are Uncomfortable With His Moves
Some men are a bit slow at taking hints. Your effort may go down the drain. All the subtle hints you throw at him will be swiftly ignored. In that case, you can only confront him. His lack of motivation to try to please you can be quite insulting, even though it may not be intentional.
Tell him how he makes you feel not valued by ignoring your needs. Perhaps he is out of practice or simply doesn’t know your preference. Instead of criticizing all his moves, give him a few suggestions for next time to work on. He needs to know his skills are bothering you enough that you no longer enjoy sex. But at the same time, he needs clear guidance to avoid making the same mistakes.
5. Reject Sex With Him If The Problem Persists
There is a chance that he is being lazy in bed because he genuinely does not care about your welfare. He chooses to deliberately ignore your needs to only satisfy his. That is an absolute cheap shot and should not be tolerated. You are unlikely to change his behaviors as he doesn’t care about you. He has probably been like that his whole life.
Continuing to hook up with someone like that is awful. You are not gaining anything in return. There is only investment from your side. If you are ever unlucky enough to encounter someone like that, leave this casual relationship. He is not worth your time. There is nothing to be missed about his presence.
6. Give Him Incentives
Yes, you need to treat your man like a little child sometimes. Give him incentives to work for you. Do it respectfully and be cheeky about it.
For example, tell him the new tricks you will do for him if he makes you squirt. Any reward you can think of can be the best motivator. You can also ask him to name his price. Put something daring on the bet to spice things up a little. It can turn into a fun sex game.
Some men are naturally lazy in every aspect. They won’t do things unless it is good for them. Therefore, put a reward for giving your orgasm. You will see changes in his behaviors in no time. Gradually, it will be in his subconscious to do the things you like. When your needs are met, sex will be much more coherent.
7. Watch Porn Together
Verbal and physical instructions do not always do justice as you may not know how to express yourself either. Watching porn together is a healthy way to improve his sex skills. He can learn about everything a woman needs.
Traditionally, porn is made for men. It only shows how women should satisfy their partners. Therefore, you need to pick the right category. Choose female porn where women’s senses are magnified.
Let him know everything he has missed about a woman’s body before. Not only can it be mind-blowing for him but it can also be a good lesson for you to learn some new tricks. Watching porn together is one of the best activities because it is arousing and educational.
Is Bad Sex a Bad Sign?
Absolutely, especially when you are seriously considering dating your hookup.
Sex matters. Numerous studies have found that couples with a harmonious sex life tend to argue less. They are happier and more relaxed. People don’t often realize how bad sex is impacting them negatively.
When your sex drive is not satisfied, your frustration shows in other aspects. You are more easily agitated and annoyed. This leads to constant arguments with those around you, particularly your partner.
Not having a good sex life is detrimental to a relationship. It destroys the positive sides you have built up. You should overlook this vital pillar of a relationship. No matter how good he is in other aspects, you need to focus on improving your sex life with him if you want this to be long-term.
How To Continuously Improve The Quality Of Your Sex Life?
With every new sexual partner, there is a learning curve. No matter how experienced you are, finding the perfect fit with your shape and form will take some trial and error. Mending your differences is a fun journey if it is done right.
Regularly reviewing your sex quality with your partner is an awesome way to keep things exciting. Just because he is a hookup doesn’t mean he can’t benefit from knowing what pleasures a woman the most. It is definitely not embarrassing to bring this up. Discussion on sex is not exclusive to couples.
After hooking up for a while, the same motion can get a bit boring. Introduce some new items to your sex life. Sex toys are good because of the variety. You will never run out of new toys to play with. You can dive in a little with your sexual partner on some BDSM or other kinks.
Finally, if toys and bondage can no longer satisfy you, bringing in a new partner can be an option to keep the flames strong. There are plenty of online dating sites where you will find an extra partner in the relationship. Or you can consider swapping sexual partners with another couple.
The possibilities are endless. Whatever you can think of, someone has likely done it before. When you are being creative, you should not find sex unenjoyable. After eliminating all possible causes, the only reason for bad sex is probably your partner. And, maybe you should get a new partner on a dating site so you can see how heavenly good sex is.
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Summary
It is annoying to deal with a lazy hookup. You’d think sex etiquette is embedded in every casual dater but it’s not. There are times when you will make your man work for it. Don’t forget to sign up on the best hookup sites in the USA to get some smoking hot sex on Adult FriendFinder, Ashley Madison, and Bang Locals.
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